My future father-in-law wont come to any of my family gatherings if my side will be there. I heard that I would would then be at the bottom of his list if I had a get-together and did not tell him they would be there. I'm afraid this could strain my relationship with future husband.
2007-03-24 13:58:55 · 8 answers · asked by sara 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes, you should resolve it NOW! You marry the family, not just the man.
2007-03-24 14:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by Brown-eyed girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would agree that you should try to get along with his family as much as possible but if his father is refusing any contact with your side of that family that is right out rude and unacceptable. You should first discuss this with your man then you need to talk to his father and tell him that it hurts your feelings that he is acting this way and that he should stop. It is very immature and unreasonable to act that way towards people that will soon be married into the family.
However, if he decides that it means nothing to him that it hurts you and the way it makes you feel when he does this then you should proceed with your relationship and unfortunately you will just have to deal with it in the case of asking him to come to a family gathering and telling him that your family will attend and he can choose not to come if that is what he really wants. Do NOT let him ruin the relationship you worked so hard to build with your future husband. Good luck!
2007-03-24 21:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Rissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a whole lot easier if both of your families get along but really, the only event that you sort of need both sides there at the same time is the wedding and maybe the reception. If you and your fiance can sit down and decide together how to handle other events you should be OK. It may mean your FIL misses out on exact dates for holidays and first viewings of, say, a baby but that's his choice.
2007-03-24 22:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your finance need to talk about his situation and how each of you would feel about it. When couples don't have the support of their families, it puts a strain on the marriage. But if you and your future husband can agree on how to handle it, don't let either set of parents run your life or tell you to invite to family gatherings. It is HIS choice not to come to the gatherings, you can't change that. The way to handle it needs to be a joint decision.
2007-03-24 21:12:37 · answer #4 · answered by Kristel W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are right, it would. This situtation needs to be sorted out before you marry, and it needs to be sorted out by your future husband. He needs to speak to his father and explain to him in no uncertain terms that unless he starts to respect you and your family, he will no longer be welcome in your home.
2007-03-24 21:07:34 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit down with him and have a talk and see why he is feeling the way he feels about you. you dont want to have a bad relationship with him if your going to see him the rest of your life!
2007-03-25 01:40:56 · answer #6 · answered by carla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's his problem. your obligation is to your husband not to his father. you continue to support your husband in his efforts and he should likewise. He is the one that will miss out on precious family time. It will be his loss.
2007-03-24 21:04:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Life isn't fair try to figure out why he doesn't like your family so you can try to fix it.
2007-03-24 21:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋