ok so im scared of having sex but i have alot of guy friends that think its funny when they ask why is when i change the subject something about molestation in that conversation so i get off it but then there is this guy and i know hes right and well i want to share that experience with him but well when we get close to it its like flash backs from the past and i stop it and cry so does it mean hes not the right one or am i going to die a virgin
2007-03-24 15:57:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have you had some therapy for the issue? There is no shame in seeking some help with that and sorting out your feelings so you can feel comfortable.
2007-03-24 16:00:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a girlfriend, many years ago, that had the same problem. What happened to her was she would get flashbacks while doing certain things that reminded her of the abuse. What helped is that we had a good relationship and she could talk about it, and eventually, get her mind around th fact this was no longer that situation where she was being a victim, but something she wanted to experience. The important thing is for you to be able to build that trust again.
If you can't talk about what's going on with your partner, that would seem to indicate to me that kind of trust is not completely there. So that doesn't mean you're going to die a virgin; it just means maybe it's not the right person to be with. But talk about the problem with your partner. If he's not capable of being understanding and patient, I wouldn't give him the time of day, much lest access to my intimacy.
Cheers. Best of Luck to you.
:)
2007-03-24 23:04:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? You should wait until you and whatever guy love each other unconditionally. Guys don't know what they love until their 30 anyway. Not to say you should go looking for an older guy...
You need to talk to a therapist about getting over the molestation. If you keep getting flashbacks, you are definitely not ready to let that part of you go. Self preservation, girl!
2007-03-24 23:03:39 · answer #3 · answered by Xpensive 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jessica, sweetie the main thing is to wait until the time is 100% right for you in your mind, spirit, and soul!! Second thing is you may need to talk to someone to work threw having such a thing happen to you in your life.. I hope you can get threw this but I will tell you from experience if you make sure you love the person you decide to share this special moment with and not just sahre it with someone you are lusting for you will never regret it...
2007-03-24 23:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jazzie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel like everyone deals with molestation in different ways , I also deal with that and I do not have a problem with sex ( I love sex with my husband) but I do not feel comfortable with anyone else.I feel like when you get comfortable with the right guy you will be fine. I hope everything works out for you.
2007-03-24 23:05:58 · answer #5 · answered by bumpie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day you will learn to get past the trauma in your life but for now make sure to follow your body's instincts. If it feels uncomfortabe I wouldn't pursue an intimate interaction. If and when you are with the right man, i'm sure you probably will find that you are able to be intimate with none of those unpleasant feeling accompanying you.
2007-03-24 23:05:44 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it doesnt mean that he's not right...it just means that your past is preventing you from doing some stuff because you were hurt very badly. i highly doubt you will die a virgin. just explain to him, and if he really likes you then he will understand...don't have sex with him if your not going out with him though
2007-03-24 23:04:10 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think so. i think it's just a sign you're just not ready yet. When you're ready you'll know and you'll be glad you waited. Just give it some time and you'll get there. Everyone does at different times
2007-03-24 23:02:28 · answer #8 · answered by blessed mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't mean either thing. I suggest you get some help from a counselor to deal with your past problem.
2007-03-24 23:01:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you were abused when you were little and you need to share with someone maybe you should talk to a counselor... think about it b4 you share with this boy yoiu dont know how he moght react and who he might tell ..
2007-03-24 23:03:29 · answer #10 · answered by fcukn princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋