I went out on a first date w/a guy that I'm really physically attracted to. I met him through craigslist so I didn't know him previously. We met for a cocktail at happy hour on a friday. We really seemed to click but I could tell that he was disappointed that I wouldn't go w/him for a glass of wine at his home. I tried to minimize it by telling him that I wasn't worried about him, I was worried about me - it was the truth, I'm really attracted to him! Since that time we've exchanged e-mails and he asked me what I wanted to do next. I suggested going to a wine bar - my treat - but I suspect that he's really looking for something physical. We're both in our late 30s. My practical side says wait, but my, well, you know, says go for it girl. But I'm worried that getting physical so early might doom the relationship. What do you think?
2007-03-24 10:09:21 · 6 answers · asked by risky girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do what's comfortable for you. If he just wants to sleep with you, he's a cad (or basically not what you're looking for). If he isn't patient yet in his 30s he's bad news and won't change. Give him one more chance and if he behaves badly cut him loose. Guys who want sex right away usually aren't looking for anything long-term. On the other hand, guys sometimes test to see how fast the girl will sleep with him, so maybe that's part of what he's doing. Just see him 1-2x more, see how it goes, and if you don't feel comfortable don't see him anymore. Only get physical when you're 100% ready.
2007-03-24 10:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by Principessa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe in having a physical relationship before marriage. That may seem old fashioned to some, but that is the safest way to conduct oneself.
If you want to develop a relationship with this man, jumping into a sexual relationship is only going to tell you that he is a cad, and you are going to end up feeling used.
If you just want a fling, then that is your decision, but I would be wondering how many other flings have been or will be.
Physical attractiveness does not a quality partner make, in life or in bed.
Have you done extensive background checks on this man? You met him on the computer? You are begging for trouble. Please slow down, you sound desperate and that is not attractive on anyone.
2007-03-24 17:26:23 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're really into him, and you want to go forward in that way; then I would probably recommend you wait at least two months or a month. If he isn't willing to wait that long then he's an ---hole. But this way, you get to figure out if he's a good guy or rather more of a friend and what not... It's usually a reasonable time period.
2007-03-24 17:15:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
guys that pressure you into doing things you don't want to are not worth the effort..he was really interested in getting to know you he wouldn't push for the physical so early on..sounds like he just wanted a one night stand.
2007-03-24 17:29:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your just wanting to get laid, go for it.
If your looking for a long term relationship, you won't get it here.
How many others do you think he has met?
Just because your in your thirties, don't make you desperate, take your time, and find a nice guy that has higher morals.
2007-03-24 17:15:52 · answer #5 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're in your 30's. If you feel that physical thing, you understand your body and can separate love wants from physical needs. I say go for it if you think he is mature too.
2007-03-24 17:15:29 · answer #6 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋