Should I ditch my daycare provider?

Question

Friday, I drove up to pick up my son from daycare and my provider was sitting out on her porch reading a book *eek* - Apparently she has housekeepers clean her house each Friday, and the 2 hispanic women were inside while the kids(6-7 of them no older than 3) slept inside the playroom located downstairs(but not in direct view of the front door) - After picking him up, I started thinking...why was she outside? What if one of the kids were choking? Naturally 3 years olds can yell for help, but what about kidnapping? molestation? People are crazy now-a-days - Sure I don't know how long she was out there or if she was peeping in on them every 5 minutes, but I do know she didn't have a monitor with her...and I'm such an idiot because I didnt think about this until driving home. Even though the distance between the front door and room isn't too far, they were left unattended. Coupled with the fact his nose was dirty with boogers again(see my last question) - should I dump this provider?

also, the time I picked him up was 2:30pm - she said they come at 11:30am(the housekeepers) so they were on their way out when I arrived(after vacumming the stairs - how would she heard a kid over that) - she said they come every friday(which I didn't know) - *just wanted to give more details about this situation

also she is not a stranger, my family knows her as we all attend the same church - I've always felt she is a nice person but i'm worried that her 6-8 kid intake with no helper is too much for her...I hate that she doesnt keep his nose clean throughout the day

*answers to some of the replyies left* - there is no "Basement" - I never used that word, the kids play/sleep/usually stay in the downstairs bedroom ; also my son is only 1 yrs old. just because providers can watch up to 11 kids, doesn't make that right or does it mean one person can do that successfully. i really don't need answers from extreme pro-daycare advocates. please look at the situation from a bias perspective, then give your input. don't base it on your mom's daycare or how you grew up, because people and times are now different!

Answer 1

I'd be uncomfortable with this... the children should be in her view at all times, sleeping or not. Of course, when you run a home daycare this is not always possible (you have to go to the bathroom sometime!), but you should make every conceivable effort to do so. Even if she was just in another room of the house, she should have some kind of monitor or TV monitoring system set up to keep an eye on them. And, if there is anyone else in the house while the children she cares for are there- you, as the parent, HAVE to be notified. Even if she has an exterminator, cable repair guy, or dishwasher technician in the house, she has to give parents advance warning (unless it is an emergency, in which case, she should call parents or notify them when the child is picked up). It is actually against licensing (check with your state) to have persons who have not cleared federal fingerprint clearance of the FBI and Child Abuse Index in the house during the hours of operation (other than the parents of the children being watched). But this would include regular visitors such as weekly housecleaners, and spouses/adult children of the caregiver. On another note, if the housecleaners are in the home, at the same time as the children, they should not be using chemicals. Heavy cleaning of the house should be done after the children leave for the day. She either needs to arrange for the housekeepers to come later, after closing hours, or on a weekend. No one who is not authorized to be there, should not be there when the children are present. Talk to the care provider about your comfort level with this situation, and ask her to change the cleaning schedule and her monitoring methods. All you need to do to convince her, is to look up the licensing information on the subject for your state... there is a section specifically for home daycare providers that lists all the regulations. It is in your child's best interests to know all the people who will be in contact with your child during the time they are away from you.

Answer 2

My mom has done daycare all her life. My mom will go outside or upstairs and do other stuff while the children are napping. She had to clean other stuff and get paper work done. Nap time is essentially her break. She is most likely checking on them quite a bit. In the 15- 20 years my mom has done daycare she has never carried a monitor with her.
You didn't mention how old your son is.
I went and read you othe question. Ok Your provider is most likely wiping his nose more then once a day. Kid's noses are always dirty. What parents don't understand is how busy a provider really is. I think you are overreacting a bit.
No I dont think you should dump your provider. Unless you intend on staying home and taking care of your son. Because believe me his nose being dirty when you get there is the least of the problems you could come in contact with if you change providers.
BTW your provider isn't required to have a helper if she has under 11 kids..
You being a first time mother I also think you are just being over protective. Plus my mom still does daycare. She has a helper now and has 20 kids that they watch together. Can you honestly tell me you watch your son 24/7 even while he is sleeping? If not then how can you expect her to watch your childs every move along with 7 others.


(f) Awake infants and toddlers must be within sight and sound of the provider at all times. Napping children who are not within sight of the provider, must be within easy hearing distance at all times, and must be checked on every few minutes.

Also: Section 1. Rules relating specifically to Family Child Care Centers.


A home setting in which child care is provided for a maximum of fifteen (15) children for part of a day in a residential or commercial type structure

Answer 3

If you feel uneasy leaving your kid with your daycare provider, yes. It'd be horrible if you had to worry about what your daycare provider was doing every second of the day from the time you drop your kid off to the time to the time you pick him up again. Get someone you can trust more. Even if she is wonderful with them, if you feel this can happen again, get another daycare provider.

But you should first ask your daycare provider what happened. How she was handling the situation. Was she checking in on them? Was she just out for some fresh air? It can be quite suffocating to be locked in with little children for a long time so maybe she was out for two minutes and was planning on going back in.

Answer 4

First and formost, is she licensed? With so many children in her care, I'd say not. Secondly, do you want advice or do you have an answer that you just want confirmed by someone else?

My best advice is to get him out of there yesterday! She obviously is not responsible or she'd not take on that many children with no helper. And to sit on a porch and read while all these youngsters are alone in the house with housekeepers is ridiculous.

What if the house caught fire, how would she get all these children out safely? A hundred things go through my head and none of them are pleasant.

Your child (as well as the others) are our future and we need to provide them a safe enviornment - and ma'am, this is not safe. This woman needs reported immediately for putting all these children in danger. And the mothers who continue to allow their child to stay there need reported as well.

Answer 5

Well I am very very picky about my daycare. I think you should talk to her about how that makes you feel and if she doesn't react in a way that makes feel prefectly comfortable with bringing your child back to the daycare...drop her. I am so paranoid about people doing things to my son so I know how you feel. Is this the first time she has messed up??? I don't believe in second chance when I comes to my son but you may be different. I finally found a great daycare for my son. I think it was my determination and being completely unwilling to compromise that got me to my current daycare. You really have to follow your gut. Your a mom so you have that motherly insinct. Use it. Do you feel comfortable when you drop off your child? Or do you think about what is going on the whole day at work. If you get a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach that last all day that is your instinct screaming at you. Also if you feel the need to call and check on your child, again listen to your instinct that is what they are given to us mothers for. Don't be afraid to take control of the situation. If you want pop up over there and see if this is a routine thing. If so...ba bye see ya later.

Answer 6

I think you should look for somewhere you feel comfortable. As a perk teacher, I would never leave a group of 3yr ODs unsupervised. She could read in the room where the kids are sleeping or be right outside the door or something. I doubt anything would ever happen, but I believe that there are rules and regulations around daycare providers set by each state, and I would bet that supervision is one of them. I wouldn't 'go after' her or anything, but I would begin looking elsewhere. You may even want to, politely, let her know your concerns. If you chose to mention it to her, I wouldn't get dramatic about it (molestation, etc) but would keep it to the fact that they were not supervised made you feel uncomfortable. Parents, of course, can leave children asleep in their own rooms, but as a provider or caretaker, I would never want to do that when responsible for other people's children. Unless a quick run to the bathroom or something.

Answer 7

Well obviously this really bothers you and for good reason, I to would be concerned for if this is what yoiu caught her doing at that time, what else does she nto do while inside.. This shows the sitter or provder of your child is not as resposiable as she should, and by showing this directly to you by mere accident I am sure on her part, shows carelessness, and on another hand, ok the kids are in the basement , how long are they there for alone, in one day, does she even watch teh children at all or just puts them in the basement and goes about her business.. I would if I were you do one of two things do regular spot checks, I am not talking about going there knocking on the door letting her know your coming your child is in that house there for, walk in and see what she is doing right at that moment, do it several times at differant time of the day differant days of the week or month, don't make them obvious either, just choose to getoff early one or two days a month and go get your child early.... if you catch her doing thing she should not be doing while watching your child when you do this then obviously yes you want to change providers, however if you don't want to do or can not do all that work, I would defently change now and alert other parents that have children there to keep an eye out for that sitter ..... as if something is going on that should not be .... or she isn't doing what she should be doing .... then they to will be grateful to you for telling them and letting them know what happened.... in any event please if you have a bad feeling then you need to do it, as usually a mothers gut feelings are there for a reason and are usually right.

Answer 8

If you feel at all uneasy about the situation, you should find someone else. You don't want to spend every second you are away from your son worrying about whether he is okay or not. It sounds like she has too many kids to care for, and there was no reason for her to be outside. Furthermore, what do you know about the housekeepers? I hate to say it, but you really can't trust anyone anymore. If something did happen, your provider wouldn't even know. Good luck!

Answer 9

My housekeeper comes thrusdays and my son sleeps upstairs while the nanny stays downstairs with her daughter. I think you are over-reacting. I find it can make the cleaning people very uncomfortable to have someone hovering over them.. and if all the children were sleeping I see no reason why she couldn't go on the porch to read for a few minutes.

Answer 10

Well, as a brand new mother, i definitely would. She is supposed to be in the room at all times. (i had a few co-ops in daycare during college) I could be wrong tho, but I'm sure the children can not be left unattended.

But before taking any drastic measures, talk to your provider. Ask her questions, if your not satisfied with her answers, then withdraw your son from her daycare.

Good Luck