he doesnt do anything in our house, he never asks how i am, he doesnt listen when im talking hes lazy, overweight and treats me like rubbish but were engaged and have been together since we was 15 which is 5 years xx
2007-03-24 08:32:43 · 29 answers · asked by leanne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
oh sorry i forgot to say i was pregnant 2 weeks ago and i miscarried the baby and he hasnt even aknowlegded what happened he just said so what
2007-03-24 09:03:54 · update #1
You've been together for 5yrs and he's done nothing but get fat treats you like rubbish and your still engaged? Sweetheart I'll make you a better offer. How about I give you 10yrs of service like that instead of 5?
2007-03-24 08:41:00 · answer #1 · answered by johnnie b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've obviously been trying to set some kind of local record on relationship longevity. Time to call it a day if you're not bothered. Otherwise, if you're the cook of the house, feed him healthy stuff and bring him to the gym with you. Relationship is a group effort. Doing things around him (cleaning, cooking, waiting hand and foot) isn't necessarily doing stuff for him. He needs time to grow up and be independant and being in a relationship for so long maybe is a hindrance to that, he's probably used to being looked after at home and has gotten too comfortable. 2 choices 1.Leave him, temporarily or permenently, but be clear which it is and give the reasons. Give him a deadline to show an improvement. This behaviour (laziness) isn't designed to disrespect you, it's actually a sign that he doesn't respect himself. so option 2 is figure out what get's him going and lead him in that direction. If he likes footy, get one of his mates to set up a five a side. Get the blood pumping. Be a tease to get him to do stuff for you. You have to be clever about it. It's a very subtle thing.
Either way, give him more space as in make yourself unavailable to do all the housework you've been doing up to now and if things don't improve, make yourself even more unavailable, that might make him more willing to talk at least and then you can state your point, that it's not your job to be maid.
2007-03-24 08:52:26 · answer #2 · answered by bavwill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're only twenty and thinking of settling down with someone who takes you for granted? Are you mad? Forget the fact that you are engaged. If you really truly love this guy sit him down and tell him exactly what he is doing that makes you unhappy, and what you expect him to do about it. If you are not sure you love him, it might be a good idea to take a break from the relationship, and explore other options. Even just to give him a wake up call.
But the best part about being young is being single and free to accept admiration and embark on the extremely exciting and fun start of a relationship over and over again until you get it right.
The best advice my mother ever gave me was to never stop keeping an eye out for somebody better. It not only neables you to expect more from your partner, and complain when you don't get it, but it also keeps him on his toes, if he knows this is your attitude.
2007-03-24 08:46:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to stay with him if you "feel" that you have had enough. It is always "your" choice. However, the fact that you are asking this question means that you still have some feelings for this man. He doesn't ask you how you are but do you actually sit down and give him your complete and full attention at any time and ask him what he really wants out of life. He sounds to me that he may have slipped into a kind of depression. What is happening in his life at the moment, is he fulfilling his goals, does he have any goals in life? Is he currently being challenged at work or study or with money problems? Does he get on with his family? How does he see his future? These are questions you should put to him. Make it "all about him" and less about you. Find out if this guy is really worth being with but is momentarily going through a bit of a blip. He may turn out to be your diamond and diamonds are forever. All the best!
2007-03-24 09:03:11 · answer #4 · answered by Carol W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs a wake up call, get counseling or you are out of there. Is that really how you want to live the rest of your life. Sounds like he is a habit more than anything. You don't need that kind of love honey, forever is a long time to someone who treats you like rubbish, why go through the expense of a wedding/divorce. You miscarried a baby I am soooo sorry for your loss honey, he is a major jerk, you need to be held and reassured. Really now I think you should lose his sorry butt. He is a selfish jerk that thinks of nothing or nobody but himself. You don't need it, there is someone just perfect for you and he is not it. Do yourself a favor and lose him. You will be so much happier. Good luck honey. God bless and put angels on your pillows.
2007-03-24 08:37:40 · answer #5 · answered by fluffyflo_1999 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't care about you!!!
well at least is what it seems, he's lazy, overweight , etc... What you should think is what keeps you with him???? Do U love him?? Do you think you could leave without him?? and besides all his defects ...
Why are u still with him??
let me tell you that the time fact is not important...5 years....5 years...and he's been like this all the time....trust me he's not gonna change...and you are the one who's gonna end it up bad!!
NOW NOWW you are on time to finish this relationship before it will be too late!
I wish you the best!
there's lots of men and better than the one you have!!
leave him NOW...for your own good!
2007-03-24 08:45:17 · answer #6 · answered by Mayis 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE, YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU ALWAYS GOT.
Sweetheart if you're not happy now then most certainly marriage won't change anything. You're only 20 babe and believe me there are lots of guys out there that will pull their own weight, and carry you along for the ride. Don't sell yourself short, go out and start seeing other people, GOD don't make rubbish so there's no reason to allow someone to treat you as such.
2007-03-24 08:45:04 · answer #7 · answered by Zealot18 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leanne...Having been married and divored and re married...I can tell you one thing ...What you see is what you will get..as you can't change a tigers stripes no matter how hard you try.. it is easier all around to leave now and find a better match than to try and do it later when there are possessions and maybe kids involved...you are too young not to date others to find the proper match...This maybe a relationshp of convenience as it started young and neither of you know any other relationships...
2007-03-24 08:43:17 · answer #8 · answered by arizonaranch 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only live once... believe me the years will fly by. You owe it yourself to live them as best as you can. 5 yrs may seem like a long time, but it's nothing - you'll both easily move on at this stage. Get out now whilst you still can. If you love him too much to leave - then drag him along to relationship counselling to make him see how you feel!
2007-03-24 08:56:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u probally like him alot since u been with him for 5 years but if ur the only one that commits to the relationshp, the relationship will fall. so, even if u are engaged to him, try to figure what's best for both of you, i mean u don't want to be the only one that works, try to keep the house in control while he is just seating there. so either talk with him about it and try to find a solution or leave him try to figure out what is best
2007-03-24 08:39:57 · answer #10 · answered by jossy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋