Please help, what do you think?

Question

I'm a Christian man who can not stand his wife. Should I tell her or just stay with her, cuz the bible says? She refuses to go to church with me and I really can not even stand to be around her. We no longer do anything together (nothing), not even sex. We have a child together and I don't want to hurt her either.

Please don't think I'm a pig but she picked up some pounds.

Answer 1

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Ephesians 5:25)

Note that "love" is used as a verb. It's a required action on your part. You have a responsibility to love your wife and your child. This is also the way to bring a great deal of happiness into your life.

I'm not underestimating the difficulty in loving someone when the relationship has been neglected by one or both parties, but commit today to love your wife by doing nice things for her daily. Ask God to help with your commitment.

It can help if you start listing her good qualities in writing and reviewing them each day. Everyone has them.

Over time she may be even able to see some of yours. :-)

Best wishes.

Answer 2

Look I'm not sure whose fault it is. It could be your fault it could be hers. At this point it makes little difference. It sounds like the situation is completely deteriorated with no hope of recovery. It is time to get a divorce for the good of all three. It cant be good for the child living in a home where two parents hate each other. And it damn well isn't good for the two of you. Get a divorce now.

Answer 3

This should have nothing to do with religion. It should have to do about what you two did wrong or could have done right and you missed it.
Try speaking to her in a calm way and make suggestions for a little break to go on vacation somewhere maybe.
The worst thing to do is leave her. Your child will be forever scarred that her parents left each other and didn't resolve their problem.

Answer 4

Have you tried talking about it with her? What about marriage counseling (and it doesn't have to be through your church.) My mother never attended my father's church (or any other church) and they have made their marriage work for over 30 years. Marriage is something you have to work at. Everyone goes through struggles in their relationship. The important thing is to try and resolve problems.

In the end, you will need to consider the child's needs, and do what is best for the child.

Answer 5

Sir, it's noble that you want to stay with your wife because the Bible says to. The Bible allows for divorce in certain situations. I too am a Christian and I divorced my husband. I am not proud of that, but I did it. The Bible's reasons for divorce did apply to me in technicality, but I divorced him because of his verbal and emotional abuse and cruelty toward me. Falling out of love with someone is not a reason to divorce, according to the teachings of the Bible. Still, it is unfair to your wife to be married to someone who can't stand her. What you are teaching your child is that marriage is an unhappy institution and your child will grow up seeing the unhealthy relationship that you have with your wife and think it is normal. To stay in such a relationship is to set the wrong example for your child and could possibly sentence your child to a similar relationship one day when he/she is grown.

If you feel that you can't communicate with your wife over the issues you mentioned, then I would talk to a therapist/counselor. I would not necessarily jump into a counseling session with a pastor of other layperson from your church. Why? Because these people are not necessarily adequately trained to counsel people with such issues. They do not necessarily have the psychological training to deal with relationship issues counseling. They will tell you what the Bible says and encourage you to stay, which is noble, yet they won't necessarily know how to give you the tools to help improve your marriage. That's where a counselor who is trained, such as a MFCC (marriage, family, and child counselor) comes in handy. If it's important to find a Christian counselor, then you can contact Focus on the Family at (800) A-FAMILY (232-6459). They can connect you with a Christian counselor in your area. Also, their website is filled with advice and articles that could be helpful for your situation.

I feel for you. That must be a very unhappy situation for you. It sounds as if you value your marriage and want to stay in it because of what the Bible says, but that you are torn and really want out of it because you are unhappy. I think that counseling can help you gain a clear perspective on what choices you should make. Nobody can tell you the right thing to do but yourself. Still, a counselor can help. As a divorced mother myself, with 2 kids, I can tell you that divorce is not easy, and it is very difficult for children. Still, if it ends up being the only option, then you have to do what is best in the long run for the sake of all concerned. It's just that nobody but you can decide what that will be.

Best wishes to you. I'll be praying for you in this situation.

Answer 6

Greetings,
The Word tells us not to be yoked unevenly. Scripture states that if one is a christian and the other has refused to come into the christian fold after the spouse has exhausted remedies to do so then a divorce is sanctioned as their partner is considered as spiritually dead thus making their partner a spiritual widower.

Answer 7

Sounds like it is time to move on my friend. You can try marriage counseling but I personally don't believe it helps. Have you tried talking with her without being religious to see what the problem is? If you would like to discuss this in greater detail, send me a message from my profile page.

Answer 8

Like two good friends of mine keep telling me you have to make yourself happy and then everything else will fall into place. One of them keeps telling me that it could in the long term cause physical problems. I suggest sitting down with her and talking to her. Then if she does not want to change tell her what you are thinking and let her know how you feel. I wish you the best of luck and many blessings to come your way.

Answer 9

Don't leave your wife.Think of your child.Try to convert your wife.Pray for her and ask your local minister to pray for her and God will help you.Don't leave her.Your child deserves a mother and a father to be there for her.

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P.S.I'll pray for you

Answer 10

Speak to your minister.But in the long run you need to decide.A wasted life is the biggest sin in my opinion.