Why oh why can I not get my 2 yr old to sleep in his own bed?

Question

It's been since October since we've moved into this house. Our previous house was in such bad shape, we (husband, 2 kids and I) all shared the living room where we slept, ate, and all of the above. The kids each slept in their bed. We on a mattress on the floor. Now since we've been in this new house, I still cannot get my son who will be 2 next week, will not sleep in his bed. I've sat beside him 'til he fell asleep, I've crept out of his room thinking he was asleep but instead he follows me to our room and I put him back in his room continuously, I've sang to him, I've crawled in his bed with him, I've played soft lullaby music for him, nothing works. It can go on for hours until I finally get to bed. For instance, I started getting him to bed at 8:30pm, its now almost 12:30am. Hubby works and is on call 24/7 so hes usually asleep through all this. If I get him to sleep, he creeps into our bed between us and I have to get up and put him back. Hes so determined to sleep with us that

he will stay awake all night sometimes. And then want to sleep all day, or at least be cranky. You'd think he'd be sleepy and give up but he won't. Its been 6 months of this and I'm so tired of being tired and I don't know what else to do. I can still hear him in there kicking around. I'm surprised hes not screaming...Help!

I don't have this problem with my daughter, shes only 9 mo. old. She'll sleep all night long.

Ive even tried keeping him up all day long with no nap, that doesn't work either.

Answer 1

Here is what you do......First off lets back his bed time up alittle to allow for the extra time this is going to take for awhile. You need to be the strong parent here and this may seem crazy but it really many times is just who is going to outlast the other. In my opinion, since I was the parent I always was able to outlast a 2 year old. Ok, this needs to be something you need to set your mind to and not waver...at all. Pick a night you will start this and stick with it. Put him to bed. The first few times he gets up even if you aren't in bed yet yourself you take his hand and lead him back to his bed saying a few words of why he needs to stay in his bed. Repeat this for maybe 3 to five times. After about the fifth time take his hand and lead him back to his bed but from then on you don't say one word to him...in other words take him back to his bed...put him in it and leave the room without any conversation. The minute he is up again, and you know it, you repeat the same thing......put him back in bed and leave the room. Now I know you have said that you have tried this and it doesn't work. But I suspect that at some point during the evening you give in and he ends up in your bed. See, that can't happen. Now this may seem crazy to you, but kids may catch on in as little as 5 to 10 times of being put back in their bed but it is not unusual for you to have to do this upwards of 20, 30 or even 40 times in an evening but if you keep at it, they will eventually stay in bed. It really is a war of determination and as long as you stay stronger than him, he will eventually wear down. What it comes down to is at some point he will understand that when he gets up it will be the same result...mom is going to lead me back to my bed and put me in it and leave without any discussion. Now he may get to a point where he will cry or have a temper tantrum because he knows in his own little way he isn't winning, but don't fall for that, just lead him back to his bed and put him in it and leave the room. You may have a few long nites but if you stick with it and don't allow yourself to be dragged into any kind of emotional thing then it will work. The secret I think is consistency as well as a certain kind of coldness on your part to not have any discussion with him...just lead him back...put him to bed and leave. Your husbands help doing this would be good so that it shows a united front to your son but you will have to adjust to whatever schedule the two of you have I guess....Good Luck!

Answer 2

Alright, this sounds SO familiar. My daughter, when we moved into our new home, was a 100% mommy's girl. She wanted Mommy to sleep with her, wouldn't come to me for anything, and above all, did NOT want to sleep in a separate bed from Mommy. Some things you could try: take his favorite stuffed animal, and save an unlaundered shirt of yours, and dress or wrap the animal in it. Place it close to her, then try singing her to sleep. His sense of smell will tell her subconsciously that you are there, and it might keep him in her own bed. If this doesn't work, try talking with your child during the daytime. Something may be scaring him in his bedroom, or he may just be clingy toward his Mommy. In either case, sometimes the only way to break the habit is by refusing flat-out to cave in. It only took a few weeks before my daughter came around and began sleeping in her own bed with no argument. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have seen stories like yours on the Super Nanny on ABC TV
and I had a two year old who did the same thing... but the best thing I have seen is the Nanny helping the parents learn how to get their kids to go to bed and stay in their own beds!
It takes persistence, confidence, and determination to make it work... I didn't have any of those when it was happening to me, but I hope you can do it! Good luck!

Answer 4

My children like us to sleep with them also. Remember that he is two. I am sure there are times where you wish you could have your Mom hold you and make you feel safe and that everything is right in your world. I also remind myself that they are only little once and that there will be a time when we aren't their favorite person. Is it so bad to sleep in the same room with your son? This situation is all he has known. Remember he is still a little one. Nanny 911 and super nanny ABC and FOX are great programs with really good ideas.

Answer 5

hmmm, dont know what to tell you, eventually, he will grow out of it, could be a week, could be 10-12 years! for a while there, my daughter would not let me leave the room without her, even when i had to use the bathroom, no matter how "stinky her daddy was going to make the bathroom", she would be right there, sitting on the edge of the tub.....MAN, i sure am glad she stopped THAT! oh, by the way, where is the pic of you, doing the dishes?

Answer 6

When our son was 2, he went through a phase where he wanted to sleep with us. Just let him do it and eventually he'll want back in his own bed.

By the time he was 3 (he's 5 now) he refused to sleep with us, preferring his own bed.

Answer 7

Stop sitting with him until he falls asleep. Follow a routine and put him to bed. If he gets up take him back to bed, give him kisses and cuddles and walk out of the room. If he gets up again walk him back to his bed and put him in and walk out. You have to do this over and over and over, night after night after night until he learns that he isn't in control.

Answer 8

i had a similar problem with my daughter who just turned 2 earlier this week. well we bought her new bedding (dora, she loves that) well she was excited and went and slept in her bed, it took about an hour for her to sleep but she finally did. so maybe you can try buying him a new bed spread.

Answer 9

according to my parents, i slept in their bed with them until i was 4 years old. what my mom did when i was 3 or something was slept in the bed opposite me in my room until i could be on my own. when i had a bad dream i would come in her bed and she would comfort me.

Answer 10

because he is used to sleep close to you and now in his own room he feels lonely and scared, don't ask why, he is just 2, it will take a while may be a month but he will get used to it, good luck