Ok, the reason my girlfriend dumped me was because she said i didn't talk to her much. But she wont let me tell her the reason i couldn't. First i was really nervous and shy for dating the cutest girl in my school. then, my brother was filling my head with all these bad things of her and a few weeks later my brother had to go to the emergency room.....so i wouldn't talk to anyone cuz the doctor said he might die but he came out ok. Then my sister who looked alot like my girlfriend had died and i was really close to my sister. So i had to go to therapy and the guy said not to near anything or anyone who or that reminded me of her i argued about this but i had too. then i was gonna tell my girlfriend about this but she dumped me so could someone help me get her back? i tried telling her sorry and why i couldn't but she wont listen to me
2007-03-24 17:17:16 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ask her if you can talk and explain to her that a lot has been going on in your life and it hasn't affected how you feel about her. You just needed time to pull yourself together after all that hapened.
2007-03-24 17:22:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, let's focus on your shyness problem.. Honey, you have to be more confident in yourself. Even if you're dating the cutest girl in school (or even in the world itself), you have to remember that there surely a very good reason why you both are dating in the first place. Believe that there's something great in you that's visible to others. While shy guys brings out the maternal instinct in a girl (mostly) but it gets really tiring and frustrating if the guy CONSTANTLY feeling unsure of himself despite what we said. It's like the guy didn't trust our judgement/taste (and honey, if you know what's good for you.. never EVER said to a girl, she has bad taste).
2ndly, I'm really sorry about your brother and your sister.. I'm glad your brother gonna be okay, as for your sister I hope you'll accept that she have gone to a better place.
I understand why your therapist said not to be near anything that reminded you of her, especially since you're so close to your sister. BUT it depends actually.. Do you date your girlfriend BECAUSE she looks like your late sister? This is a question that you have to answer yourself. If that's the case, then maybe it is a good thing that you guys broke up.. for now. Honestly, I think you need to straighten up your personal life and thoughts first before you start to have any relationship. Try to think what YOU want and feel. Coz if your mind is preoccupied with all these problems, then even if you do get her back it would be the same thing all over again.
Lastly, why do you want this girl back? was it because you really like her or because she's the cutest girl in school (not to mention she looks a lot like your sister whom I'm sure you're missing very much)? If she really really likes you, then I'm sure that she would understand when you're trying to explain on why you couldn't give her your full attention. But if she didn't even want to listen of the reason, ask yourself 'Is she really worth it?'
My advice for your next relationship (either with this girl or whoever else), try to open up a little. Girls like it when guys trust them enough to be strong (at least emotionally). Even if you're shy and nervous, then tell her that.. admit that you're nervous, don't clam up and be distant because it would make us reflect back and doubt ourselves.
As for you wanting help to get back to her, all i can tell you is to try and explain (maybe through friend or something) but if she's still ignoring you..well, maybe you should cool it off a bit. you know.. give her and yourself time to really think.
Anyway, Good luck to you!! ^__^
2007-03-25 00:52:05 · answer #2 · answered by Criztalinz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your out of luck buddy. I feel bad for your situation, but unfortunately those are your problems not hers. Besides, telling her this would only hurt her feelings more. You couldn't go to your girlfriend when things were going bad? You didn't have a real relationship to begin with. Move on. Find another girl. And don't ever think that any smart girl will fall for an excuse, even a good one.
2007-03-25 00:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by bosco6159 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I don't buy your whole story. No therapist would tell someone to stay away from anyone who looks like someone that died!! They should help you get thru it not evade the issue. Sounds like you have way too much pain and problems in your life to worry about dating now. Take time, get your life together first. No woman wants a guy with all that morbid stuff hanging over him. You need to heal first.
2007-03-25 00:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either she forgives you or she doesn't, sweetie. If she is unwilling to listen to your explanation, then I would have to think she doesn't have enough feelings invested in your relationship for you to put a lot of effort into repairing it. I hate to break bad news to you, but I think it best to be honest with you. Let her go, and move on to someone who will cherish the sweet kind of guy that you are. Good Luck!
2007-03-25 00:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by angelajunkins 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u seem pretty young. i will say a prayer for you. maybe you could concentrate on just being her friend. which makes sense, since the fact that you liked her is probably the reason why you want to be ina relationsip with her.
talking and communication is the key to any good relationship. start there. also don't be so quick to get hooked on this girl. there is probably someone better waiting for you.
2007-03-25 00:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by girlygirl29 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to be in counseling to work out some of these issues because it sounds like you took it really hard and you need to discuss this since this incorporates family trauma as well. You'll begin to feel better talking to someone about what's going on.
2007-03-25 00:40:53 · answer #7 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see where your coming from, but if you thought of her as a real girlfriend this should of been the time you needed her most. If you can't include her in your hours of need... then maybe you really don't need her?Learn to let someone you care about be there for you. I'm sorry for all your sorrows.
2007-03-25 00:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by beebee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wont listen, move on. But you must move on to you have to face whatever causes you to withdraw or you will keep loosing your girlfriends. You need to find another therapist. because he is giving you wrong info. If she don't listen,then that means there was nothing there in the first place.
2007-03-25 00:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by pamela r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, even if you told her all those things, it kind of sounds "made up." You have to giver her one or two good solid reasons. Maybe she just wasn't that into you and is using that as an excuse too. Wait it out. If it's meant to be, IT WILL BE!!! Good luck love.
2007-03-25 00:22:48 · answer #10 · answered by ~Crystal~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋