this stupid white lady?

Question

i went to the store to buy something and as i was pulling up to park this lady about 55 yrs old yelled ay me and said "won't you turn it up a lil louder" i turned my music down and said "sorry excuse me" with a smile of course--
she gave me a dirty look and said "won't you go back to the ghetto you came from" i was shocked i didn't do anything to this lady . all it was my music was loud . i don't know why she did this i could of kicked her butt or swore at her but my morals would not allow me . so i said listen lady this is America i do what i want" my little brother walked out of the car and looked at her poor lady almost peed her pants and drove off . he wasn't gonna do anything he's just a big guy that looks like he is up to something . anyway my question is who is wrong ? or did i violate her or did she violate me ?

Answer 1

She was very rude! Nothing wrong with playing loud music during the daytime as long as you turn it down when it bothers people -as you did. If we can't even play music or do anything just because it *might* offend someone, we'd all have to walk on eggshells all day long... She was completely rude for reacting like that after you turned your music down and apologised to her, regardless of how many people may've ignored her request in the past. You did NOT ignore her so she had NO reason to still respond in that manner.

Btw, I used to play my music loud on my car radio/tape recorder when I was younger, and I'm white. So did most of my college friends of any race. So she's not only rude but she doesn't know what she's talking about either. :P

Answer 2

She had no right being sarcastic in asking you to turn your music up, you were at a public place, I could understand if you were at her house, or in her driveway.

She was 100% wrong and 200% brave or 300% crazy, as a middle age white woman to tell you to go back to the ghetto where you belonged.

After that comment, I probably would have caught a case. Especially after you said sorry, and turned the music down, she was so WRONG.

However, I am proud of you that you did not go off on her, I probably would have at least verbally assaulted her, but you remained the BIGGER FIGURE, and remember this you did nothing wrong. Nothing to feel bad about.

The law of Karma will work its way with that woman, she is probably just miserable and had to pick on someone that day, but it seems like she got more than she bargained for when your brother got out of the car.

Oh well, bet she doesn't talk crazy to anyone else.

Answer 3

Wow you are a little racist with a chip on her shoulder aren't you?

You posted earlier that Chinese people were annoying
You also mention the lady is white. What does that have to do with anything?
The reason she told you to return to the ghetto is because of your boorish behavior.

Let us assume she is rude. She is rude because she made you listen to something you did not want to hear. Perhaps you found it offensive. She only bothered you. You, on driving to the store bothered everyone who was driving when you stopped at a light and bothered pedestrians who didn't want to listen to your music or were talking on the phone.

Yes, to some degree, you can be as annoying as you want in America. The indifference you have towards others does say something about your character though.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, this woman's was a racist. Her attitude was out of line, however, it is my opinion that any ones loud music in a parking lot, or any other public place with people, is rude and a scream for attention. Notice me, I feel like being noticed kind of thing. If I want loud music, I turn it up at home. If I want to drive around I go out in the country or freeway where I don't really bother anyone. So I guess you were both a little rude but you handled it better than that woman for sure.

Answer 5

You were both wrong. You for playing your music too loud. its a society where people don't have the right to infringe on others. But when she said what she said you did turn it down, she should have shut up right then and went on her way. Instead she made an ignorant comment that put her firmly in the wrong.

so your were wrong but she was more in the wrong by the time the situation ended

Answer 6

You showed that you have manners by apologizing, smiling, and turning it down. If she acts rude to you after you tried to rectify this situation, then she has a problem and not you. However, I don't think your brother should have intimidated her by walking up to her. We are taught to respect our elders, but sometimes the elder people can be rude and annoying. If this happens just leave it alone, because they only act like that because they are alone. Keep being respectful to your elders.

Answer 7

Both. It is rude to play your music so loudly that it bothers other people. Your right to swing your arm ends where someone else's nose begins. That means that you have a right to do what you want in America as long as it doesn't bother someone else, within reason. The lady was rude by talking to you so harshly. It is one thing to make someone aware that their behavior is offensive and quite another to be hateful about it. Your little brother needs to be aware that his size is intimidating, and not use that to purposely intimidate little old ladies. It's rude.

Answer 8

Both of you were wrong. You were wrong first for playing music too loud. In doing so, you impose your taste of music on other people. Imagine I play extremely loud Chinese music next to you! She's for sure a racist.

Answer 9

I certainly don't think you violated her. If your music was loud: so be it. Someone complained - you turned the volume down and apologized. That should have been the end of that. For this *person* (you're a nicer woman than I am; I would not refer to her as a 'lady') then to say something highly inappropriate to you, is unforgivable. You're right to be shocked and kudos to your brother for getting out the car and looking tough! I think I would have knocked her out. You're impossibly polite. And you absolutely did the right thing.

Answer 10

I don't appreciate loud music coming from cars, but the ghetto remark was very uncalled for.
Back to the music some songs are full of inappropriate foul language and not everyone needs to hear your taste in music.
Loud music is a adolescent thing and you will grow out of it.
Again I would like to apologies for that" ladies " racial slur.