I'm not a very trusting person because of past experiences with my mothers bf when i was young. But I dont want to tell Gabriel (my boyfriend) why i cant trust him because of the embarassment. I know he loves me, and I fell the same way, but how can I gain trust for him and forget about what happened in the past?
2007-03-24 12:47:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't ruin a good thing because you have had bad experiences with someone ELSE. You should trust your boyfriend unless he gives you a reason not to. Don't punish him for what others did.
Sounds like you might need to talk to a counselor about your problem. Don't make it your boyfriend's problem. You will make both of you unhappy and end up losing him.
2007-03-24 13:01:03 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First off, your mother's boyfriend is a completly different man than your boyfriend. I'm sure telling your boyfriend will be difficault, but it needs to be done or you two will keep making up and breaking up due to your lack of trust in him. Now, the embarrasment part...well if he really does love you he won't make a big deal out of it. If he does, he doesn't really love you. If you and your mom are close, you could ask her for advice and maybe even to tell him for you? But, the way you tell him is completly up to you..but I think you should bring it up randomly, when you two are alone. DO NOT DO IT OVER THE PHONE..he will think you are afraid of him. The best way to start trusting people is to let them know you have a very hard time trusting people, and that you are open to start trusting again. Remember, if he really does love you..he will take this well. If he doesn't trust you, he doesn't love you. If you need further advice from me, email me at xoxtaekwondoxoxo@yahoo.com . =]XOxO <3Cynthia
2007-03-24 19:53:12 · answer #2 · answered by Cynthia Baumann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your first sentence in your question scares me a bit. you don't say what happened in the past. if this is something that you cannot get over or forget, please seek counseling or talk with a trusted adult. if you continue to let the past into your present relationship or future relationships, you will have a very hard time letting them grow and you will become more distant than you are now.
you have to see gabriel for what he is and how he treats you
and give him and yourself a chance. if not, you will always have that thought of the past. good luck
2007-03-24 19:58:16 · answer #3 · answered by lon d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is any doubt or trust, then you need to do one of the two. Either sit down with him and explain what and why you feel the way you do, or, kick him to the curb and go on with your life.
Picture your life for the next five years, doubting, being miserable, fighting over little things. Is that the kind of life you want???
Be honest with him and put it on the table and see what his reaction is. THEN, make a decision and drive on with life. Life is too short to be miserable all the time.
2007-03-24 19:52:33 · answer #4 · answered by bigmikejones 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it takes time to forget what happened in the past and to trust again. one day you'll have to realize that no matter what that person did to you in the past they can't do today and don't let it affect you. take your time with this guy and if he's right it'll work out in the end. if not then someone will. good luck
2007-03-24 19:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Therapy would be a very good start. Your relationship doesn't have a chance without honesty. I would suggest therapy for yourself to work through this issue and hopefully you'll be able to open up to him and not this bad experience from your past continue to control your future.
Good luck. It's not an easy issue to deal with.
2007-03-24 19:52:28 · answer #6 · answered by SDTerp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to gain trust from him u have to tell him, let him prove to u that hes nothing like the guys ur mom dated im sure if he loves u like he says he does hes not going to hurt u hes gona be hurting anybody who does try to hurt u though so just tell him the truth and dont be embarressed he may actually be happy u told him and want to help you
2007-03-24 19:54:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to read "Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus" by Dr. John Gray.
2007-03-24 19:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by convincing yourself that you trust him? its one of those things you need to work on
2007-03-24 19:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by Mr_wall2005 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to him about it and make an effort to trust him.
2007-03-24 19:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by sweetness 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋