I have a 10mnth old right now and Im about to have ANOTHER baby.. We found out about 2-3mnths ago. Im really worried because well they will be so close in ago and I just really wanted to give all my attention to my son. I wanted to wait until he was around 4-5 to think about another baby!! But well that didnt happen! Me and my husband dide use protection but yea that didnt work. Im not really upset about the baby Im just upset its so soon and Im scared I wont be able to give so much attention to my son that he has been getting! I would just like to know this from someone with experience or just your opinion....
Is it ALOT harder with 2 kids when they are so close to the same age?
Is my son going to be Jealous? (he'll be around 15-16mnth I THINK when I have the baby)
Am I going to be able to give my son alot of attention that he gets now even tho I have a new BABY?
If you have ANY advice or just want yo give me your opinion please go ahead!!!
2007-03-24 07:21:23 · 27 answers · asked by Sarah 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
my mom and uncle were born VERY close together, and they are best friends to this day.......... it all has to do with your organizational skills, i think you are going to be just fine :o) what's the sense in worrying though? nothing can change it, so just sit back, relax, and look forward to it all :) i think your son will be happy to have a playmate his age! things will be different, but life is full of change, and this is a great way for him to learn this lesson early on :)
2007-03-24 08:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by User Name 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all Congrats on both your son, and your second pregnancy. Just try to divide your attention between the two, I'm sure a consistent schdedule would help alot to. There are both advantages and disadvantages t have kids so close in age, one disadvantage is that your son wont be much help with the new baby lol. But there are advantages to, they may be close and friends. They can play with each other and keep each other occuppied while you do house work or cook supper or whatever. Theres plenty more advantages and kind words to say, but I'm tired of typing lol, I 've been typing a report. & worrying shows that you are a good mom, I could tell you not to stress out, but you will anyways, so thats wasted words. Everything will be fine!! If it helps look up all teh advantages of children close in age on the internet. Best of Luck! PS. Just alittle advice, wait until your body has healed before having sex, just a recomendation. good lUck!
2007-03-24 09:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by Carly 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mohter had 3 kids within 3 years---my brother and I are 18 months apart and my brothers are 15 months apart. She said that we would get jealous when the new baby came around, but as we got older, it was nice to be so close in age. We all get along great as adults.
You have to make time for your older son. Maybe sometimes your husband can take care of hte baby and you can play with your other child so he knows he is still important. Toddlers are very egocentric so he won't get that you need to spend time with the baby when he wants your undivided attention, but he will get through it as will you. Congrats and good luck!
2007-03-24 11:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by sidnee_marie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations!
I have no children, but some positive points will be you will be able to take to the same sort of thing as they are so close together they will have similar intrests, like the cinema, the park, and theme parks and they can go on the same rides, and stuff. Your son may get jealous, but if you let him help with the new baby a bit, and let your partner look after your son when you help the baby (or vice versa). Good luck with the baby!
2007-03-24 07:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My children are 18 months apart, it was deliberate, we planned it like that. The first thing my son (the older one) did when we brought my daughter home from hospital is give her a hug. I'll never forget that. I guess there are pros and cons but I have always felt positive about it. My children are extraordinarily different in their personalites but are close enough in age to be able to play together. I got the baby stage out of the way a lot quicker - there is so much paraphanalia associated with babies, whilst for a little while I was changing two sets of nappies the whole process was over sooner than I knew it. I didn't have to stop the whole baby thing and have to start it all up again. For me, it worked.
2007-03-24 07:31:23 · answer #5 · answered by G 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My friend did the same thing her daughter is 14 months old and she has a 3 week old. her biggest problem is she forgets to feed herself and even worse than that she forgets to feed her daughter. So you will need to make a "schedule" (very flexible) where you set time out for your son and it is only mommy time and he has only daddy time and he has mommy and daddy time. You newborn can fit in where ever, not trying to sound mean about that. There will be jealously but you can work around that. Try to keep you son involved by letting get diapers or help to feed the baby. It is a lot harder to have two kids period. Don't worry too much. You sound like you want to be with your kids as much as possible. You will adapt and learn how to give both your kids the attention they both need.
2007-03-24 07:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing to be worried about. I have a 2 year-old girl and 4-month old identical triplets. What I do is I pretend with my 2-year-old that they are her kids. She helps out by getting the diapers and picking out the clothes and everything and at the same time she thinks i am spending time with her instead of the babies. Now since yours is only 10 months, it may be harder to get him to help since the baby is still very young. But when you want to play with him, you can go down on the floor and play with him and at the same time have your new baby in a carseat or a playpin or something like that right next to you guys and give the new baby attention at the same time. For instance, if your son does or says something funny, you can be like hey look (babys name here). Look how silly that is or something like that.
Or you can have there nap times starting at different times so if the new one is sleeping then you can play with your son and when your son is sleeping you can give attention to your new baby.
2007-03-24 10:20:37 · answer #7 · answered by emilyanne 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i got pregnant with my second around my oldest's first birthday. they are 20 months apart. hope for the same sex so you can reuse the same things. it is a bit harder, first off, you've got a toddler who is getting into things by that time, and will be rambunctious and hyper and everything else. yes he will be jealous, but let your son call the new baby his baby, that helped travis. everyone told me i was crazy when i found out i was pregnant agian, and we were in the same sitch as you, protection failed. both times, actually...i've given both of them private nick names....oops and whoops....lol. the pregnancy will be a lot different than your first, and most likely more difficult, especially if you are a stay at home mom. if you would like more info, check out this website for moms.
http://www.cafemom.com/
my name on there is momoftraeandsky,
i have pics up and some of the current difficulties i am facing having 2 so close. there are also a lot of moms in the same boat i am in. it is more difficult, and you will deal with jealousy from the oldest, and your oldest will not get AS much attention as he's used to, but within three months that won't even matter anymore. younger kids are easier to adjust to changes and quicker to accept the changes than older kids are. that's one benifit of having them close together. besides, they will share toys and (hopefully) be closer than most because they are so close in age. my oldest loves to hold his baby and love on him and he even helps by putting bottles in the sink after i'm done with them and he loves throwing things away so i let him throw the wet diapers away (not the poopy ones, cuz i don't quite trust him to do that yet). my baby is almost 4 months old now and is constantly getting attention from someone, especially his big brother. and big brother goes around telling everyone that he's a "bee bood" (big brother) with a smile on his face.
check out the website, it's pretty cool. and keep me posted even if you don't...my e-mail should be on my profile page here.
good luck with everything.
gen
2007-03-24 10:53:06 · answer #8 · answered by genmarie04 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my babies are 12 1/2 months apart, (i was also using birth control) I was so nervous. they are 3 and 4 now and the best of friends! Of course they argue but they are so sweet together! I dont think he will be too jealous, to be honest a 4 or 5 year old would probably be more jealous since they have had more time to be the only child. When the baby is sleeping take extra time for your first one. Its a little hard at first but I wouldnt change it for anything! I actually love it!!
2007-03-24 07:33:51 · answer #9 · answered by Emily 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Firstly... congratulations.
Having your two children close together is not going to do them any harm. If you include the older child in the caring for the new baby, you can help make it easier on him.
When I had my son, we felt as you do and were very afraid that my little girl (she's almost 15 now) was going to be very jealous.
Well, we included her in the pregnancy, brought her to see her new brother's ultrasounds, had her listen to the baby's heartbeat and she would talk to my belly telling the baby what sort of games they would play.
When we brought him home from the hospital, he brought her a present, a baby doll that she could care for while I was changing his diapers or feeding him.
We didn't have any real problems until he started to initiate his independence at the age of four. By then, you should be used to having to deal with the two of them.
The best advice I can give you is to help alleviate your fears and take a parenting course. Your church or a local family group will probably offer them.
You shouldn't have to be worried, you've nothing to worry about, two thoughts come to mind...
1. God only gives us what we can handle, and
2. Be happy, bad moods will curdle your milk. ;)
2007-03-24 07:29:14 · answer #10 · answered by shoestring_louise 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi! I had the same happen to me. My daughter was 10 months old when I got pg with my son. I was really worried about being overwhelmed with them both so young. Turns out, because they are so close in age, that they get along really well, and my daughter wasn't jealous, she thought it was pretty neat to have a baby. Don't worry, it isn't as bad as you think it will be. The only challenge I found is going out of the house with the both of them as you have to carry the baby and the older one wants to run off all the time. Good luck!!!
2007-03-24 07:26:13 · answer #11 · answered by purple_lily76 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋