How do you get over someone you love?

Question

My boyfriend of four years just broke up with me saying he's changed, grown out of me, feels like he needs to find something more and wants to take the time to find it...he even said he wished he could put me on pause...I even got that crap line that he wants to be friends....It's been about 2 weeks and I miss him like crazy and I'm still in love with him. He says there's nothing I can do to get him back and that I just have accept that...I'm trying to so badly but it's just so hard. I go to sleep and wake up still thinking he's beside me or at night I still think he will be coming through the door when he should be coming home from work....I feel so heart broken. I hate this crap that it's just going to take time!!!! I just don't know where to go from here..Help!

Answer 1

One month, one year, ten years or twenty years from now, he might wake up to the sad reality that he might have made a serious mistake to have let you go. His conscience might seriously bother him some day.
But you! you must take care of you... If you were already overly depending on him, that has a tendency to turn men "off"... humans don't seem to appreciate anything that comes too easy. Just look at you, he wants to leave and suddenly you never loved him so much. Did you always feel that good about him when he was there? Or did you sometimes really take him for granted? Never for a moment dreaming that this moment could ever come?
Life is a learning experience from one moment to the next, one day to the next, and unfortunately these days, one relationship to the next. Hang on to the love, there's nothing wrong with loving; but if you can't love yourself properly and love your day even without him in it, is it any wonder that he had enough of your company? You must learn to love you... take care of you and before you know it, he might come running back. If not, you will have done the best that you could and God's angels themselves might send you the nicest person that you could ever imagined existed. No one knows what will happen tomorrow! Do you??? I don't!!!
What matters is that you watch over your heart and take care of yourself for now. You heard this before... "If you love him let him go, if he comes back, he's yours, if he doesn't, he never was yours in the first place." He could have been in your life because of the fact that both of you found what you needed to grow but that one has grown apart. It's not good to blame and will drag you down if you were to chose that route. One decision at a time, make the best one that you can and you will get better and be the wiser for it... Best wishes and truly learn to like the person that you are. Go for walks, look at the flowers, smell the coffee, take deep breaths, exercise or go swimming. When he sees that you're no longer sitting by the phone waiting for him, who knows that the attraction he once had won't come back???

Answer 2

Unfortunately, there is no way to get over someone you love OTHER than time. If you easily put it behind you immediately, you didn't really love him after all. Since this is not the case, you are going through a grief process...grieving the loss of your love and, likely, many of your dreams as well. You're in an emotional tunnel right now and you can't just bypass it...you have to go through it. Eventually, you will come out of the tunnel and life will be bright and good again, but it is true that it will just take time. In the meantime, do your best to stay busy...go out with friends, take time to do things that you've thought about doing but just didn't seem to have time for before (for example, if you enjoy reading, go to a library or book store and get yourself some interesting books to read...but stay out of the Romance section for awhile!), do something that will make you feel good physically (manicure/pedicure, new hairstyle, something along those lines). Just try to stay busy so you have less time to dwell on the past. Things will get better.....but it will take time, just as any wound needs time to heal. Take care!

Answer 3

I am going through the same crap but from a males perspective. I just started talking to other females and there are a lot of things that these other females are better at than my ex. Go through the hard stuff by talking to friends about it then family then if that doesnt work go online like your doing now. Nothings heals the pain like time.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, you have to accept what your ex has told you and try to move on. There's no use looking back on that relationship right now, it is better to look forward to your next. If he's changed then there is nothing you can do about that and it's better that you found out about it now rather than later when you may have been married with kids. You need to concentrate on yourself, you were in a relationship where you were probably focused on "us" instead of "I" and now it's time to get back to you. Take a vacation with your friends, take a night class to meet new people with your interests, concentrate on what you liked that he didn't. That will make it easier till your heart heals.

Answer 5

Heartbreak is hell!! I have always said that I would rather lose my arm than have my heart broken. I know how you feel and it sucks. But, there is nothing you can really do, as only time heals all wounds. You can only try to make time go by faster by staying busy. Keep your close friends very close to you. I am sorry you are going through this - it is very hard and I wish you luck!!!

Answer 6

You never forget your first love.. he is very important to you. You will always have special feelings. And that is a good thing. Because without that first love, you will never know what to look forward to in a future love. I am 47 years old, and I have a pic of my first love still in my jewelry box... not because I love him still.. but because he represents a wonderful time in my life. Even though it is over.. and I have been married, divorced, several relationships since... my first love was very important. The first time for feeling..... You will get better.. someone will make you not think about him so much. Someone will make you love again..... :)

Answer 7

The best solution for falling out of love is give yourself a break from him, first.... Put friendship on pause just for a little while, and get out there and meet people! When you meet someone you fancy, you'll realize how quickly you'll forget about the guy who broke your heart.

Answer 8

I know it's hard right now, but know that you WILL love again.
Give yourself time to get back to being comfortable with yourself, your friends, etc. Keep busy, pray to God and give God glory, even during this time. This guy did you a huge favor. You deserve someone who thinks of never growing out of you, but wants to get closer. Tell him you're not putting him on pause - you're putting him on STOP!!!! He's got one heck of a nerve. Forget about him and move on Sweetie. You deserve so much better than that. God Bless You.

Answer 9

Its particular normal you will go threw stage of missing him its going to be that way. I say you move on found you someone else forget and im pretty sure you will meet a dude that will take your mind off of him. You are strong for one confession that you still love him that step one step two is moving on an let the pass go.

Answer 10

Did you ever stop to think that perhaps he is not worthy of your love, and was he ever in love with you. You usually cannot walk away so easily from someone if you have ever truly loved them.
He probably was just using you for his needs and now he has probably found someone else that is better at is than you were. So dry up your tears and tell yourself you deserve better than that and get on with your life. And next time be careful who you give your love to.