It is killing me. My moms house is a total mess! You can't see her furniture, loaded up, a path in the livingroom, clothes & junk, all 3 bedrooms are packed to the hilt! Clothes hanging from the door jams, can't see her kitchen table, or chairs, or counters, a path to the sink if ya don't fall, chairs loaded up, the floors are packed, can't get in the basement, just a small path to the washer & dryer, she has 5 kids, won't let anyone in or help her. I am her closes daughter & today she wouldn't let me do anything, had excuses "nope I am looking for papers" "I will get to it" she doesn't go out or drink, tears garbage up in little tiney pieces, half to walk sideways to get into the 1/2 bathroom. It is sickening & I fear she will trip. This is part of my anxiety, I love her but she gets mad at me. Throws nothing out, won't turn any lights on in the dark so the neighbors don't see her. Dad died 1996 & his stuff still in the house. Won't see a Dr. She is a very dear person to me.
2007-03-24 16:11:29 · 9 answers · asked by pinky 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Find out if there is something special she would really like to have. If she can't afford it, suggest you have a yard sale to raise the money. Maybe she would let you get rid of some stuff that way.If it works, maybe she would do it again.
2007-03-24 16:23:05 · answer #1 · answered by DOT 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree with KH here! There are certainly more issues to her than just the cluttered mess. I have heard that that way your house looks, usually portrays the way you feel in life so this could say a lot about your mom. My mother sounds very similar to yours. I have tried to help her clean but she has grown so much sentimental attachment to odd things from her parents who have died and old memories with things, its impossible to progress with anything. It is hard for her to move forward without her feeling guilty about getting rid of things. My mom however is not ashamed of her mess like your mother seems to be. Tell your mom to get some thick curtains on the windows and turn those lights on and start doing a little bit at a time each day. Maybe start with one corner of a room. If her material possesions are valuable and sentimental to her, take pictures of them and donate/sell everything that does not serve a purpose or have a function. Also gently inform her that when she dies, you and your siblings will not know what is most important for them to keep of hers unless she goes through it with you and shares the heritage or meaning behind it. She could have a true obsessive compulsive disorder where she cant part with anything because she is afraid of missing it or needing it. If this is the case, she will certainly need therapy if she wants to live a life that she does not feel ashamed of. good luck with your situation!
2007-03-24 17:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by Justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just start doing it for her even if she objects. My dad is the exact same way, and we have many rooms like what you described, and my mom waits untill he goes out of town and then gets rid of various piles and cleans, and he doesn't notice that they're gone.
You also might look at what might be making her such a packrat. You said that she still keeps your dad's stuff around, so maybe she doesn't throw anything away because it has something to do with your dad's death that she's not yet dealt with. I strongly suggest that you and your brothers and sisters talk to her and get her to see someone because I think a lot of it is pschological based (and it sounds like you do too).
And if none of that works, you may just have to wait until she gets hurt or something happens. I'm not wishing your mother ill, or cursing her house, but sometimes that's the only way people see that the things they're doing are bad for them and others.
2007-03-24 16:24:38 · answer #3 · answered by dancerhelen2006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has a condition, it's a form of post depression I seen it on Oprah. She can't throw things away because she is afraid of change. She wants to keep things the way they were, pre-husband if you know what I mean. If she cleans the house she is forced to move on. If the house is she clean she has to be like now what, I have to do something else that I haven't before. If the house is messy its like oh I have things to do if I want so I don't have to look for anything to do.
2007-03-24 17:54:11 · answer #4 · answered by vsexygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to see a psychologist- she has an attachment to "things" because they make her feel secure. I'd say severe depression, and perhaps another thing, but really, this kind of stuff has psychology that is attached to it.
Before talking about her "stuff" I would talk about her "life" which would lead to her "stuff."
2007-03-24 16:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by K H 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get rent storage unit. Get serious with her start moving stuff out yourslef, so then she gets the point
2007-03-24 16:17:13 · answer #6 · answered by Kenster102.5 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
CLEAN IT UP! did i read there are kids in the house? that could be a severe fire danger, and a fine could be placed.
2007-03-24 16:20:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call the "Clean Sweep" show on TLC.
2007-03-24 16:28:20 · answer #8 · answered by Cathy S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to call that show called clean house, with star jones, they sell your stuff and then clean your house
2007-03-24 16:14:22 · answer #9 · answered by ya girl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋