I am Korean. I moved here when I was 5. My parents are very traditional. Of course they want me to end up with a Korean guy. No one in my family has ever married a white person. I have tried dating Asian guys, but the truth is, I have not found myself attracted to any of them. It is not that I have a problem with my own people. I think it is a beautiful culture and I have been back to my country several times and love it. It is just that, on a physical level I am not that attracted to them. Is that a problem? Whenever I date a white guy, my parents never, never find out. It would break their heart to know and i just dont know how to tell them.
2007-03-24 14:36:20 · 56 answers · asked by shelleyinthecity 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
whatever you prefer is fine...mom & dad will come around and accept the idea because they love you and want you to be happy-it just might take a little time.
2007-03-24 14:39:05 · answer #1 · answered by ICEBOX 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me, this sounds like a situation where nobody is actually "wrong". You're certainly not doing the wrong thing by following your heart, but your parents are also just doing what they believe is best for you. I can certainly see the problem, though.
Here's my advice: talk to whichever one of them you think might be more open to the whole inter-racial dating thing one day when you have them alone. Don't just bust out with, "Mom/Dad, I'm really tired of dating Asian guys, and I want to bring home a white guy!" That would be a bit too blunt :). Instead, just pose it as a hypothetical question and ask them what they would think about your dating a non-Asian. If they get hostile, remind them that it was just a hypothetical question, and then force THEM to defend their answer. Chances are they won't come up with a better answer than "just because", and that might even force them to think about their answer.
Anyway, I think if you brought up the subject little by little like that, it might make it less of a shock when you finally just tell them flat-out. Remember that above all they are still your parents, and if they're like all the parents I've ever met, their love for you will overcome any momentary disappointment when all is said and done. (Particularly if you get a top-of-the-line white boyfriend who's so great that even your parents can't object much.) Anyway, good luck, gal!
2007-03-24 14:52:10 · answer #2 · answered by Baron Hausenpheffer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Physical attraction either happens or it doesn't, so don't feel bad about being attracted to white guys. But if you don't have many Korean or Asian friends, or of any other race, perhaps you have some stereotypes common in our country. Only you can answer that question. But being honest with your parents is important, so find a way to start talking to them about your values and preferences without just dropping a bomb on them which will be hard for them to handle.
2007-03-24 14:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by Kristel W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask you parents what they would think about you dating a white guy before you start dating one. People are people, not races or cultures. Yes it is good to be with someone of similiar interests, and you have to deal with people who think you should stay within your own race, but those people are getting fewer and fewer, thank goodness. It sounds like your parents prefer the American way of life, or they would have made their home in Korea, so perhaps they would be open to your dating. By the way, there are some good looking KOreans out there, perhaps you are looking in the wrong places or perhaps a Hawaiin, or Japanese, or Chinese, or..... It is people, find a person that fits.
2007-03-24 14:43:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're not attracted to Asians then you should go to your attraction. It's only a cultural thing. You may become attracted to Asian guys as you get more mature. But go a out and look at both Asian and white boys. It's the only way to see what you do like in the long term.
2007-03-24 14:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats your own personal preference. Its not wrong to be attracted to a white male. I'm a native american female that is attracted to white males as well. I dont find native men attracted at all either, but you don't have to feel bad about your heritage. Ive been with a white man for 6 years now-we have 2 beautiful children. If anyone should be upset, it should be any man that doenst get a chance to date you :) Not your parents. They should respect your decision as a daughter and a female. Its 2007 people need to get over the race factor and concentrate on themselves and what they want in life, not what other people want for you.
2007-03-24 14:40:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really do understand what a rough question that is. I have had few partners in my life that are my race as well. It's especially tough because I know how Korean parents can be about expecting you to date another Korean. Well, SOMEONE in your family has to be the first. Just be sure to be prepared for their initial disapproval. While I can't guarantee it, my general experience is they will likely come around in time once you have a substantial relationship with someone who is not Korean. Especially if you eventually get married and give them grandchildren. Then they will very likely come around.
2007-03-24 14:41:27 · answer #7 · answered by SDTerp 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, my one of my best friends is a Korean who dates a white girl and no one cares. If your parents don't like you dating white guys just don't let them know and if they find out, oh well just tell them that your not attracted to white guys. Let them know that you live your own life and that your going to be the one who decides thing in your life. Oh and by the way I'm Korean too. Krn Pride!
2007-03-24 14:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad......
I'm an Asian guy who has interest in any kind of girl and i know what you're talking about
Parents not wanting children to marry someone other than their ethnicity
Alot of my friends have the same problem
All I have to say is hopefully if you do tell your parents your dating a white person than they will respond postively
Good Luck
2007-03-24 14:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by OneLove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since you've spent most of your life in the United States, you have probably become acclimated to the US sense of "attractive men". Its just an idea that you've grown up with, its on television, in books and magazines. Time plays funny tricks on people. Talk to your parents about it, and when you do find a serious partner, be sure that he is as respectful of your culture as you are. If not, heads will not only crash with him and your parents but between the two of you as well. Be clear with your parents that you are not dating white guys to rebel against them or to disrespect them and maybe they will understand.
2007-03-24 14:40:18 · answer #10 · answered by Heather 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm a girl that doesn't have a preference with it comes to dating men. I don't know, I just enjoy a male's company regardless of what he is.
However, I think in most families who jam traditional values down their childrens throat, it causes them to shy away.
I think before you start being honest with your parents, you should start being honest with yourself. There are many wondrful men out there, try seeing them for who they are and not for what they are.
Oh ... and about the attraction factor. Keep in mind that looks fad away as time progress. Hahaha, just a little food for thought :D
Hope that helps.
2007-03-24 14:44:01 · answer #11 · answered by rosie768 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋