How can I stop being so critical?

Question

my mom told me I was very critical, for ex I am seeing this guy that told me that the last person he dated was not well spoken she is 37 y/o to make a long story short she uses the word "were" instead of "was" and vice versa and he also shared with me that this is what bothered him about her, and I told my mom about it b/c I thought it was funny. My mom said to that I should stop being so critical and stuck up just b/c I am in school and everyone is not blessed to have that opportunity.But how can you not be critical of that. WTF it doesn't really have anything to do with being in school, you learn to speak proper english in elementary! I admit I am a bit judgemental so how can I train myself not to be.

aint and ya'll is different than sayn sumthin like " yes I were" come on, it doesn't even sound right or fit at all.

Answer 1

Insecurities. It has been well researched that insecure people tend to point out other people's short comings. That is also why self conscious gay people are well known to be bitchy and sacarstic.

You can stop being so hard on yourself. Only when you are at ease with yourself, you are at ease with the whole world.

Answer 2

When I was younger I was pretty judgemental as well, as many people are.

The key to ending it is to find things in common with everyone. Its possible, even if you dont think so. Once you do that, you begin to see a bit of yourself in everyone else. And when you do that, you dont criticize and judge as much, because you realize that we're all just people, and we all have similar things and nothing makes one person better than another.

And "proper english" doesnt really matter either. I mean, I say things like "aint" and "yall" on occasion, which arent "proper" but what does it really matter? Does it change anything about who I am or what kind of a person I am? Nope.

Answer 3

Try to imagine the other person's circumstances and understand it from their point of view.

Maybe this person's parents always talked in a non-standard way and they got used to it and learned it when they were a kid and the habit is hard to break or they don't realize what they're doing. Try to understand a little about why they do it. And yes, you don't have to be their pal if you feel like they're not worth it.

I had a friend who would say "I seen" instead of "I saw" sometimes since he was raised in a hick town, but he was nice in other ways and it's stupid to judge someone completely from one detail (though I understand how much something like that can bug you).

I can understand about being judgmental like this since I am sometimes, too. But try to consider the circumstances and other aspects of the person besides just the one thing that bothers you.

Answer 4

Learn to Love Yourself