A friend of mine got married (justice of the peace) after she was planning this big wedding and it was becoming apparent that no one was willing to "participate" shall we say. Now she wants to have this big to do reception in a few months and sad to say, some folks are already chatting about they are just going for the free food / drinks. So tell me, (aside from the obvious that this union isn't one that the masses approve of) what's the best way (as tact isn't my specialty) to help her see that she is just spending money for folks looking for a free meal and drinks?
2007-03-24 10:52:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The reception is a celebration of the marriage that has taken place. They use to go on for d-a-y-s.
Whether the "masses" are attending for free food or not, let this couple have a celebration. Try & guide your friend to not be too extravagant. Who knows, maybe the "masses" will change their minds about this couple's decison.
Then again, you could tell her.
2007-03-24 11:06:41 · answer #1 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am of the belief that the wedding (ceremony) should be for the bride and groom to have, and remember as how they wanted their wedding to be.
But the reception, is for the guests, it is a party celebrating the wedding that just took place. Everyone should have a good time, the couple and the wedding party included, but it is really for the guests. If a couple has been married for awhile, I would not call the party a reception, or a wedding, but a celebration or some other name.
But this being said, the guests saying they are only coming for a freebie is way piggy. It doesn't matter who approves or disapproves of this marriage. They are married and what's done is done. Tact isn't my specialty either. I would just try to start a conversation like, don't you think so and so (one person) might not be coming because they are happy, but just for something to do, or curiousity-- then see where it goes from there. I hope this makes sense.
2007-03-24 11:02:01 · answer #2 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is no way to tell someone "tactfully" that they are being used or taken advantage of. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and face the difficulty head on... this is one of those times. You would do best not to beat around the bush. Tell her you love her and that as her friend you cant stand by and watch her be treated this way. Then tell her what the trouble is, and let her know that if she still wants to have the reception you will stand by her and help her however she needs.
2007-03-24 11:10:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wedding reception are for the people to eat and drink free. Everyone like free drinks or food. Let her know what people are saying. No one wanted to be apart of it when she went to the Justice of the Peace let her see that.
2007-03-24 11:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by snicker4274 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Take her out to lunch at a nice restaurant. Tell her, without giving away names, of the comments youhave heard. Tell her that you'd hate to see her spend so much time, energy, and money on people who aren't what they seem.
Tell her why the masses don't aprove of the union, especially if that's the reason folks are treating this reception the way they are.
2007-03-24 11:00:09 · answer #5 · answered by Carol D 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nope - You are not able to do this. Not except you wish men and women to bear in mind you and your marriage ceremony as cheesy and impolite. I realize you are saying it is a double marriage ceremony, so you have already got plenty of men and women, and are not able to find the money for many extra. Then do not envite the 'many extra' in any respect. Pick and decide upon cautiously. Set up an "A", "B" and "C" record, position the need to have men and women within the "A" record, the might be great for them to be there within the "B", and the 'in the event that they exhibit, best, if no longer, oh good' men and women within the "C" record. Start sending the "A" record invitations out brilliant early. Once they have got spoke back, reevaluate the "B" and "C" record. Send out the "B" record invitations, and do the identical once they get again. Finally - when you've got room - ship out the "C" record invitations. Just ensure you agenda the sending of the invitations in order that the "C" record men and women do not detect that they're at the "C" record. Hope this is helping!!! Good success, and Congratulations!!!
2016-09-05 14:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to my mind these huge weddings and receptions are more about keeping up with the Jones, than anything.
getting married is such a personal private thing that i don't understand the idea of 'sharing' it with hundreds of people that you barely even know......except then you get lots of presents and hopefully more than the other brides you know so you can be smug and self-satisfied with how popular you are. it's all just b.s.
if she got married at the j.p. and is planning a big to do reception in a few months..........tell me it isn't for the gifts and just plain showing off!?!
she has her reasons for wasting her money on a reception, the guests have their reasons for going..........pointless but everyone will be happy.
2007-03-24 11:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
apparently she is doing this for herself but no one is willing to make it easy for her. She already didn't get the wedding she wanted because of whatever situation. Let her have her party and be a good friend and support her on it>
2007-03-24 11:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Rose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's too bad that there are so many selfish and greedy people in her life PRETENDING to care about her. I would encourage her to take her money and fly to the Bahamas and get married on a beach at sunset. Spend the next week with the man she loves. And when she gets back that YOU will organize something to welcome them back.
2007-03-24 11:13:21 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that she already knows this and doesnt mind?
2007-03-24 14:03:48 · answer #10 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋