How do I handle my 32 year old daughter who is a crystal meth/alcoholic who is coming to stay wtih me.?

Question

She has had her children taken away. Her husband is abusive. Don't know if he is on drugs or just can't handle her drug abuse. A neighbor took her away from the home and is driving her 300 miles to my house.

Answer 1

She is in the worst of her life. Everyone needs help sometime. She has to become clean and get a job, and home to get her kids back. That is alot to do. Shes stressed. Don't nag at her, she will want to do drugs. Just say things nice, like are you hungry, would you like to go somewhere with me. Always something other than about whats happening. She needs time to think sober. Keep her busy, eating, going places, having lots of people over, only people she wants though, because you don't want to give her a reason to leave and go get drugs, she needs rehab badly, but don't force it just mention how you know where a place would be if shes interested. Find her things to do, options. Be loving, she probably needs lots of hugs. If she wants space give it. She has to start thinking, that needs personal time.

Answer 2

I've seen otherwise wonderful people turn into monsters because of this crap. If you haven't seen your daughter in a while, be prepared for a shock.

Meth addicts are habitual liars and have no respect for anyone else's property or welfare. Hope you don't have any emotional attachments to your various possessions - sad to say, meth is probably about the most morally bankrupting drug in the universe.

I hate to say this, but if you let her live with you, things are bound to get worse, not better. If her addiction(s) are so bad that her kids were taken away from her, she's in an unredeemable state and there is probably no way you'll be able to help her. She needs professional help. Unfortunately, if she does not want to help herself, all your love and good intentions will be for naught.

Just so you understand where I'm coming from, I staunchly oppose the drug war and believe that if recreational drugs were controlled by the state, society would be in a much better place.

That said, everytime I see the cops bust a meth lab, I jump up and cheer. The city where I live used to be known as the "Meth Capitol of the World" and its not hard to see why. It ruined the lives of many of my friends and loved ones. And everyday where I work, I have to deal with meth freaks and other addicts. They are often mentally deranged from years of doing meth and many are violent.

Do yourself a favor and do not allow your daughter to live with you unless she is actively involved in a drug program. Further, do not allow her to have her "friends" over to the house.

Finally, visit your local library to find out about all the various resources that are open to you. There are also support groups for parents dealing with addicted kids.

Answer 3

If she's had her children taken from her then there is a DCFS case open, meaning she has a DCFS Social Worker and that worker is responsible for monitoring your daughters behavior. If she is not already court ordered to go to a drug treatment center she will be soon. She will also be court ordered to attend parenting and 12 step meetings.

In the mean time...maybe you can attend Alanon meetings so you can have some support in dealing with your "experienced" 32 year old daughter.

Unfortunately sometimes when people are using drugs and their life gets unmanageable they try and relocate hoping that will change but if you don't treat the problem from the inside... it will return when life triggers frsutrate her.

There is treatment centers everywhere...

12 step meetings everywhere...

try the NA World Service office for meeting information

818 773-9999

Hope everything works out!!

Answer 4

My heart goes out to you. I hope you have a strong support network yourself. My sister is bi-polar and also a former crystal meth/crank/cocaine/heroin/alcohol abuser who is still using something (I don't know what). My parents and I both tried the "stay with us" time; it worked for awhile to help her get her feet under her but then she started back in her patterns. My parents also have stayed in her community to help get her set up and connected to community services including a psychiatrist so she could stay accountable.

The upshot here is that my sister, at age 42 is continuing to make her own choices, some good some bad. The best things have been getting her into community programs, support groups and they've been fine as long as she's stayed.

Protect yourself, your home, belongings. I'm sorry to say don't trust her with anything you value and don't let her "friends" over. When my folks kept my sister and her daughter isolated from friends, it was better. Absolutely do not let her husband know where she is. You may have to be a bit hidden for your own safety.

If you can contact Narcotics anonymous or AA to see if you can get a referral for some help for her and yourself that may help. Does she need a restraining order for her husband? You may need to get the law involved.

Hang in there and know you are NOT alone...

Answer 5

You are just enabling her if you take her into your home.
I know that that sounds uncaring but I work with drug addicts everyday and believe me, you are not helping her by taking her in.
She needs to figure out for herself what she is going to do. That may be the only way that she will decide to get off drugs.
Staying at your home will only give her someplace to flop in between her running around and using. If she's not working, you will probably find that she will start stealing from you if she is not prostituting herself for her drug money. I'm sorry to be so blunt but I don't know if you are fully aware of what kind of life your daughter may be livng and what you are getting yourself into. Things are obviously pretty bad already if she's had her children taken away from her. If she's not ready to deal with reality, then you need to.

Answer 6

You do whatever is in your heart. I am sorry you have seen your children come to such a place in life. A person is, in the end, responsible for his own actions, and you are not to be held accountable for your daughter's failures. My personal advice is that you are placing yourself at great risk. The combo of those two drugs creates a person who is entirely undependable, violent, a thief and a liar. There will be trouble in your home involving Police responses to your house. Other users will frequent your home, increasing the danger. That is my best advice.

Answer 7

Lock up all of your valuables and your medications. You must remember this is not your daughter you are dealing with, it is an addict. Do not EVER leave any purses or wallets around. It only takes them a split second to rationalize a decision. Try to get her into rehab or other programs in your area. Ultimately, it will be her choice. Provide her with the knowledge and the support to succeed and step back. Go to ALANON meetings for yourself. She has to fix herself or nothing will ever change.

Answer 8

Love her and try and keep her clean. Get rid of all the Bad things in your house Booze and stuff. Have her drink lots of water and sleep. Eat healthy no refined sugars or salt. If she is still an addict she needs professional help.

Answer 9

if you are asking this question do you think you want to take on this responsibility ? my parents did a home rehab with one of my brothers but there was trouble but in the end I am glad they did it.they basically put him under house arrest.

after he figured out that he need to dry out and get clean he got straited out with the support of my parents

I hope the best for you and your daughter

Answer 10

Put her on an episode of "Intervention" or tell her that she isn't going to be at your house until she cleans up her act. You don't have to risk her stealing from you, wrecking your life or whatever will occur. She needs to know about the Nat "King" Cole 1943 song, "Straighten Up & Fly Right".