My friend lets her 3 year old hit her all the time. The worst she'll do is maybe put her in a time out, but of course the child doesn't listen and runs off. I would have gotten the belt for that when I was younger. I'm not saying that parents should do that nowadays...but whats wrong with a little spank on the butt??
2007-03-24 08:23:06 · 9 answers · asked by Momof2 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
the problem is, too many people get involved in how someone should raise their kids, they can't just mind their own business, your friend probably wants to smack her on the heiney, but doesn't want Department of Children and Families knockin on her door
2007-03-24 08:29:07 · answer #1 · answered by jglassdude 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it's all about not knowing what to do.
There's the huge debate about spanking vs. not spanking and there's the debate of what is spanking and what is not okay, and of course the debate about what to do in general; time outs, yelling, what kind of punishment.
Parents have an idea of I will not hit spank yell at my child and when children act up and out, parents really don't know how to handle it. That turns into handling it in different ways so the child doesn't know what exactly to expect, which is a disaster.
I don't think a swat on the butt is anything bad. Many ppl would disagree. But in the case of a child hitting -, spanking probably is not the best answer at all. A firm grip and stern words, and a time out if it continues - that's what I would do.
My son does this thing where he whines when he wants attention. At almost 3, he can wait a moment. When he doesn't, he leans into me, whining. I count to three and if he does not stop, he sits in his room. He usually will come out and say, "I'm done whinin' now mom." Then I give him the attention he wanted immediately. Maybe not the best approach, but it's working for me!
If your friend was to choose one option and stick to it EVERY time, it will stop for the most part. Kids need clear boundaries.
EDIT: I heard a saying once that I love and always try to remember: Discipline is like a sandwich, love is the bread and discipline is the middle. Start with love, put in the discipline, and finish with love. That finish with love part is really important.
2007-03-24 08:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All kids are born testing their limits. When those teaching them dont punish bad behavior, the kid grows up with some serious issues.
You never heard of school shootings before the early 90's. What parents did then, and they dont do now, is tan their hydes when they push the limits too far. It only had to be done once maybe twice, but thats all it took to send the message that it wont be tolerated.
Let a highschool teacher attempt to paddle a trouble maker in school today. If the student doesnt shoot them first, their parents will, or at the very least, sue their pants off.
We wonder why society is going downhill.
2007-03-24 09:51:40 · answer #3 · answered by Dan The Answer Man 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with spanking, I have a 4 year old and sometimes even spanking doesn't work, we do a minute of timeout per year of age... which is our second resort, and it works, no little kid wants to sit and do nothing... Parents need to get control of their kids, using a hand to spank the butt only, and never NEVER spank a child when you are angry/mad. Even the bible says to not spare the rod from you children....That DOESN'T mean beat your kids with a stick, it means to keep them in control and teach them respect and discipline. If kids don't respect their parents, then their life will be filled with failure and mis-trust... TELL your friend that what the kid is doing IS NOT O.K., it never was never will be and she needs to stop it now before that kid walks all over her in the future, which will happen.
2007-03-24 08:37:58 · answer #4 · answered by J B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend sounds as though her disciplinary methods are NOT the same everytime. The proper 'time out' for the child is not done EVERY time, or the child would have learned not to do it, anymore. A smack on the butt IS wrong, as so many people have hurt their children in ways that are difficult or impossible to fix. The little 'smack' we used to get, wasn't all that 'little' to start with, if you recall. The child is not being parented well, period, if the child is hitting ANYONE. Children learn what is allowed and NOT allowed in their home. Of course, if Dad hits Mom, or Mom hits Dad, it probably won't make any sense to the child that he/she CANNOT hit and get away with it.
2007-03-24 08:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by laurel g 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My daughter tried swatting me ONE time when she was about 15 months old. She got a good spank on the butt, and magically she's never tried it since. I knew a 3 year old who hit her mom all the time, and nothing was ever done. They let her run the household, as if they were scared of her. To me those parents are now showing their children love when they do not discipline. I would be embarrassed to find out that I hit my parents when I was little. I'm glad mine loved me enough to train me right and teach me respect.
2007-03-24 08:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lindsay M 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your friend is not being firm with her child. I do use spanking as a discipline technique after all others fail. My son has been forced to stay in that corner for his full time out. This child sounds like she needs a firm hand. Not a spanking but someone that sets rules and enforces them.
2007-03-24 08:58:48 · answer #7 · answered by mrslet02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she should take a belt to that little girls butt, parents should never allow their children to hit them or anyone else. Kids today are running the show and way out of control.
2007-03-25 08:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by lulubelle55555 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is a poor parent. By the time the child is a teen, she will be a holy terror. She needs to take parenting classes. A belt is not necessary but discipline is.
2007-03-24 08:32:42 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋