My dad always promises things he can't keep. He's almost never kept a promise for me in MY entire life. He puts my efforts down to the waistside. Whenever I tell him my ideas, he says they're crap and other things, and so I started to act like I didn't know anything around him. And for school projects now, I have to go out and buy things, and because my mom's out running errands, my dad has to teach me. And I could be driving by now, but whenever I bring that up, he goes all freakoid on me. All the promises he's never kept --From I'm gonna give you money to go do this to I'm gonna teach you this and he never did it to I know I have some weights in the garage and never gets them. Now, when I was in the car with him today to get stuff I absolutely needed, I brought up some of this stuff PLEASANTLY so he couldn't escape the situation. He starts telling me all his problems and gets all passive-aggressive and I tell him I never spend time with him because I hate him!
2007-03-24 10:48:44 · 10 answers · asked by ×ithurtsogoodØ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He won't even let me spend my freakin own money! I have enough money to get all this stuff I've wanted my entire life! And he's all like, "Well, I'll have to talk it over with your mom!" WHEN IT'S MY MONEY!!!!!!!!!!! I wanna run away so bad! THIS IS RETARTED!
2007-03-24 10:50:39 · update #1
ok, the first answer is good.
2007-03-24 10:55:44 · update #2
i dont get an allowance. i dont get nething from them
2007-03-24 10:56:52 · update #3
and you CAN have a job without having a CAR!!! duh!
2007-03-24 10:58:02 · update #4
ok, counseling is stupid! we're not that bad.
2007-03-24 11:05:18 · update #5
There's a lot going on here. First, just relax a bit. This has taken years to build up.so it isn't going to be resolved in a day.
If you feel you have a good relationship with your mother (remember she has to cope with your dad's moods too) ask her to sit quietly and have a talk with you to see if you two can work together to start a communication with your dad.
I f you and she do not have a good comfort level, you would do yourself a favor if you had a talk with someone you respect, any adult who you think is removed from the scene and you can get comfortable with, a school counselor, a minister or rabbi, a favorite teacher, a doctor, or any leader whom you trust.
Your dad probably is going through things he is unable to cope with and is taking it out on you and your Mom because he is unable to go to someone for advice and help.
You can reach this level of maturity before he does. Just do it. And you know what, after you get a few of these skills, he may see you as a good example and try to quietly change himself.
Be patient. In a few years, you will not remember how long it took but you will remember if you do something rash. Good Luck.
2007-03-24 11:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down. Your anger is only hurting you - so take a deep breath and just listen: You need to talk this out with an adult you can trust and who cares about you. Your dad probably has greater problems than you can imagine, and he is, very likely, doing the best he can with what he has.
Talk with your mom, as well. The two of you should be able to come up with some good ideas to help you with your problems with your dad. And, most importantly, watch what you say. Words wound.
You need help dealing with your anger, and you deserve help. Do what you must to get the help you deserve.
Go for it!
2007-03-24 18:01:20 · answer #2 · answered by MomBear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Open a savings account, and make a mental committment that you will be moving out at age 18 and there is nothing he can do. Talk to a school counselor to help you plan for this and weigh out the pros and cons of leaving. My 18 year old left and felt put-out that we laid down rules for her to follow. Honestly, we are all happier now. You do have choices once your 18, for now, just be respectful and realize he probably only wants the best for you even though it doesn't feel that way. Best wishes.
2007-03-24 18:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Sounds like you're going through a lot right now and that can be difficult. Sometimes I think parents forget what it was like to be your age. He might have a lot going on and his child hood might have sucked but maybe you should remind him that this is your time and you are his responsibility and unless he wants you to lose yourself or get lost on the streets he should take the job serious. If not you may just leave to heard and that is something he doesn't want but might not realize... Hang in there.
2007-03-24 18:02:51 · answer #4 · answered by rosser_girl_68 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Not old to enough to spend your own money on something you've wanted your "WHOLE LIFE" I assume... unless you are 30 - then you need to move out. Just bight your tongue until you are old enough to make it on your own - then you can do what you want. Where did you get your money? Do you have a job without that drivers license? Or is it an allowance your parents gave you? Technically they get to determine how you spend that or they can stop giving it to you. Slow down and consider their side... it's tough being a parent.
2007-03-24 17:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by lucki female 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. he doesnt seem like a good person. Just try to deal with it. i mean, you cant change who he is but make it a lesson to never be like him. sounds like he needs therapy, seriously. maybe your whole family can go into counseling. that may help sort things out. :) good luck!
2007-03-24 17:54:48 · answer #6 · answered by Dollyrocker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you gotta live with it because i am sorta in the same as you. live with it and once your old enough leave. and dont do anything stupid to bring up a conflict because that may hurt your mom too. just live with it, and soon enough yu will be on your own.
2007-03-24 17:54:04 · answer #7 · answered by mary m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
family counseling. maybe he doesnt think you are responsible enough for a car. maybe he is busy with life, is his job tough? its hard to be a parent. talk to your mom. she has better answers than we do.
2007-03-24 18:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by CATWOMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop being so spoiled and count your blessings instead of whining. be the better person in the relationship.
2007-03-24 18:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by 6th Finger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like stand up to him it totally works for me!!!
2007-03-24 18:20:10 · answer #10 · answered by 21love! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋