2007-03-24 10:01:40 · 31 answers · asked by Victor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's not the "forgiving" part it's the not being able to forget*
that would have to be "cheating"....Not acceptable in my books*
2007-03-24 10:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by friskymisty01 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in my second marriage. My first marriage lasted about 8 years. I was only 16 when I became involved with number 1 husband so I was very young. I spent much of my time making babies and ended up with four children from that marriage. When you are young you are willing to put up with just about anything from your partner. You are so naive. I believed that the more I withstood in my marriage, the more I forgave, the more I loved unconditionally, it would make my husband love me even more but in the end I learned that I did just the opposite. When you give yourself entirely to someone you lose yourself. That person loses respect for you. You give them nothing to work for. Obviously my marriage failed. If I knew then what I know now things would have been SO different. It's true when they say that with age comes wisdom.
I have been married to husband number two for nearly 17 years. The difference between this marriage and the last is like night and day. I can't imagine NOT having this person in my life. I don't spend my days worrying whether or not my husband loves me, I just know it. FORGIVENESS has played a huge part in why this marriage has grown. You need to forgive your partner for being human, for basic human failures. Don't expect a bed of roses, it's unrealistic. I think that everything can be forgiven ONCE. If your partner truly loves you and truly wants to be a partner to you then he or she will seriously change whatever horrible thing they may have done. The one most horrid thing in a relationship is going outside of that relationship in a sexual way or in ANY way with someone else. That is the one thing that can FEEL unforgiveable. Again, everyone should be forgiven ONCE. If it happens again, pack your bags and run. There is no excuse for it EVER happening again.
2007-03-24 17:20:23 · answer #2 · answered by blakta2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had alot of things done to me over time. There was always a reason, and there was always a way for me to understand why they'd done what they'd done.
I don't think I've come across something wholly unforgiveable yet. I'm not sure there's any such thing... that may make me sound like a doormat, but forgiveness is not necessarily taking someone back and cherishing them forever, is it?
So I think just about anything is forgiveable... but there are a few things that I'm not sure I'd be able to work through to make a relationship -work- after they'd been done. The biggest one is not cheating, though. The biggest one is saying "I love you" to someone else.
2007-03-24 17:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by auqakuh1123 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. I'm reasonable within limits. About nearly anything can tip the scales in a relationship because love and trust in a relationship can be shattered so easily and so hard to regain them back.
I would have a several things...
1. Not being able to trust me to understand your position. i.e. if my lover flirted with another woman and decided to not tell me because it would make me upset. And I heard from one of my friends, I would feel upset and demeaned that he doesn't trust me to be reasonable with a problem, but less upset because he flirted with someone.
2. Cheating on me. It doesn't matter if it was the first time, the first time, just tells me how serious and how much they value my relationship with him.
3. Not being reasonable to understand and be sympathetic towards me. There are times when a girl needs to do things without having everything become a competition with her lover. i.e. friends v.s. lover; my values v.s. lover
2007-03-24 17:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by whiteaspiration 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse and cheating
If someone cheats you are able to forgive them but only if they tell you in my book if not their not worth your time. Abuse is a different story. If someone loves you they would definitely not try to physically hurt you. Abuse is just unforgivable, i mean think about the trauma you would be causing the person being abused
2007-03-24 17:09:47 · answer #5 · answered by Olivia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lying, or lying by ommission of the truth. Nothing pisses me off more and makes me bounce quicker than people not being upfront. I'm such an open-minded person that I usually don't trip about stupid stuff. But if you hide something that's serious (not just cheating, but random things too), I get very upset....
That reminds me, I need to go spy on my guy. Damn foreigners!
2007-03-24 17:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people are not able to forgive, because they do not want to be hurt again.
2007-03-24 17:07:02 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the relationship is abusive then i would not forgive him ( a guy who will do it once will do it again) and if they cheat........( cause if he loves you then the onley person he would ever want to be with is you..)
2007-03-24 17:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most improtantly you need to evaluate your relationship with you partner. Cheating yes is the ultimate disrespect. But I would have to say a LIAR.
2007-03-24 17:43:41 · answer #9 · answered by TORI J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think cheating would be hard if not impossible for me to get over. Even if it was in a set of circumstances like he was drunk, I'd still be like "oh so you couldn't see it wasn't me?" etc., and if I forgave I'd always worry that since I forgave once he'd do it again to see if he could get away with it again, etc.
2007-03-24 17:06:02 · answer #10 · answered by Principessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋