will you tell me ?

Question

will you tell me a funny joke or riddle . It can be a knock knock joke dumb blond joke dirty jokes kiddie jokes any type

Answer 1

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...
Florida or
the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida
?????"

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDINGTICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he
could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show
it
to you!"

RIVERWALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to
the
other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back,"You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE - my personal favorite!
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then
she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made
her
scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled along side a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing atthe car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel
was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bull horn and yelled,
"PULLOVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said,"We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
heads."You
can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at
night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled
the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you
are
in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINALLY,THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend,who had acquired two new dogs,
and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was
named
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of
someone
naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watchdogs!"

Answer 2

A notorious killer escaped from his cell. The seargent commanded his men to close all exits.
A few minutes of mayhem later, a private reported the killer has escaped.
The seargent got super angry and asked "How did he escape?"
The private replied "He went through the entrance, sir!"

Answer 3

a dumb blonde is driving along on a long stretch of road when she suddenly sees another blonde sitting in a cornfield in a boat, rowing. she pulls over and gets out of the car.
she yells angrily " its people like you that give us blondes a bad name! if i could swim id come right over there and kick your butt!"
----------------------

yo mama so fat then when she jumped for joy, she got stuck!
yo mama so stupid that she went to see Shamu at a whalers game
yo mama so fat then she strarted singing "we are family, burger king McDonalds and me
----------------------

a man who had been in prison for 16 years finally gets out of jail. he rushes to the first house so he could rob the people there. he fnds a young couple making love. he grabd the man, ties him to a chair then grabs the woman and ties her to the bed. he gets naked and gets on top of her. he kisses her neck and goes to the bathroom. the husband turns to his wife and says" honey that guy is an escaped convist, look at his clothes!" hi wife nods. "okay so do anything he wants you to do, if he wants to do you, let him, if he wants you to kiss him, kiss him. be strong honey! I love you"
the wife says "actually the guy wasnt kissng my neck he was whispering that he thought you were hot and wanted to see if we had some vaseline, i told hi it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey, i love you".

Answer 4

Some one from some where went for war . He came back as loser . his Friends tolled him you were well equipped why lost . He angrily replied " in one hand rifle , in another sword, did I have to war with my teeth"

Answer 5

I wanted to be a doctor but I didn't have the patience!