why don't I get approached by men??

Question

My entire life I have alwyas been told that I'm really pretty. Guys ask my friends about me ... but I NEVER get approached. If I am as attractive as everyone says, shouldn't guys always be trying to talk to me? oh... and I am NOT arrogant at all (i'm actually quite shy and I have my own insecurities) -- I'm just saying what other people say. I see guys approaching women all the time... but this doesn't happen to me (?)... it's frustrating..

Answer 1

they are intimidaded by ur beauty!

Answer 2

I can relate--I had the same issue. I was told I was stunning, but for years I was not approached by men. Same issue--I was also very shy. What I learned over time is that often, shyness is misinterpreted by other people (men and women) as being stuck-up, snotty, or "too good for" the regular crowd, because you don't talk to people. So if you're sending off the "shy" vibe, people will be less willing to approach you, because they already feel somewhat rejected.
How I fixed it: my own personal therapy--I became a bartender. I threw myself into a job I was terrified of, because I had to talk to people all day or I didn't make money. I think it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Now, I am friendly, approachable, and approached! I recommend getting yourself into a position where you have to interact with a lot of people, like a customer service position, or volunteering somewhere. Shyness can be overcome--it just takes lots of practice.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Hi Sophie,
Unfortunately we have seasoned one another to fear rejection at all costs because people can be notably cruel to others just for showing interest in them. I am sure this is not the case with you and you are just suffering the consequences for the actions of so many of us over such a long period of time. There has been an insidious gender role reversal taking place over the past 30 years or so. The world seems to want men to be more sensitive and women to be more independent - the side effects of this are men who don't pursue or provide and women with super egos who don't let men open doors for them then complain when the men don't do it. What I am getting at is that if there is a young men who you would like to approach you, give him a subtle "OK to proceed" signal, like a sincere smile meant just for him. Sometimes we just need a little sign of safety from the other side to calm our fears enough to take that frightful next step.
All the best to you Sophie. I hope you will bless and be blessed today.

Answer 4

i cant speak for anyone else, but i do get intimdated by pretty women. i'm shy anyway and have a hard time approaching women in general. i think wow you are hot, there's no way you're single. or if i find out you are, i think you could have your choice of any guy you meet, and don't try because of my own insecurities, whether real or perceived. not that i'm exactly the bottom of the barrel so to speak, but i wouldnt consider myself to be Gods gift to women either. just a little insight to misguided thinking some of us have towards pretty women. sometimes you have to make the first move when the guy you're interested in wont because he might have the same kind of mentality. i hope this helps at least in some small way. good luck

Answer 5

Wow! This happens a lot to me too. It seems we both have something in common-we are shy. With my experience, guys are too nervous to approach you. I asked tons of guys this same question at my school, my family etc and the answer was: they are too shy or nervous. What really attracts the guys is opening up to your friends and laughing and havin a good time and showing interests in certain guys. They will watch you and decide if your really a fun person to be with and get to know. Just be yourself! That is the best thing to do when trying to attract the right guy for you.

Answer 6

For the most part guys are just scared little boys. Remember we stopped growing up shortly after we hit our 13th birthday. Now we do grow up with time, but it is a lot of time, like after we hit the upper 30's to 40's. By then if your not married already, it's about too late for you anyway.
Back to your question. It could be that your shyness is being taken the wrong way. If a pretty woman is shy, the assumption is that she is too good for you. The guy moves on to easier pray. If you want guys to approach you, try smiling at them or just saying hello. It is a reall ego boost to us little boys when a woman actuly takes notice of us.

Good luck..

Answer 7

Sophie, I genuinely don't know in your PARTICULAR case; only way I could is to know you better. Then I'd be able to answer your question.

I know that guys can be intimidated by someone of great beauty because they feel it'd be DEVASTATING if they were coldly turned away from such lovely a lady. Probably would, too, for that matter.

Then there's the "omg!! she's checking me out!!! God, what do I do now!! I don't want to come off looking like a nerd!!!"; bottom line: self-conscious fears. Girls have their own such issues, too.

It all just takes getting ways around them and really finding some confidence.

Answer 8

the woman that I had the best relationship with, approached me at a bar. well actually her friend did, cause she was too shy.. but I would have never had approached her, for the same reason many woman don't approach me, (too good looking to be single) wear lots of rings when out, but non on your relationship finger, that says "I am available" 2. don't let guys you are not attractted to hang out near you, get away from them.

Answer 9

HONEY!! Nowadays, us girls have to approach the men. They fear rejection just as much as we do. Maybe you're so pretty to the guys that they think you'd never think about dating any of them. So they back off and don't even try. They're scared. You approach them. Grow some confidence, without being arrogant. GOOD LUCK!

Answer 10

well if you are attractive as you say - its not wonder a guy won't ask you out.

most guys are insecure.
if you're too good looking they are afraid that some big guy with big muscles, or a big wad of money will come along and sweep you off your feet (ie out of their arms)

a guy is thinking about gettting laid. if he thinks he'll loose you too easily he won;t even try.

(somilarly speaking from a woman spoint of view - if the guy is too winpy she will not go out with him either because he wants someone strong or financially well off to be able to take care of her. Why waste time if its not going to work)

biology - what can i tell you.

other than the longer you hold out - the better guy you will eventually wind up with (muscels and money will come to you - keep working on yourself and know that everything will wrk out in the end,)

Smile!

Answer 11

Maybe because guys can probably pick up that you are shy and have insecurities. If they have to ask your friends about you, you must seem unapproachable to them. Maybe smile and laugh more (I don't know that you don't already) and don't be afraid to start a conversation with a random guy.

It's all in the way you carry yourself.