last night we went to see a movie and she told me that she could pay for her share, but I didnt want her to do that so I payed for both tickets without any problem. Now tonight we are going out to eat, and once again she offered to pay for her share of it. So I told her that I will pay for it. I just wanted to know if later in the future when we go on lots of dates, would it be the right thing to allow her to pay? or should I pay until I'm in debt up to my eyeballs? we both have jobs.
2007-03-24 07:28:39 · 13 answers · asked by Ghost 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Personally, I think when you are just dating, the person doing the asking should pay. After you are boyfriend/girlfriend I think it doesn't really matter. Since she offered I would let her.
2007-03-24 07:35:20 · answer #1 · answered by DazeyChain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't pay until you are in debt up to your eyeballs. You could let her plan and pay for a date here and there. You could tell her that if she wants to pay next time, it would be fun if she planned the date too. That way she could plan what she can afford and doesn't feel pressured. You could also go dutch once and while. When you know you don't have a lot money right then, be honest and say, "I'd like to do something with you on Saturday but I'm a little broke right now. Do you mind going dutch?" Most likely, she'll appreciate the honesty and consideration. It sucks to go on a date and then be expected to pay when you didn't think you were going to.
I once had a guy tell me that he wanted to pay because he felt that if I insisted on paying that this was a way of telegraphing that I wasn't interested. I thought about it and decided that to a certain extent he is right. I'll let a guy that I like pay for everything - with a little guilt. However, I feel really uncomfortable letting a guy I'm not interested invest any money in me.
2007-03-24 14:37:57 · answer #2 · answered by chicagowoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a gentleman thing to do but if she is offering then maybe once in a while let her pay her way. Imagine what she is thinking about you paying all the time and besides if you start this paying all the time you may spoil her enough that you may be expected to pay all the time. She has a job let her pay once in a while. Nothing wrong with that. if she is offering then she will not be offended.
2007-03-24 14:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by chazzz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Next time she offers (and hopefully she does offer again), let her pay. If you're both working, there is absolutely no reason why you should be obligated to pay for everything. And if she won't help out, it's probably a sign that she's a selfish, spoiled brat. Taking turns paying or going dutch every now and then is the best way to go.
2007-03-24 14:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by paddington_ck 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is being considerate, and offering you a gentle "out", if you don't have enough money. She is also letting you know, that when and if that day arrives, that you can't pay to take her out, that she is ready and willing to pay her half.
The person who extended the invitation should pay. If finances are aproblem, try to find some non-expensive alternatives occasionally, so that you won't be in debt up to your eyeballs.
You can also pace yourself. Not every date has to be out of the house does it? I'm sure you have favorite movies, and music. Stay in sometimes. Other days, try one of not-so-pricey alternative. Mix it up.
Hope this helps!
2007-03-24 15:10:05 · answer #5 · answered by 1985 & going strong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man paying is traditional.... if you are more of a modern couple than maybe you can each pay for every other date, or maybe you can pay for all the dates you plan and she can pay for the ones she plans....
My husband and I both had jobs when we started out, and we really didn't get paid much, so we came to the agreement together that we would put so much money into each date... And if we wanted to something really expensive together we would put all our money together, ignoring who is paying for whichever part.
2007-03-24 14:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure, its called going Dutch .
If your just starting to go with someone they be more comfortable not feeling they owe you for things. If you invite her then you should be prepared to pay unless she offers.
If you want to go out but cant really afford it , then ask her if she minds going Dutch. If shes working she should be able to afford it , but not too often or very expensive .
2007-03-24 14:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by mark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been dating for a while than why not just talk to her about it. If not then let her pay and just see the kind of reaction you get. U will then know how to proceed.
2007-03-24 14:34:27 · answer #8 · answered by Tam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if u ask then u pay if she askes she payes or if u go to movies u pay for the tickets she payes for popcorn
2007-03-24 14:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by blondieb5835 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
better to go dutch from time to time... sure, what you did was great and sweet, but, as you said, you don't wanna have debts "up to your eyeballs" :P
2007-03-24 14:32:15 · answer #10 · answered by sea_star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋