My son will be turning three in May and I want to start working full time. But day care has been an obstacle for me since my son does not want to even know about it...not because he doesnt like it...but because he is so attached to me that the moment he dosent see me he FREAKS OUT! The doctor says that he is so attacted to me that he feels that when he dosent see me I wont ever come back. But how do I change this? Daycare is expensive and I cant afford to "try it out" for a month or two without having an income? How can I prepare him to let loose and have fun without me. I want him to play with other kids without holding mommys hand. How do I make him understand that its okay to trust others. He also doesnt like anyone taking him to the potty except me...not even his daddy or grandma...only mommy....what should I do. I am in desperate need of help!!
2007-03-24 17:09:00 · 8 answers · asked by babinalinda 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Okay well how about this...you find someone who has a child the same age and goes to the daycare you want to send him to and set up a play date so he wont be going there and not know anyone if he knows someone it is possible he may not freak out if he has someone to play with.
2007-03-24 17:14:39 · answer #1 · answered by confusedguy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find someone you trust who is willing to help you & him adjust to the idea. Ask that person to babysit for 15-20 minutes while you run an errand. Do that a few times a week, for longer periods each time. Then when it's time for day care, remind him of the time he spent with that person and that you always came back. Warn the day care staff that he might have a rough start. But when the time comes, drop him off, remind him that you'll be back, kiss him, and GO. Don't let him control the situation- at 3 years old he is capable of knowing what he's doing and what you're telling him. As for the bathroom thing- if he has to go bad enough and you're no where to be seen, he'll find a way.
Good luck!
2007-03-25 21:35:17 · answer #2 · answered by eallison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him before he goes to daycare.. talk to him all the way there while driving. Tell him that it will be ok and that you will be back to get him.
As soon as he has been there awhile he will learn the routine. Eventually he will know that after nap is snack time then play time then mommy will be there.
It is totally normal for a three year old to go through separation anxiety. The best thing you can do is tell him that you love him and pass him off to his caregiver. I am sure as soon as you are out of sight he is fine. And if he has a good caregiver he will trust her.. If there is more than one caregiver in the classroom when he becomes more adjusted you can give him a choice on who he wants to go to when you drop him off.
I hope this helped a little.
2007-03-25 00:21:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is attached to me too & started preschool about the same age as yours. We visited her school (ask if yours will let you do this) and we took a tour. She got to sit in with one class & started playing. I left the room for a few min. and she was fine. If you want, you can try doing activities like free library readings (toddler/preschool reading/activitiy hour) with him so he'll see other kids & do "school-like" activities, then have someone watch him for an hour or two at home while you run an errand or relax. That way you can slowly wean him off you. And the best thing is don't let goodbyes linger. Just hug/kiss & see you later. He will get used to it & eventually love school!
2007-03-25 00:26:40 · answer #4 · answered by audrey_ariana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to daycare and give him a kiss and a hug and assure him you will be back. He is going to cry for days...maybe even a week or more...my daughter cried the entire first week she was in day care. You just have to leave him and don't give in. Eventually with you coming to pick him up everyday he will get used to the idea. By the 2nd Monday in day care my daughter was fine. I went to pick her up and she tried to shove me out the door telling me to "go home" because she had started playing with the other kids and it was fun. After that I had no problems.
YOU simply have to be consistent and don't give in.
2007-03-25 06:48:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU WILL BE SUPRISED AT HOW RESILANT CHILDREN ARE. AS WELL AS HOW MANIPULATIVE THEY CAN BE, THEY ARE CARNAL BY NATURE.
TAKE HIM TO DAY CARE DROP HIM OFF AND LEAVE. DO NOT TURN BACK, DO NOT SPEND TIME KISSING AND BYE BYE I'LL BE BACK I PROMISE. COMMING IN CRYING. JUST TAKE HIM IN. SWIPE YOUR CARD TELL HIM YOU WILL BE BACK , HAND HIM TO DAY CARE WORKER AND WALK AWAY. CRY ALL YOU WANT ON THE WAY TO WORK. DON'T LET HIM KNOW YOU ARE BOTHERED BY IT. IT TAKES KIDS ONLY A FEW DAYS TO GET USE TO DAY CARE WORST I EVER SAW WAS ABOUT 3 WEEKS. HE WILL GET OVER IT IT WILL NOT TRAMATISE HIM.
WHAT IS THIS ABOUT HE WON'T "LET" ANYONE ELSE TAKE HIM POTTY? UHM IF YOU DON'T HAVE CONTROLE AT THREE WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AT FIFTEEN OR SIXTEEN? HE NEEDS TO LEARN THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING IN HIS LIFE AND AT THREE HE CAN START BEING A LITTLE MORE INDEPENDANT.
2007-03-25 00:20:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you do it in baby steps? Take him to some sort of class where you can drop him off - art, dance, gym.
At the first class, maybe you stay and watch a little bit. At the second class, tell him you will be back when class is done. Tell him good-bye, kiss him and leave.
2007-03-25 00:13:22 · answer #7 · answered by sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do it
dont give him a choice just go
tell him you'll be back, give him a kiss and leave
he'll eventually stop crying and go play
he'll never get unattached if you dont make him
2007-03-25 00:13:56 · answer #8 · answered by squeaker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋