Future In-Law Problem!!?

Question

Ok, I'm getting married in September and I have a problem with my future cousin-in-law. She's a hair dresser. She offered to do my hair but I'm going to do my own hair. Which was fine. My future sister-in-law wants her to do her hair though. The problem is, she's a *****! I don't like her at all! She has come to me several times and asked me about my plans for the wedding. I tell her and she critisizes me. She told me that my dress looked like waded up toliet paper. I don't want her in my dressing room on my wedding day. I'm sure that if she's back there she's going to piss me off. I'm doing everyone elses hair for the wedding and I know that she's going to come back there and try to take over. That's the kind of person that she is. How do I tell her and my furture sister-in-law that I don't want her back there with out making a big deal out of it and hurting peoples feelings. I just know that she will make a big fuss over it. I just don't know what to do?!

Answer 1

Have your fiance talk to your sister-in-law and tell her - "look, would you mind if my girl does your hair instead of our cousin? i know you wanted her to do your hair but it would really mean alot to my girl if you let her do it - she really wants to be like a real sister to you. She's a little hurt she feels like you don't trust her with your hair." He should help you deal with her - if you have a problem between you and a famly member of his - it's HIS responsibility to help you negotiate it - just like it woud be YOUR responsbility to help if he had a problem with YOUR mom or sister..

If she DOES somehow end up back there with you - tell her - or have another bridesmaid tell her - "OMG i really need your help - since you want to help so much - can you go pick up ___ and take it to ___ ??" Or - if she's looking at someone' hair and says "ew this should be curly and down not straight and up" just tell her " you know that's a great idea! why don't you go and buy the curlers and hair spray? " either she'll get too lazy and she'll back down - or she will go and then you get her out of the way and leave before she gets back.

Whatever you do - don't let her be back there - you're right - she will just piss you off and ruin your day - and you will just resent her that much more every time you have to run into her at family functions..

Answer 2

Simple...make it clear who YOU DO want back there. Maybe its just you and mom and one other bridesmaid...then thats it. Put the groomsmen on the watch to keep all others out (so that the groom doesn't accidentally see you---make sure one groomsman you can trust knows the real deal). A cousin shouldn't be able to make this much trouble....sister inlaws maybe...but cousins are too far down the food chain. Why do you answer her straight? If she is so hyper critical about things (probably jealous or immature) why not just give an answer, any answer....but no information.... keep smiling.... her opinion is none of your business.... remember if you are making her unhappy, you are probably doing something right. Let her spout, the rest of the family already knows the source....I doubt they give her much merit. Keep in mind too that some people just lack diplomacy, tact and class. If she spews off the first thing that comes to mind, like your dress looks like toilet paper, she is obviously got some wires that are a little short.... unless you have to live with her, who cares? let her be opinionated, stop giving her any ammunition, only tell her about things that wont upset you..... so expect her comments to be criticisms... play dumb assume the best in her and it will turn itself around...

Answer 3

I wouldn't tell her.

Trust me, issues with the in-laws aren't good.

Here's what I would do: hire a hair dresser. I'm not sure if that's in your budget now, but hair dresses are relatively inexpensive. Plus, I think you'll agree that it's worth the 50 bucks not to deal with your future cousin in law on your wedding day. Tell all your bridemaids that you've hired a hair dresser. That way, all of the bridemaids' hair styles look similar. The hair dresser might also be able to do makeup, as an added bonus. I doubt that any of your bridesmaids will say no to a free wedding day makeover. If your cousin-in-law gets upset, tell her you wanted a hair dresser for yourself and you figured you'd have the hair dresser do everyone else's hair because it was so cheap. If she's still upset, just tell her that you wanted her to enjoy the wedding as a guest without having to do work on the wedding day. I don't think there's any way she can come back with a b*tchy remark to that!

Answer 4

Unfortunately, when you marry a guy, you also marry his family. try to find other ways to get them involved. If they are bothering you in the dressing room, tell them that you are worried the florist messed up the order and ask them to go check on the flowers, or ask them to check to see if the groom and his party are on time. Make them feel like they are important while getting them away from you too. Also, let your cousin-in-law do your sister in law's hair. As long as it's not your hair...you're the one who everyone is going to be looking at. Try setting up a special space for your cousin to do your sister's hair in another room, away from you while you do your hair. There are definitely ways to keep them out of your hair without hurting their feelings. Good luck and congrats

Answer 5

I would blame it on nerves. Tell them it's fine to do their hair together, but you want to be alone with your closer friends and family before the ceremony. Or find a project for them to oversee and keep them busy if possible. That sucks that they are putting you down so much.
Some people don't know how to take a hint though. You may have to come out and tell her you don't appreciate her criticizing your wedding plans so much. Remind them that this is YOUR day. Good luck

Answer 6

Be very clear beforehand who you want with you getting ready on your wedding day, also make sure the other people know. If your still worried about it, have people on lookout and if she tries to come back have one of them politely tell her, "The bride doesn't want to be crowded and would appreciate her space this morning/ she wants to share these last moments with just her attendants.."

As for having her do the other sister's hair, just have them do it in a separate space or beforehand, so as not to crowd the fact that youll be doing hair too!

Answer 7

Let her do your sister in laws hair BEFORE she gets to the church. You can do everyone elses and the cousin in law won't have to be around. Do not let this witch upset you on your wedding day. Who cares if she is offended? She is a very offensive person and deserves to be banished.

Best wishes on your wedding.

Answer 8

You need to state the deal that this is YOUR wedding and you will pick whoever you want to do your hair just because your future cousin in law is a hair dresser doesnt mean you have to use her to be your hair stylist for the wedding. I wouldnt really deal with relatives if they're trying to dictate who's hair gets done this is yours and your fiance's day not their day.

Answer 9

Luckily because it's your wedding, you have the choices all to yourself. If your sister-in-law wants her hair done by the cousin, then tell her that because of "space and time problems" that if she would have the cousin come over to her house to do her hair it would work out a lot better. Or, insist that all the bridal party be done by yourself because you're looking for a "uniform look". If the cousin throws a fit, it will make her look like an idiot, and you look like you're being rational. Recruit your maid of honor and other bridesmaids to help coordinate this sneak attack, otherwise it won't work.

Answer 10

Arrange for a specific amount of time for you to do everyone's hair, and a specific amount of time, (and maybe) a different room for tose two to be in. Possibly even have both rooms used at the same time, and ask the wedding coordinator to keep them out of the room you and your gals are in. I wish you the best. Take care.