Is my 2 year old taking advantage of me?

Question

This drives me crazy!! He pushes me around and only listens when I reach the verge of blowing a fuse! He does not do this with my husband (his father). What can I do to let him know I MEAN BUSINESS. The latest thing is when I put him to bed he waits for as long as 45 minutes and then comes out of his room saying he pooped. Sometimes he pulls this stunt as many as 3 times in one night. I mean...he must really strain to poop b/c there isn't much there to change. Do I change him once and then after that let him sleep in it? I would feel bad but I don't want him taking advantage of me. I have tried making him go potty before he goes to bed...after he poops when I lay him down...I am at my wits end. Any advice?

Answer 1

It sounds like he is intentionally pushing you to see how far he can go. This is very typical in a two year old, however I know this doesn't make you feel any better. If he is old enough to poop himself intentionally I would make him clean himself and let him know that you will not be willing to tolerate his behavior. Once he learns that you mean business his behavior will stop.

Answer 2

Not to make you feel bad but my 5 yr old daughter does this to me to this day. Now that she uses the bathroom on her own she gets up from bed , poops and then wanders around the house whining she isn't ready to go to sleep yet. The ONLY thing I have found that will work on occasion is telling her I will let her do "something" the next day if she goes to bed and behaves. It's usually going to the park or over to grandma's or arts & crafts. Just something that they really love to do, it does help but there are times when they are just little buggers and nothing will stop them, lol. Just be patient and breathe deep, they will outgrow it when they are 50 we hope ;o)

Answer 3

Two year olds are learning to become independant. They try our last nerve. Remember this is a two year old. You are the adult. Try the "naughty step" when he disobeys. If he gets up put him right back. One minute is enough time. Follow through every time will show him you mean business. It's a pain but he's only two. Think about how he will be as a teenager if you don't show him who the child is and who the mommy is. Nanny 911 and super nanny are great shows that give great advise. ABC and FOX.

Answer 4

Welcome to the terrible twos. First piece of advice is to try to remain CALM at all times. It's 10000x harder to do than to say and I know exactly how you feel, but your son's goal is to see how far he can push you. Kids love attention, both good and bad and they’ll do anything to get it. If you get a handle on him now, you'll be better off in the long run. Trying to stay calm is the first step. A lot of people think that this kind of behavior is a phase and that their child will grow. All that ends up happening is that that 2yr old who knows how to push their buttons grows to be that 3yr old who knows how to push their buttons, to that 4yr and so on until someone decides to fix the problem.
How does your son feel about the doctor? I know my boys hated going to the doctor, but whenever they continued to do something that would hurt themselves to get my attention, I would threaten to take them. You'll probably have to take him anyway if he keeps up this kind of behavior, but use it as a threat. Tell him, "Little boys shouldn't be pooping this many times when they're supposed to be sleeping. I might have to take you to the doctor if this keeps happening.” If that doesn't work, go out and buy cheap underwear/pull-ups. Before putting him to bed, put him on the potty. Tell him "If you're a big enough boy to tell me when you've pooped, then you're big enough to tell me when you need to go potty." Put the underwear/pull-ups on and put him on the potty, then put him in bed. If he tells you he's pooped in the middle of the night, don't get up right away. Give him an hour to three hours. It's much more uncomfortable to sit in dirty underwear/pull-ups than a diaper. Don't tell him "If you stop doing this we can ____ tomorrow." This puts him incharge. He shouldn't be rewarded for doing something unacceptable.
As for pushing you around, you need a punishment for not listening. At 2, taking time away is said to be the most effective. Idea's such as going to bed earlier and sitting in time out may work. Every time he doesn't listen, put him in time out for 2-5 minutes then try again. If he continues not to listen, put him back in time out. My boys were never into time outs so I always took away toys when they didn't listen. To get them back, they had t to get 5 stickers on a sticker chart, 1 for every time they listened. It didn’t work right away, as it may not with your son. I went to the point with my middle one where he didn't have anything to play with for a couple days until he started to listen. Another time with my oldest, I told him to get his shoes on to leave, but he refused. I set the house alarm and walked outside. He then decided he wanted to listen, got up to get his shoes and set the house alarm off. Sometimes you have to be the bad guy to get them to understand. It doesn’t make you a bad person, just a good mother.
The best advice I can tell you is to remain calm, stay firm and follow through. Don't give in because he starts throwing a fit. He will out grow this behavior if you're determined to fix it, and it seems like you are. You're a great mom and you'll get through to him. Best of Luck! =]