Is being 18-21 too young to marry?

Question

Im so in love with my boyfriend since we first met in 2004. We fell in love so quick but the timing was off n we finally got to date in 2006..Im never felt so in love neither has he..I ask me to marry him on Christmas week and I said yes. I gave back the ring cause I felt we were too yound and nobody would take us seriously. But doesnt age really matter??

Answer 1

If you are full of all the facts about marriage then you can make an informed decision. I recomend finding out everything you need to know about marriage and divorce from a marriage counselor or books on marriage. I recomend going away from the idealistic romance of it all and look at the hard facts. What will happen if he leaves you?
Will you have joint bank accounts? In whose name will property and assets go into?
My sister was involved with a man and she provided the main finance. When he left, her credit was ruined and she had massive debts due to his 'I'll pay you back' routine. Now she's involved with a man she wants to leave, but he controls all assets and finances. I was engaged at 17, to a 21 yr old I had known my whole life. One year in the military and he was a hardcore alcoholic who hit me. If we had been married, I would have a divorce before I was even 20!

You are marrying a 18-21 yr old? Be aware that in a few years they wont even be the same person. In that age range, you are finding out who you are, you'll go through different jobs, educational levels, some experiment with drinking or drugs and a lot of guys see it as their prime time for dating around. Being married doesn't stop them from straying. Many guys that age are used to being catered to. They want someone to do their laundry and cook, as well as a steady bed buddy. Then they come home after pulling a few hours at the local Fat burger to flop down in front of the t.v. when they are done playing games they hit the town with their buddies. You could end up a side dish to some girl he meets online. He grunts at your dinner and barely notices you unless he wants a quick roll in the hay, then its back to myspace or whatever to hit on 16yr olds. And when he leaves you, he'll tell you it's because you got fat/nagged/didn't put out enough.

Oh my, maybe you should just talk to other people your age who have been married/living together a few years. Takes the shine right off the subject for me.

Answer 2

I don't think so.. on my wedding day I will be 20 (barely) and my husband will be 21 .. I know it's now the norm to get married closer to age THIRTY than TWENTY but I also know that not too long ago almost everyone got married much younger.

18 might be cutting it too close though.. It's OK to get engaged and maybe stretch out the engagement for a while. Also, you haven't known eachother a very long time and you haven't even been together 1 year.. That is more a factor than your age.

Stay with him, try living with him first, wear the engagement ring if it feels right, but don't plan anything just yet.

You need to know what it will feel like to be with someone, and be working, going to school, etc. while your living with him. If you like it, then you'll be ok. Not alot of people are ready for that so quickly. Make sure you REALLY get to know eachother and make sure you want the same things out of life. Go through alot of pre-marital counseling.

I don't just say all this because of your age - Half of marriages fail anyway and that doesn't even show you the number of marriages that stay together but are miserable. Marriage is almost a joke these days - especially from the male perspective. Make sure he's serious and make sure he can handle the responsibility as well as you. Honestly 99% of the guys out there today I can't imagine marrying them at ANY age. My fiance isn't perfect but he's trying, he's responsible, we want the same things, and most importantly I know he has a good heart and was raised very well and respectful .
Seriously, if it wasn't for him, I would probably hate men. I already do hate most of them. lol

Answer 3

Let me say this...if the two of you thnk you could marry each other then why not date for a few more years! I mean the two of you will still be together, right? There is no reason to rush into marriage if you are truly meant to be. Alot things change for young people around the ages 18-21. I am so glad I didn't marry my last boyfriend. We felt just like that. I was 20 and he was 19. Take your time. I don't think a man is ready for marriage until around 25!

Answer 4

Well thats why its called "being engaged" You feel like you are ready to take the next step so you propose and wear the ring and continue to learn about each other.
you dont give the ring back because you think your too young. I was 15 when I got engaged and 18 when I got married. Till this day I am married. Age is just a number if you ask me, stay engaged but you both need to talk about what lies ahead. Are you planning on going to college, what about him what are his plans, because you have to work out the kinks before you take the leap. Main point your not to young to marry you just have to realize what your getting into. I say stay engaged and dont set the date yet...get to know one another and learn to compromise you will see your love will only grow stronger and you will be marrying for all the right reasons.

Answer 5

My husband was 19 and I just turned 21 when we got married. We have been married a little over a year and we are doing fine. If this is the person you want to be with than age doesn't matter. If you both think you are mature enough and act your age then go for it.

Answer 6

If you really love each other the way you say you do then getting married should not be an issue. I have a friend who is about to get marrie in 3 months and she is 21 one and she says there is nothing mor4e beautiful than joining ur life to the person you love. Who cares if no one takes you seriously remember is ur happiness and not theres.

Answer 7

Imagine this: you decide to wait. You turn 19, 20, 21, he's 24. You're still young, you still love each other. What have you gained by waiting?

Possible answers:

Nothing, you've just wasted three years not being married.

Three years of maturity, education, earning power.

It's up to you.

If you're going to grow tired of each other, or start bickering, or annoying each other all the time, or ignoring each other, that won't happen for another fifteen or twenty years, and you don't want to wait THAT long.

Answer 8

What matters is maturity and if you can take care of yourselves. If you make enough money to live on your own it is your choice but if you can not be independent then you should wait a while. You could get engaged and plan to marry in 2 or 3 years, there is nothing wrong with a long engagement.

Answer 9

Age does matter and you did the right thing. Just about every couple that I know that married young, ended up in a divorce. Just wait a few more years, or maybe ever 5-7 more years.

Answer 10

dont say ur not ready becuz other people feel ur not. when u feel ur ready then ur ready. as long as u know the kind of commitment ur getting in to. age doesnt matter. im 21 and getting married next month. would have been sooner but we wanted to finish school. if u love each other and willing to take that step dont let anyone stop u. and when u hit ur 10yr... 20 yr... 30 yr anniversary laugh at the people who said u couldnt do it.