Was I rude ?

Question

My husbands mother never babysits for us but always sits for her daughters son.I asked her to have my sons for two hours so we could attend a meal for my nephews 21st.She said she did not have any plans but did not want to commit to babysitting I assured her we would collect children by 8pm so she could go out after that but she did not want to commit.I feel bad letting my nephew down his meal is in a restraunt not suitable for young children 4 and 5 and they would not eat the food .Do you think I was rude to ask as it really was a one off.

Answer 1

no u were not rude to ask-they are her grandkids. and its not like she wont babysit for anyone. id try find out why she wont look after your kids but she'll look after her other grandchild

Answer 2

I do not think it was rude, and I would guess that your nephew would understand. If the party was in a restaurant not suitable for young children and you were unable to get a sitter, that is completely understandable.

As for your mother in law not being willing to sit for your kids, but does sit for other grandchildren, what is the reasoning? Does she tend to favor the other grandchildren over yours? I know in our family it took a long time for my mother in law to not favor the other grandchildren over our kids. My husband has a brother that has been married 6 years longer than us, and they have 4 (5th on the way) beautiful almost perfect chidlren that look just like them. We on the other hand are not able to have our own children and so our children are adopted or foster children. My parents took them in right away as their grandchildren, and his parents wouldn't even hold our little girl when they met her the first time. I actually asked them and they said no! So I would try and find the reason for why she is not willing to sit for your children but does for the others. Now that our children all have their last name it is better, but still not great!

Answer 3

I don't think you were being rude at all. Your mom-in-law could have simply said 'no' if she didn't want to babysit instead of claiming 'she has no plans but doesn't want to commit' (i.e. stringing you along).
If she's more than willing to look after her other grandson then why not yours? It's blatant favouritism in my opinion. You only asked for 2 hours of her time, quality time she could have had with her grandchildren.

If anyone was being rude it was your mom-in-law. She should treat all of her grandchildren the same and not single one out as a favorite.

Answer 4

No you wer'ent rude, and I know how you feel cos I don't like asking mine either after the last time I asked. I really wanted to go to a simpy Red concert this is 5 years ago. My mother in law said No cos she lives on the other side of the city and it was too far to travel. I have never asked since, and still won't. 1 night out in ages, and she said No. And her own grand kids. Her loss.

Answer 5

Here is the thing you are not rude for asking but it is find of messed up that you expected her to do it. I have two children my self and I do not go or .
do really anything that my children can not do. My mother passed away 2 Mons b4 my oldest daughter was born and my father had a stroke so we my husband and I had no one but ourselves His parents are still alive but we do not talk to them much. I do know my mother in law watches her other grandchildren but has never even seen my youngest daughter who is now 6 yrs old. I doesn't bug me, if I need a sitter I will just pay one or ask a friend.

Let your mother in law make her mistakes she will realize one day and hopefully it will not be to late.

Answer 6

You wasn't rude at all.
Your mother in law is wrong to babysit the other kids but not yours.
Maybe you should talk to your husband about this, so he can talk to his Mum but don't run her down to him (men are very protective of their mums).
Why don't you get a proffesional babysitter for your nephews 21st?

Answer 7

No you were not rude to ask. Those are her grandchildren the same as other grandchildren she has. If your children are well behaved and not the type that get out of hand, then the mother in law is being partial. I think you should ask her why she does this. If you get no results then have your husband talk to her. After all she is his mother.

Answer 8

Rude? No, not at all. Most Grandparents love to have the kids round and it sounds as if you never make a habit of it so it's definitely not rude. You are entitled to leave the children every once in a while, I don't think you've done anything wrong.

Answer 9

no you were not being rude she is your family and should understand that you can not take small children to a restaurant an it was very important to you because as you said it was your nephews 21st he is also family an i now what it like you want to relax ,an celebrate it you did also say you would pick your children up so she can go out after ,that does sound reasonable,she is the one being rude .

Answer 10

No way were you rude! Your mother in law is the rude one! Whats so different about your kids to her other grand kids? If she can babysit for them, why cant she babysit for yours? Don't let her feel make you feel rude for asking her. Thats what granparents are for, or so i thought! Hope you manage to get someone else to watch your kids, someone who wont begrudge you a couple of hours out!!!

Answer 11

you were not rude at all. i think it is rude that she will babysit one of her grandchildren but not the others. she sounds pretty ridiculous if you ask me and a bit of a *****... i think if you can get another sitter (ask your kids parents for reccomendations, then if you find a good sitter you never have to ask your mother in law again) you should and go to the dinner instead of dissapointing your nephew. good luck!!