Should I stay with my boyfriend?

Question

OK here's the deal.
I've been with my bf for 3.5 years and I love him dearly, but Ive been through some hard times these past few months. (A LOT of family issues). I also moved in with him about 6 months ago. Everything he does lately annoys me greatly and I dont want to have sex with him.(I do want it just not with him : /) Im a junior in college and he is my first serious boyfriend. I just dont know what to do. Ill joke around with him about him being a jerk and he just says "then why are you still with me." He loves me and has never done anything bad to me but I just cant see myself with or without him.
I dont know what to do :(
What do you sugest?

Answer 1

What I recommend is thoroughly thinking about all the family problems first and getting it out of your system. Sometimes when you have stress somewhere else, it will reflect on your relationship with someone else that is completely uninvolved. Figure out your problems first and if you are still frustrated with him, then let him know and talk about it. He needs to listen to you and you definitely need to be heard or else the situation will worsen.

Answer 2

You sound rather busy. You certainly need some time to yourself to find out what you want. Many people make the mistake of moving in together without considering the consequences.
This is one of the reasons God designed marriage the way he did. It protects you from being just exactly where you are right now. Frustrated and confused and probably thinking of cheating or breaking up (if you'll admit it).
I read a book once (even before I became a christian) and in it, it said that people will get all caught up in the "physical" relationship and then when the true personalities come out and a persons' idiosyncracies come about they get too irriatated because the actual commitment isn't really there.
You are boyfriend and girlfriend and when you see something you don't like about the other person it destroys the sex, plain and simple. When you are married to a person because you've made the commitment theres something inside that moves over to allow the other person to be who they are. You adjust, yell at each other, laugh about it and go make passionate love all in the same afternoon.
Just remember without communicating honestly about the CHANGES going on in you, your bf doesn't have a clue; except that your calling him a jerk because something he did irritated YOU.
All the things you say that annoy you could be from all the other stuff you've had to deal with regarding the "family issues." And your just picking on him to relieve what you've had to handle with all of them. Don't take it out on the bf, just get some perspective. Either that or you're afraid of how to break it off.? Just food for thought. I know !!! Start asking your heavenly Father for some answers and see what you get.

Answer 3

Have a serious talk with him and sit himd own. Explain your feelings and maybe you two just need some time appart and it was too soon for yall to move into gether. Try taking a break for a week, or even a weekend, from each other and see how you feel. If you miss him like crazy, then yeah stay with him! If not, and you find you are having way more fun with out him and didnt event hink much about him, then you should problebly consider breaking up with him or trying a new approach to the realtionship.

Answer 4

If you not planning on doing anything then i dont really know why you wanna stay over so bad. But anyway i think f your not gonna do anything then your boyfriend should talk to his parents and get them to phoe your mum and dad and assure them you will be in seperate beds and they will be making sure nothing happens. This will mean they will be more liekly to trust you but i still think they might say no. Personally if i was your parent i think i would say no because from experience i know that its easy to say nothing will happen but you'll be sneaking into each others beds in no time at all.

Answer 5

All relationships have good times and bad. It sounds like your not ready to make a desision. But you are thinking about it. You should think about it before you do something you regret later on. All guys are a pain in the neck at times. You either get through it or you won't. Honey no one can really tell you what to do with this. Your going to do what you think is good opition for you. Either way there is good and bad in that sort of situation. Best of luck.

Answer 6

It's unlikely that not having sex is the real problem. When couples stop having sex, there's usually an underlying reason. In this case, it obviously represents the general distaste you've grown for him. Quit staying with him out of convenience and find a new guy.

Answer 7

first of all, you are a junior in college! I've been out of college since 2001 and i look back at those times as the most adventurous and fun times. you can do anything you want with your life right now. you can go anywhere you want! if you are not married and have no kids then move out and start seeing other people and start enjoying your time in life. you don't want to resent him years from now because you ended up staying with him out of fear of loneliness.
time to move on.

Answer 8

well its all really up to how u relly feel. think about how ur life would be without him, and if ur more happy and complete then leave him, u might be afraid to let go b.c ur so attachted to him so mayeb having some time off by urself and not talking to him at all can sort out ur feelings better. i know u love him a lot b.c i love my bf too and we;ve been together years too, and its hard to let go but if u relly have to...remember that there is always something better out there waiting for u.

Answer 9

When you move in with a boyfriend his true colors come out. You soon discover things about him you don't like. In all honesty this is normal in every relationship. I know married people who can't stand each other, but know one's perfect. If you get in a relationship with someone else and move in with them trust me the same s*** is going to happen, but a different day. C'mon is he really that bad. We all have our flaws and nobody is perfect. You need to speak up and let him know how you feel and how you both can make it better. Relationships are about communication, compromising and sacrifices.

Answer 10

If you don't want to be with him (i.e. enjoy his company, have sex every now and then, etc.) you should move on before you or he gets hurt worse. however, if you've been having a stressful time due to family problems, make sure you're acting on your feelings about him, and not just feeling some depression or distraction. you might need to take some time away from him to figure this out.