My best mate is a lesbian and she says she's fallen in love with me,problem is I am a gay man. I like her have feelings for her but not THOSE feelings, what should I tell her.
2007-03-24 10:50:25 · 29 answers · asked by BuddhistPunk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She has a girlfriend also.
2007-03-24 10:51:22 · update #1
She is not a lesbian..she is bisexual...just let her know that its men you like and you will be her friend and nothing more.
2007-03-31 00:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you SURE that she really is a lesbian. Is it possible she could actually be bisexual? I'm practically a lesbian because guys have messed things up too many times but technically i am bisexual as i do still have a guy's name in my heart. It is also possible that she may be confused, in which case you should support her as a friend and help her to sort things out in her own mind. If she knows you are gay then she must know that nothing can happen but it is possible that she could still have feelings for you anyway, even if she mainly likes girls. Just let her down gently and be there for her as a friend and together you will be able to work things out in the end.
2007-03-26 04:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by deanfriedmanfan 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NuttyAli, I think your friend might be struggling with her sexuality. It is not uncommon, to be confused, unsure, and not understand mixed signals one is trying to sort through.She is obviously in a place in her life, where she is battling with her inner emotions. You say that you are a gay man, and if you are comfortable with your sexuality "now", was it always the case? Did you have difficulty, and uncertainties within yourself? Maybe, if you share some of your earlier, inner conflicts or questions, you could help her get a better understanding of herself. A true friend, would help each other, through the MOST difficult times, and be there to listen. If you truly care for her, then you should understand her situation, and help her as best you can.
2007-03-31 13:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok i'm gonna *NOT* be a jerk and give you an actual answer.
tell her, respectively, just like you'd do if your best guy mate loved you, that you're not interested. honesty and getting to the point may hurt, but it beats the **** out of letting this situation linger for so long that she can grow false hope, or you make her think she might have some hope.
this reminds me of the movie "chasing amy"----k that wasnt necessary.
but anyway, you should also tell her that she might want to have a serious talk with her girlfriend, too, if shes having these feelings for you and is taken at the same time.
2007-03-24 18:00:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that she's in the wrong lifestyle and what the hell is she doing with her life? Being gay is a dead-end as a life style if you want to be heterosexual and act out the heterosexual life style with someone of the same sex. She's fallen in love with you? She should start frequenting hetero hangouts and face up to the fact she wants to be dating a guy! Goes to show you, under the surface of a 'gay' person is the not so gay turmoil of unresolved identity issues. Tell her that too!
2007-04-01 15:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She can't be a lesbian if she is in love with you, a man, gay or not. Maybe you have misunderstood what she said re, loving you. One can love a very dear friend too.
2007-04-01 13:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by MoiMoii 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you luck.. if she is a lesbian why does she like you if you are a man, even though you are gay doesn;t make you a woman, does it??? confusing, it's ok because you like men so she should understand.
2007-03-31 16:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by peee x 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So she's not really a lesbian then. Tell her to make her mind up.
2007-04-01 16:25:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can she like you if she's a lesbian? Either way it's sounds like she's confused. Just sit her down and tell her that you don't like her in that way and that maybe she needs time in figuring out what she really wants. Say you'll be be there for her as a friend..
2007-03-24 17:56:05 · answer #9 · answered by Scorpio 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
its nice that you best mates but you really need to tell her you do not feel the same, but you like her as a special friend only good luck.
2007-03-31 17:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by sweettinks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋