Should I send my son to boot camp?

Question

He' starting to get out of control and I'm sure it's his "home boys" that get him to do these things. I threatened my son that I would send him to boot camp after one more chance. Of course, I keep giving him one more chance. The last straw was last week when him and his friends took bats and wrecked the neighbor's tool shed. Thankfully, the neighbors decided not to call the cops and told me that my son and his friends can pay money for a new shed. He's only 16, so he's like a baby to me and I don't want him to get hurt. I'm so afraid that he's going to end up dead on the street with the type of friends he choses to hang out with. I told him to stop hanging around them, but he says they're good friends. I am afraid of these guys. Any ideas on what I should do? What would you do in this situation?

Answer 1

First let me commend you on not giving up on your son. You are a good mother. Your son is not completely lost and it's not too late. But if you don't take action now then it will be. 16 is not a baby anymore. He is in high school and at that age most kids want to be liked more than respected. I wouldn't normally say this, but I think you shuold really consider boot camp. He is breaking the law and the only reason he isn't in serious trouble is because you have nice neighbors. If he is capable of doing that then things will only get worse as he gets older. But this is what also recommend:
While he is in boot camp he needs all of you. He needs to understand why you sent him there. You have to fight with him and not against him, but ma'am whatever you do you MUST FIGHT! Don't give up and remember things will get worse before they get better, but the sun will shine in due time! Stay faithful and pray!

Answer 2

You need to find out whether or not parents in your city can voluntarily have their kids to go 'boot camp' There's not even a program like that where I live, but in the next town over, you can't have your child go there unless he's been in trouble with the law. I know you love your son, but if this is what's best for him, then I'd send him. I personally believe the neighbors should have called the police, because maybe this is just what your son needs to straighten up. If he keeps getting away with it, he'll keep on doing it. Your son's life is at danger. You still have time to get him help. Put your foot down. He'll be 18 soon and if he's still getting into trouble the punishment will be a lot more severe as an adult than as a juvenille he is now.

Hodgie, I think she's meaning a boot camp for juvenille offenders, not the military! With the trouble he's getting into, he won't be able to enlist.

Answer 3

You're THANKFUL they didnt call the cops????!!!! well, you SHOULD have! He needs to know that you arent playing with him! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HIS TICKET TO BOOT CAMP. What he did with his friends was inexcusable! And the bad part is, is that this sounds like it's just the tip of the iceberg. He's out here causing destruction to other people property and you do NOTHING but threaten him. Get a Back Bone! Kids are here to learn to be responsible adults and you arent teaching him a thing other than he doesn't have to take you seriously. Make him go do some community service. Call Juvy! Put him on Punishment! No allowance! no phone, no friends, no nothing!Do something!!!!!! Jail might have scared him straight, but now the opportunity is gone.
WE DONT NEED MORE CRIMINALS ON THE STREET, ESPECIALLY THE ONES WHERE THEY ARE NOT EVEN HELD RESPONSIBLE BY THE PARENTS THAT ARE RAIISING THEM!

Answer 4

When one of my children was out of control I took them to Child Services and then to court for being what's legally called an "unruly" child. She was temporarily put in state's custody; put in a shelter from which she ran. After 14 runs, I sent her to a wilderness program where she lived in an army tent WAAAYYY up in a 6000 acre woods. They dug their own privy holes, cooked over an open fire with wood they gathered, and lived 24/7 reality therapy! It was a fantastic program and in 11 months, she came home a changed kid! She is now a wife and mother of six children, a licensed foster care provider, and a wonderful Christian woman that I'm so proud of. Sending her away was very hard but she wasn't a throw-away child and I refused to give up on her. I wasn't afraid to get help when all her daddy and I could do didn't work. Your son is not a baby; he's almost legally an adult. If he's headed for serious trouble, get all the help you can while there's still time! It may save his life.

Answer 5

Honestly, I don't think boot camp is the way to go right at this point. I think that there needs to be some consequences for what he is doing. Sending a child away that obviously needs attention doesn't seem the thing to do. I think that he does need to get some help, maybe tell him he has to get involved in some community activities that will surround him with better peers. Let him know that this is his choice, that he can get involved or hed can get out. Most importantly let him know that you still love him.

Answer 6

Not to sound rude or make you look bad but most of the time its the parents fault. Because you don't spend enough time with might be the problom.He probably thinks thats the only way he can get attention from you and his dad so he gets in troble all the time. But im not saying that you should hold him back from his social life that means alot to a teenager just try to spend more time with him but at somewhere fun like go-karts or something that he likes to do not what you like to do and if its a bad thing then just tell him that he shouldent be doing that. And suggest something else that he would like to do but don't go with him and his friends cause (no affense you might embarrase him) and then he might not want to see you anymore.JUst go to the movies let him pick out a movie that he wants to see and watch it with him.It made a big differance with my son.

Answer 7

You shouldn't send him off.
But be limited.
He might be hanging out with them because he feels preasured, or caged with the life he is having at school.
Try and get him to find something he is passionate about.
Like a sport, art ext.ext.
That will take his mind off things, and mabye he will get closer.
My 15 year old son, is going through the same thing right now, but he's tooken a real liking to art, so we paint together somedays, take classes.
And sometimes he even paints with his little sisters.
Try to talk to him about it, give him all the resons why it's moraly wrong to act this way. Also tell him how worried you are about him.
But don't make him feel to preasured.

Answer 8

I would I WISH my parents would have sent me I was mean mean to others my parents and it only got worse .He is 16 either tell him to get right or off to camp don't threaten it DO IT get pamphlets on a few places then leave them out so he can see you are not joking around .Then if this continues he hopefully will have flipped through a pamphlet or 2 and tell him that you plan on going to check one out soon TAKE HIM to go look at these places let him see how it is and mabe he will be a helluva soldier .My hubby wanted to go to boot camp lol now he has 12 years AD marines and army and is stationed in Afghanistan and LOVES IT (not Afghanistan the Army)
I wish you luck Lots of it Prayers too

Answer 9

I think its really important as a parent when you make a threat (or consequence) to follow through. If you let your kid slip by, always giving him a second chance, he never will learn. I think that, if your son is truly out of control, you should keep your word and send him. But I would do a lot of research and maybe try to find a place closer to home so you can visit him.

Answer 10

Tough love.

So far, all he has learned is that there is no consequence for his actions. Something we both know is false.

Someday, someone WILL call the cops and you will not be able to talk them out of it. It will be too late then.

To avoid retribution from the gang, frankly, I'd move AND send my son to boot camp. That way, you are safe. And when he gets home, he will not fall back into the same old ways with the same guys.