I am meeting my now ex-girlfriend today to make peace. She cheated and was terrible to me, but I think we both want to be nice and make friends.
I was really good to her and gave her many things. We only went out for 4 months. Some of my friends say I should ask for things back like an Ipod I just gave her for her birthday, a really nice purse, and a really personal book we both loved.
But I don't want her to return anything, and if she brings stuff back to me today I think it will make me much more upset, and make it harder for me to be nice. I know I have to bring her ring she left at my place...and I don't want to keep any of her gifts, but I think its insensitive to give them back to her. Am I right about this? What do you think I should expect?
2007-03-24 15:19:01 · 7 answers · asked by acural7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think you have the right idea..... its gifts you gave her.... not stuff you let her borrow.... i hope everything works out for u
2007-03-24 15:23:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you on this. Gifts are gifts, and you shouldn't ask for anything that you gave to her back. (By the same token, she shouldn't ask for anything from you.) Next time, just be a little more careful about how generous you get before you're 100% sure the relationship will last. On a related subject, though, if you just let each other borrow some stuff or left it at each other's houses, then certainly swap those things. That would be a perfectly reasonable and understandable request.
Sorry about your break-up, and I think it's great that you two managed to make peace despite the messy situation. Good luck!
2007-03-24 22:42:07 · answer #2 · answered by Baron Hausenpheffer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as I'm concerned, gifts given during a relationship were given when things were good between you. There is no reason to expect gifts back, or to have to give them back, because things didn't work out between you. I mean, if you got into a fight with your mom or someone else close to you, would you ask for every gift back you ever gave them? Of course not!
The ONLY exception to this is an engagement ring. It should be returned because the ring is a symbol of a contract of sorts promising to marry. If one of you breaks the contract, then the ring goes back.
Just my opinion.
Good luck to you.
2007-03-24 22:25:40 · answer #3 · answered by Kristen K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would assume that the gifts were not conditional - so there is no reason to return gifts, or to expect gifts to be returned. The only exception is an engagement ring...as it does have a condition of acceptance.
2007-03-24 22:24:34 · answer #4 · answered by Isaac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u should not ask for your gifts back and u should keep the things she gave u.u two gave these things to each other out of caring i hope.if there's something special like the book u really love u could explain that to her, and mabe shell give it to u .cut your losses at this time and youll be better friends later. besides you'ed look silly with that purse!
2007-03-24 22:37:21 · answer #5 · answered by LOST 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating edicate 101: Dont give gifts back or expect them back from her either. I would just expect personal belongings back.
Giving back gifts is just meant to hurt the other person, and is simply mean.
2007-03-24 22:26:08 · answer #6 · answered by muse_10999 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she brings the gifts back, accept them. Sell them, trade them in on something for yourself or trash them, they're now yours to do what you want with them.
2007-03-24 22:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋