After 2 months of no contact I finally had the courage to tell him my side of the story during the relationship, since he was my second long term relationship I didn't have any experience in guys who had issues which i never came across which i misinterpreted thinking that something was wrong with me that i wasn't accepted for who I was and made me pretend to be someone else for the realtionship to work. Looking back at it now I know where I have done wrong and I have learnt my lesson, so i have told him this. But now he is contacting more often asking questions about what i said, its like he's interested in what happened too. Could this be a good thing or am i just wasting my time. I still love him, my feelings haven't changed but I'm not expecting any miracles here, just want to know if this could be a thing?
2007-03-24 17:53:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By the way he dumped me, saying that he was unhappy at the end of the relationship but didn't know why. I was furous at him then becuase he basicly ran away, he did tried to contact me before but I ignored it because I wasn't ready.
2007-03-24 17:55:39 · update #1
No, you are just going to end up back in the relationship again either as sex buddies or in a full time relationship that might just be the same way. 2 months is not enough time to go back and talk about your "feelings", they are still raw. You are only fooling yourself. Don't do it.
2007-03-24 17:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is always a good thing. For one is closure, Men need it too. Of course right after the break up its always hard to talk with them. Feelings and emotions run high. Yes they are ex's for a reason but I will tell you if you are able to tell him how you feel and think its a win win for both parties down the road. Communication will be used on a broader scale. After some time apart its easier to say how you feel because the initial sting isn't so strong.
Plus people latter see things more clearly once they are separated from the issues. Reflection comes into to play and sometimes really hurts yourself cause you couldn't see the whys before hand. Possible too he regrets letting it go which is most likely the case.
On the other hand when your still in love with the person that second chance is there and deep down you are hoping he will want it too work out too. I say that only because of the way your question has ended. I don't think your wasting your time, it feels good to know you have let it all out. Just like you said don't be counting on miracles.
2007-03-24 18:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes talking and communicating with your ex is a good thing even though you are currently not together.
If you still love him and he is contacting you more often asking questions wanting more information then it sounds like he really still cares for you and wants to understand you.
If he cheated then he needs to ask himself why and be completely honest with you. His actions didn't necessarily have to do with you personally...they are HIS ISSUES and only he can fix them...counseling is a good place to start.
I think the breaking up is actually a positive thing in the long run if you both still care for one another. Open communication, honesty and trust are the keys to a happy healthy relationship.
I don't recommend jumping back into a relationship with him until he gets help and deals with his issues that caused your reaction which caused him to run.
You both have to be mature, deal and confront issues as they may come up. If he solves his personal issues and you also confront yours...you have a good chance at a happy relationship.
Best of Luck!
and don't forget...communicate!
2007-03-24 18:06:19 · answer #3 · answered by Intelfem7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it takes the breaking up to open up. Perhaps now you can talk and reconcile but be careful. You say, " looking back at it now I know where I have done wrong, etc." Just as it takes two to make a relationship work it also takes two to break it up. Your statement sounds your blaming yourself but has he taken any responsibility in the break up? I'm a man and it sounds like he is letting you be the fall guy for the breakup and will now try to dominate the relationship. Hold back, dont confess to being the reason for the breakup, and DONT pretend to be anyone else but yourself. If he has issues have him tell you about them. Remember, be yourself and DONT pretend to be someone else to make him happy. My sister did that, got married, then got screwed over.
2007-03-24 18:10:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you were both too immature to talk to each other about your problems. I doubt that in two or three months you have had a vast gain in maturity. I think it is probably a good idea to clear the air of misunderstandings between the two of you, but I don't think either are ready to jump back into a relationship for a while.
2007-03-24 18:09:07 · answer #5 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how u feel ...and I know how it feels 2 love him, but look at it this way u dont lose ne thing by doing it. Plus it will help u get clouser or possibly give u a second chance which cant be bad.
take the risk
it wont kill u if ne thing make u a better person and give u the expirence and if it dont work out then it just wasnt meant to be.
2007-03-24 18:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seriously, he dumped you, the girl he dumped you for didn't work out, and now he's hoping to get back with you.
Forget him, and move on.
90% likely, that's the case.
Guys in a relationship don't just drop who they were with, they tend to trade up, if they do that, and they cut it off so the new girl doesn't see you around, on the phone, etc.
The not talking is the key. He didn't call you up out of the blue, since he figured you were mad, when whoever he moved to didn't play out like he thought. Maybe she was chasing him, because he was with you. when he dumped you it was too fast, and she bolted since she likes people who are with someone.
Just move on, with your head on straight.
If you with to torture yourself, ask him What was her name, that girl you were with, these two months.
If you want to torture him, do it during your next encounter right at the point of when he's all hot and bothered, point blank, ask him, then get up, get dressed, and leave. He'll learn a lesson in protecting what he has that's good.
Anyway good luck.
2007-03-24 18:02:38 · answer #7 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u guys should be friends for a while before coming to any decisions.see around..maybe there would be someone else with whom u wouldnt really have to compromise.Its good to talk about the mistakes that u have made in your previous relationship..it helps u to rectify yourself.but instead of working out things with u..he walked out on u.Would u be able to take it if he does that again?follow your heart..good luck
2007-03-24 17:59:48 · answer #8 · answered by Beautiful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have sex with him no matter what you do. Fine to find out what the problem was but don't get reinvolved with him. Move forward not backwards. Don't get back together with a man that you couldn't get along with. People don't change that much in life.
2007-03-24 18:00:08 · answer #9 · answered by Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt exactly get too candid with an ex because your ex is an ex for a reason. I don't have any contact with my ex whatsoever and if he called me tommorow I wouldnt disclose who I am with because it's none of his buisness. Your life after him is your buisness. You're making it hard on yourself to get over the breakup by still talking to your ex.
2007-03-24 17:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋