I was looking for some advice.... well more like some other points of view. I am in a long distance relationship, I met my boyfriend back in October 2006 but in December he had to return to his country. I managed to see him for almost a month in January when I went down to visit his family but was forced to return home to finish school. We have kept in close contact by phone and internet... lately webcam and mic and I will be returning there in May after school. But the other day he told be has a surprise for me when i return and after much questioning i came to the concussion that he is going to ask me to marry him (it has to do with us, and my reaction will decide our future together). I love him dearly and we have talked about our lives together I just though that we would have more time. To me it doesnt matter if I marry him tomorrow or 5 years from now but many of my close friends and some family are freaking out that i would even consider saying yes. What would you do??
2007-03-24 12:15:12 · 8 answers · asked by Amanda B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm not looking for the if you are asking then you shouldn't. I was only looking to the opinion of others. My best friend and a couple of my family members (not my mom or step father) are trying to talk me out of it. I love my bf greatly we have talked about our lives together, both marriage and children for awhile time. Im almost finished college, I'm 21 and he is 26, and I am but no means immature like some people my age.
2007-03-24 12:37:05 · update #1
Even if I did say yes, I wouldnt marry him right away. I would be looking for at least 1 year min,but most likely closer to two year. Expecially cause even once we decide on what country we will stay in (which doesnt matter to me I love both countries) we would have to give plenty of time just for the families to save for the wedding as we both have huge families. So I'm looking at at least 2 to 3 years before I would even actually walk down the aisle where we will be living together there as I am returning there in May or here which will give us time to make sure we will be able to share our lives.
2007-03-24 18:23:02 · update #2
First, let me say that sometimes what we THINK is coming, isnt always what is coming.... he may have meant something else entirely... just dont jump to conclusions and get your hopes up, disappointment can really hurt sometimes..
That said..... By all means get engaged to him if you love him... but to appease the worried members of your family make it an extended engagement (say 18 - 24 months instead of 12) you will then also get the extra benefit of having some extra time for planning (which is good if you decide to go for a popular venue or service provider).
2007-03-24 12:37:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not say yes if you want and then have a longer engagement. This would give you both some time to spend an extended period of time together and you can find out about each other during that time. Then after a while if you are both happy you can set a date and proceed with the weding plans.
2007-03-24 20:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offence but you have only known him for 5 months hun. 21 is young to get married and ALOT can go wrong. I am 23 and I have been with my boyfriend for the last 2 years and we have wanted to wait on marrage to make sure it is REALLy what we want. I'm not saying that marriage doesn't work out when you are that young, but it has a higher chance of not working out. My sister married at 21 when she got pregnant and it didn't even last a year and she dated him for 5 years, She is 24 now and taking her time with her new boyfriend. My friend just got married and she is 21 and has been with him for 3 years and married for one, and their relationship is going great....It is always a better idea to wait and make sure than to jump in head first and then wonder why it didn't work out. Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don't. 5 months is such a short time....engagement isn't bad within 5 months, but it sure isn't enough time (in my opinion) to get married shortly after, and if your friends and family are against it, maybe take their advice....they are looking through a different "window" in your life than you are...
What ever you choose, good luck! :)
2007-03-24 21:05:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your absoulty sure that this is the one, than say yes. Just have a longer engagedment at least a year. So this way you two wil be able to learn more about one another and know for sure that marraige is the thing for yous. Try not to rush things, but saying yes to a engagedment isnt saying I Do right now, like I said try putting the wedding day way ahead. So that way everyone is happy and sees that this is not rushed.
Congratulations
2007-03-24 19:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you two could be engaged but marry once the both of you are done school? That way you both will not need to worry about education and you could just live your lives together. If you two want to spend the rest of your lives together, waiting another couple of years to get married will not hurt any. :) Best of luck!
2007-03-24 19:24:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that if you have to ask then you should wait a little. If you had no doubt what so ever, you wouldnt even hesitate and your friends and family wouldnt matter. I would wait a while.
2007-03-24 19:25:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can have a long engagement...you should explain that to your family and friends.
2007-03-24 19:44:40 · answer #7 · answered by simply_the_lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where would you live, your country or his? That would be a big determining factor in your decision.
Good luck!
2007-03-24 20:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋