I broke up with my ex 2 months ago. We went out for 3 months, and now we've been talking again, going to the movies, dinner, and having sex a little bit, but the strange part is, we haven't been holding hands, cuddling or making out like we used to. STRANGE?? yes!!! Which is why I needed to know what's going on without him finding out. So I secretly did my own investigation, and I found out that he has an online long distance girlfriend that he never met before, and it looks like she's planning to move and live close to him. I don't want to comfront him yet, because I don't want him to think that I'm crazy. The only reason I did my own investigation because I just want to be safe. So now my question is, does he really want to get back together with me or is he just using me?
2007-03-24 13:49:03 · 10 answers · asked by m3y0uw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think he is using you until his new booty call gets to town . you should have a talk with this guy and soon . let him know that you know about his new girl and you are not playing second to any woman . good luck .
2007-03-24 13:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, how did you find out about his online affair? Obviously, you must be spying on him... like you do not trust him. Same way he does not trust you. Second, it just does not make sense that if he is using you.?... because, he has already " used " you. Now, coming back to the serious part of the question. Apparently your boyfriend has two relationships and he is not sure or confident about either one. One is online person who he never met. The only thing he knows about her is what she writes to him and obviouly he can not have full trust on her. As far as you are concerned, you two obviously had some issues or you won't break up in the first place. But then you two like each other or you won't get back together ( Unless either of you or both of you are such losers as you could not find any one else). The real question is if you like him enough to be part of your life. If such is the case then resolve the issues which cause the break so that trust can be restored. Use you intelligence, patience and power of forgiveness to be part of his life. And then if he still is not completely in you ( emotionally) then you go your ways. Not holding hands just reflect that he has some internal issues about you. It does not reflect not having love. Love is not a ready made thing. When you have it then you know you have it. Good luck.
2007-03-24 14:00:44 · answer #2 · answered by WISEMAN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey hun,
Honestly..do not think that doing sexual things with him will get him back. He is just using you. Take it from me. I went through this..
He is using you AND cheating on his secret online girlfriend
Listen, you deserve so much better who will be loving toward you and understanding. And when the time comes for sexual things, he will be gentle and in a relationship with you. He will wait for you until you are ready.
Unlike this guy that you are with...it is sad. Sorry, love, but it is over...he does not show any love affection (No cuddling, holding hands..) but only sexual? This is not right. Forget him. Or if you really want closure ask him about his online girlfriend. And tell him he will get what he deserves...
Good luck, dear.
2007-03-24 13:55:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but if your ex told you that you're too jealous and clingy then he must know what he's saying.
Read here https://tr.im/ZRaF1
Anyone that goes out clubbing just to see what their ex is doing or drive by his place at 7:00 a.m. to see who's there tell me that you need to work on something. I don't think that you are only jealous but also possessive. And if you don't change that then you will never get your ex back. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to mean to you. I only want you to see what you are doing is so wrong. You have to admit that you are jealous and clingy. If you can't admit that then you'll never be able to fix the problem.
I understand that you don't like it if he dances and flirts in front of you. But guys are guys. And many guys don't see anything wrong with this. I know you feel hurt if he does that in front of your face. And it is disrespectful. But there are ways you can talk to your boyfriend if he's flirting while he's with you. You only have to tell him that it hurts you and that it's disrespectful and then ask him to stop doing it when he’s with you.
I don't know if getting back with your ex is going to last because now you have two problems. You were having problems with him because of his flirting and now you will have another problem because of this girl that he's going out with. It is eating you alive that he's involved with this girl and you know he's probably sleeping with her. How are you going to handle that if you get back together? Because of your jealousy and your insecurities are you going to be able to forget that he was ever involved with this girl? You really need to work on this and make sure if you try to get him back that you never again mention about his flirting or this girl. You can mention one more time how his flirting affects you but it has to stop there.
You asked how do you compete with the girl he's involved with. I looked at the picture and I can tell that your ex knows how to go for beautiful girls. So that give me a clear picture about how you look. I have a feeling that you are also very beautiful but for some reason I don't think you see yourself that way. The only thing I can tell you is that your boyfriend did not leave you because he didn't love you. He left you because of your jealousy and because you were clinging to him. If you love his as much as you say you do then fight for him and get him back. And if you do get him back then make sure that you can promise him that you will no longer be jealous, clingy or insecure about your relationship with him. If you can't promise him that then you may as well forget about him because it won't work if you don't change,
2016-07-19 18:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/Jotgr
Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.
The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.
Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.
2016-04-30 19:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by ella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok i dont even have to read what else you said. Do you like him? If you do 100% then date him, but even if 99% then dont cuz over 90% of the times when exes want to come back it never lasts. So save your heart from going through pain again and tell him no! Its your time to break his heart!! If he even has one for leaving you.PS i didnt mean to sound rude, but i hate when people get hurt, so i'm srry if i offended you.
2007-03-24 13:54:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one.. He still wants you cause you are a willing partner. He can have his sex from you while getting another lined up for the future. I would drop this creep, cause you will only get hurt in the end. Can you imagine if you got pregnant..
2007-03-24 13:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is just using you for the time being. He doesnt want to be your boyfriend but he has no problem having sex with you,,,something sounds wrong with that!!!
2007-03-24 13:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's using you.. i know it sucks but he sounds like a mess to get involved with.
2007-03-24 13:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by needchocolate 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not go back with that mf
2007-03-24 13:53:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋