what do i do when my hubbys step mom treats our son differently than her own grandchildren?

Question

my hubbys stepmom treats our son differently than her real daughter's three son's. what am i suppose to do?

Answer 1

tell ur hubby how u feel and if u did ask him if he could talk to his dad or u stick up the courge to tell her

Answer 2

The older people get, the morev they operate on autopilot-they just act, and do, without thinking, and become more and more set in their ways. We often need our behavior called to our attention to keep it in check and avoid hurting others. You and your husband need to talk to her. If it's just you doing the talking she might think you are just being hypersensitive. But coming from the both of you, it'll be clear that you are a united front and you are serious about your children feeling loved. But try not to attack her. When people feel attacked, they go blind to their own faults and will automatically turn things around to make them someone else's fault. They attack back. Approach her with the benefit of the doubt. Let her know that the kids view her as their grandmother and that you know she returns the feelings (even if that ISN'T something you know, just say it, it may guilt her back into reality), but that sometimes, it seems that the natural grandchildren get preferential treatment. Remind her that you understand that the blood relationship does create a different connection but that you just don't want your kids to be hurt. Any mother should be able to understand that. Her actions may or may not change, but the most important thing you can do is be there for your kids, so that if and when other people fail them, there will never be any doubts of YOUR love.

Answer 3

I went through it , when i was kid . my grandmother would treat the grandkids better then me, I mean for x-mas they got the great gifts , awhile I got socks and cheaps toys. I came to realize it wasnt my problem it was her's and she will have answer for the things she done on earth when she died aweful thought I know but honest. I wouldnt worry about it Just remind your son that he is loved by your husband and your parents and not everyone in life is like that.

Answer 4

Well, if it were me, I would stop letting her see him until she can deal with her own issues. She must treat your husband differently than her own daughter too. I don't see why he would want to subject his son to the same differential treatment that he must of had growing up.

Answer 5

As long as it does not happen in front of the three sons of her real daughter, and it does not hurt anyone's feelings, there is nothing you should do. Maybe she is fond of your son. Love knows no reason .... it is just love. Don't worry.

Answer 6

talk to your husband's stepmom and ask her how she feels about your son. tell her she needs to treat him like the others.

Answer 7

there is nothing you can do to change the behavior of others.

let's face it, people are ignorant.

if she is "mean" to your son, i'd find a time when you two can be alone and let her know that, while you realize he is not her own grandson, there is no reason to treat him with disrespect.

otherwise, i guess let it slide... your son knows who LOVES and adores him, and who doesn't! he has YOU.

hugz

Answer 8

Either you or your husband should speak with her and share your concerns. She may be unaware of her actions. Give her the chnace to modify her actions with regards to your child. If her behaviour continues you will have to decide if you want to limit or end contact with his step-mother.

You can't change her action or inaction, you can only decide how you will respond.

Answer 9

nothing tell the kids she is not their grandmother and not a relative of their's

Answer 10

not much you can do, it's not right of her but is natural i guess

you can try to talk to her and see if it helps