My grandma passed away, whom I was not particularly close with, although my dad wishes I was. Now, my questions is, is it rude for me not to attend the funeral, even though I am 6 flying hours away. I get the feeling my family is trying to make me feel guilty, but I don't know what to do. I want to support my dad during this time, but I can't make it to the funeral for financial reasons.
2007-03-24 16:39:42 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Tell your father that you would really like to be there but you don't have the money to travel. Perhaps he or some other family will buy your ticket.
Sorry for your loss.
2007-03-25 00:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by beckini 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm. Someday in the near future I'm sure I will be in this same situation, as all my grandparens live in CA, and I live in GA. Two of them I'm not close with either, but that won't stop me from feeling guilty when they pass..but we are broke, too, plus I have a young son for whom a 6 hr plane ride would be pure torture/boredom. Can you be sick for the funeral. you know, plan to go, and then like, have a stomach virus or food poisoning? Can you get your dad to pay for your ticket?
2007-03-28 19:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by mandygirl78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lyllyan is right...your dad needs to know you are concerned for him and sympathize with his loss, but he also must understand your financial situation. Funerals ARE for the living. The dead are already gone and don't care. You're not being rude by not attending this funeral. And, your dad will get past this.
2007-03-24 23:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by Kathleen W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand totally, my grandmother passed away 3 months ago, it was a huge financial burden for me to buy 3 plane tickets, but like someone said, funerals are for the living, so I went, for my mothers sake. It meant a lot to her that my family was there to support her during her time of mourning.
Make the extra effort to get there for your dad, you'll be glad that you did.
Good Luck!
2007-03-24 23:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by Lottalady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funerals are for the living, not the dead. It would mean a lot to your Dad for you to be there, but if you cannot because of financial concerns, then make sure he knows he has your sympathy and support, but you just cannot afford to come out.
2007-03-24 23:44:32 · answer #5 · answered by lyllyan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell your dad why you wont be able to attend he should understand. When my grandma passed away she had money set aside to pay for airline tickets and accommodations for all of her kids and grand kids to attend her funeral. I think your grandma would understand too.
2007-03-25 07:31:36 · answer #6 · answered by cweetepye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your dad and explain to him that although you are sorry for the loss of his mother, that you do not have the funds to allow you to fly out. Sometimes airlines will give free or discount airfair, but I believe you have to have a death certificate to prove this.
2007-03-24 23:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your finances are constrained and you were not close, then it is not unreasonable for you to stay home.
Send flowers to the funeral or all hell will break loose.
2007-03-25 10:58:44 · answer #8 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really, really did not like my grandmother. When she died, however, I went to the funeral out of respect to my father. It was his mother, not mine. He was sad, not me. I needed to be there to support him.
If there is any possible way you can scrape together the money to get there, please do it. If you have to ask your father for help for the air fare, please do it. You won't regret going, you would regret not going.
Good luck.
2007-03-24 23:50:01 · answer #9 · answered by aivilo 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Try to be there. Paying your respects is a good thing to do when possible
2007-03-24 23:48:33 · answer #10 · answered by Jeana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋