my father has altziemers. I feel lost and alone tring to take care of him. He has to go to a home. I am torn?

Answer 1

You dad needs to be in a safe enviroment. Depending on how far along his Alzheimers is he may be able to go to an assisted living facility and not a nursing home. Either way nursing facilities are not all bad. I have been a nursing home nurse for over 33 years. You are probably torn because you feel like you are letting him down and not being the good kid to able to take care of him up to the end. You need to realize that you have done your best and now it is time to let someone who is experienced in this take over for you. You are not letting him down as you are making sure that he gets the best care and kept out of danger but placing him in a safe enviroment. If you don't take to a place that can handle him how would you feel if he wandered away and got hit by a car or got lost for days on end. Your dad's safety is the issue here as well his care. This is never an easy decision but think of safety and health issues here. Good Luck.

Answer 2

It is really difficult to take care of an Alzheimer's patient at home, and it is really difficult to have to place an Alzheimer's patient in a facility. Some people are able to care for their loved ones at home until the end, and some need to place them early. It all depends upon your individual circumstances, and you need to do what is right for your whole family -- not just your father, but you and any others who are dependent on you. I placed my dad early. I had to.

If you do put your dad in a facility, you need to make sure you visit a lot and keep an eye on things. I have had my dad in 2 very good facilities, where I trusted the staff very much, but I still found it helpful to visit daily. Not only did it keep him from feeling too lonely, but it helped me spot medical problems early (because I know him so well), and it helped me develop good working relationships with his caregivers so that we could solve problems together. If you find a good facility, it will be a relief to know that he is getting the care he needs without your being responsible for it 24/7. If the facility turns out not to be good (we had one of those, too), you will know it early on and be able to find him a better one.

See if there are any Alzheimer's or dementia support groups in your area. The Alzheimer's Association might have something or know of something. There are so many people going through this -- you are bound to find others going through the exact same thing. Good luck!

Answer 3

Call the Department of aging and request a home maker to help. It is free if his income is not too high. They will send someone to determine how much care he needs. They will bath, dress, clean his room and even cook for him. It could be daily if needed or from one to four hours, sometimes eight. Go to the Department of aging on your PC and read about it. That should take some stress off you,until you decide if he has to go to a home and give you the much needed free time you deserves. Buy a baby monitor and put the monitor in his room, and the reciever in your room, so, you can hear him at night. He will not be able to hear you, but you can hear him.

Answer 4

It's really, really hard to take care of someone with Alzheimer's. My husband's grandfather has it, and he was admitted to a hospital six months ago for something else. Their personality changes, and they are very hard to keep track of. I know it feels very bad to send him to a home, but do what you can. If he got hurt around your house, that would be bad too. Visit him as much as you can, and maybe bring him home for a day-visit every once in awhile. You've done everything you can, right? Try not to beat yourself up about it.

Answer 5

feel sorry for you. its a tough thing to deal with.