Ever had enough that you just want to scream????

Question

I could go on and on with this one, but tonight I really just want to scream. I went on my day that I was suppose to have off, to make sure my grandma was alright. I take care of her, and it is hard to have someone come in that doesn't know her quirks. To make matters worse it was my brother who was suppose to be there. I went to make sure she had her blood sugar taken and a shot if needed. He tells me he is going to run to take his girlfriends baby to her dads house and would be right back. I finally got ahold of him at 8p.m after being there for 4 hours waiting for him to come right back. He lets me know he stopped to play some cards and just wasn't sure when he would be back. I don't like to leave her alone, for fear she might fall. I go to school full-time, I have a five year-old girl, that only I take care of, then my grandma. I am just about at my end. I had to get my little one home to get her in the bath so she could be ready for Sunday school. Read more additional details

Any way, I called my mom to see if she would want to come up and stay, and it wouldn't of been such a big deal if I had planned on it, or been told. She (mom) then in a way goes off on me because I messed up her night. I don't get it. I do, and do, but noone seems to see it. What should I do? I just got home, after waiting 3 more hours to hear back from my mom. I just want to scream, what can I do??????? How should I handle things? And just so everyone knows, I'm the one who gets ran over because I don't want to hurt everyone's feelings. Thanks for your time in reading this, and any real advice would help so much

Answer 1

families arem meant to drive you insane. This is their reason for existing.

At least this is what I find myself telling myself time and time again.

Answer 2

Your family needs to take more responsibility and they won't if you are going to "check on things" all the time. What would your brother have done if you hadn't stopped in? What would your Mother have done to your brother if she found your Grandma alone? Maybe you should look into hiring someone to help you get some time off. Then tell your family they have to split the bill since you can't trust them to be there when they say they will. You are entitled to a couple of days off a week. And you should take them! Caring for an elderly family member is hard work, they should be grateful you have stepped up to the plate. Good luck

Answer 3

So, you'll feel responsible if something happens to your grandma on your brothers shift? What would have happened if you didn't go? It would be your BROTHERS fault. Not yours. Remind them that you have a 5 yr. old that only has you. What happens to her if you can't deal with everything anymore? Put her first, and let everyone know this. Turn the tables on them, ask them what they're prepared to do for you and your daughter if you become ill. Who will take responsibility then? You're a mother first. Don't feel guilty about it. It's the way it was meant to be, it's the way it SHOULD be.
As for screaming...do it. In a pillow so you don't disturb or scare your daughter. Do it as often as you need to: you'll be surprised how much better you'll feel. One more thing, give yourself a break. You are only one person...remind your dopey brother of that. They know you'll be there for your grandma, that's why they feel like they can shirk their commitments to her....you'll be there.

Answer 4

all great ideas. if you had to go home to get your daughter in bed you should have demanded your brother quit playing cards, remind him he said he would be right back. He failed to keep his promise, tell him you have important things to do. If he wants to go play cards or have a night out to let you know so you can plan and get your daughter (his niece) proper care.
as for your mom, she should have been happy and understanding about the problem and then take her frustration out on your brother.

Remember though that your brother may have needed that break. I do not know the full ins and outs of the situation but if he is the one who spends most of the time looking after your gran then he needed a break for some personal time. if he is not there that often then he should have been there.

next time this happens (as i'm sure it will), help your gran into bed, tell her you feel that she may fall if left alone, but you have to get back home to bath your daughter. she may not like being helped to bed that early but better that than her risking a fall.
You then explain to your gran if she has a problem with being helped in to bed that early, tell her to talk to your brother who was supposed to be there for her.
Next time your brother wants to do the same thing again, say "sorry I havce to go now I only popped in to say hi, I can drop the kid off if you want on my way" your brother will be shocked you are standing up for your rights. as he may be using the excuse of the child to get out of the house so he can go feed his gambling adiction.

good luck. and i think everyone feels like shouting and screaming (though a guy may not scream like a girl, he will normally hit something or someone instead)

Answer 5

You are in the same situation i am i go to school full time help take care of a 12 yr old im in the process fo moving and i help take care of my fiancees grandpa his wife of fifty eight years passed away it has been a total nightmare. We feel so stuck all i do is pray about it and hope the grace of god sees us through you should do the same you are in whats called the sandwich generation taking care of a kid and taking care of an elderly person and it is depressing frustrating and exhausting good luck and god bless

Answer 6

It sounds to me like your Grandmother probably needs a little more care than anyone can dedicate the time to give her. Could you possibly get your family together to see about putting her in a nursing home, or at least hiring a nurse to come in to check on her? At least that way you could still visit, but not feel like the sole caregiver? I know it is hard, but the more you keep taking care of things, the more your family will rely on you to do it and it will get more demanding on your time than less! Trust me, I know. Best of luck and take care. I am sure your Grandmother knows how much you love her and appreciates all you do!

Answer 7

I was caring for my nan for about 2 years and i came close to screaming a lot!
Your family are not being fair to you,Here is what i would do(and did)
Phone your mum tell her your taking a weeks break from your nan,before you explode.
She wont like it but they will have to sort your nan out,the only reason your brother played cards was cause he knew you would wait and be there for your nan! Dont let them treat you like this. After your weeks rest tell them about the changes that will be happening.
Make some up so you get some YOU TIME.
Good luck,you should be proud of yourself for what your doing.

Answer 8

Wow, talk about inconsiderate... Your brother and mother are quite a pair! I'm sorry they took advantage of you like that and put your grandmother in the middle. I often feel like I need to scream, but it's usually over minor stuff compared to this. :(

I hope your situation improves and I hope that your family realizes how selfish they're behaving. Best of luck.

Answer 9

Honey I can't give you any more smarts because I see you've got enough to smell what's been cooking. What I can do is help provide the brains that others so desperately need.

QUICHE JenE
Beat six eggs. Pour beaten eggs into one ready to bake single pie crust. Into one half pound of diced okra mix one half cup of pork brains and add them to pie. Add one dash of salt and another single shake of pepper. Bake at 350 for twenty minutes or until eggs have hardened. Notify your brother you've got something he can share with his card playing friends.

Answer 10

Cinderella, take a break.
and next time scream only when your excited.
mayb just sod em for a while and do what you need to for yourself, im sure nothing too bad the way you feel is going to happen.

Answer 11

seems to me like you are so afraid of hurting other people you forget about u,....u hate bothering people so you deal with it yourself and all this causes you is amger and frustration...i dont think your family intend on making you feel this way but the fact is they do...write them a letter or have a talk to them....you cant go on any longer..if it does your gunna burst and its going to be worse when it all comes out!