I feel frustraded with my 11 month old. Do you have this kind of problems (please read details)?

Question

She was so easy to take care of, never fussed or anything, and one day she just started to be stubborn... She fusses and cries over everything I do! I have to struggle to comb her hair, brush her teeth, wipe her face, give her a bath, change her diaper, get her dressed, feed her... She throws in a fit, squirms, fusses...
I really don't know how to deal with her anymore! I feel like I'm taking care of a totally different child.
Is this normal? When will it get better?

Thanks for taking the time to read my question.

Answer 1

It will get better, I promise. This is a totally normal phase babies go through as they get older and strive to gain some "independance" and assert themselves. I found age one to 18 months to be very trying. Very stubborn, into everything, fought me on everything.... slowly they become more compliant. Just stay consistent, which it sounds like you are, and whenever possible let her "help" do the activity herself. For example, if you're bathing her, let her rub the shampoo in for a while. If you're brushing her teeth, let her brush her teeth for a bit herself first, before you take over. These little things may help you out in the interim. It also helps once they get more verbal and can communicate better. Good luck!!

Answer 2

This sounds like a normal phase for her age. Just to be sure it might be a good idea to visit her doctor. Some babies don't give much indication when they have ear infections, or there may be another simple explanation like teething. She also may need a little adjustment of her sleep schedule. In order to help her get through this phase, keep yourself positive, let her help as much as possible, lots of praise when she is cooperative and be consistent if she does need discipline. Sounds easy, but it takes a lot of patience. Just remember she is still your sweet girl going through a rough patch and she's just asserting her independence. There is no easy answer as to when it will get better-all kids are different. Some things to try to get daily tasks done: 1)distraction-try giving her something else to do during diaper changes or in the car 2) letting her "mirror" your actions-giving her a comb while you brush her hair, giving her a washcloth while you wash her face 3) make it into a game-be silly and put her cloths on "wrong", sing a song while brushing teeth. Pretty much the only thing I found to help "independent" eaters is lots of finger foods and letting her try feeding herself. Hopefully this gives you some ideas to help you both make it through this fussy phase! Good luck and remember to do something special for yourself!

Answer 3

It's very normal.

First of all, she's developing independence and learning to assert her own desires. And sometimes it's not a question of actual likes and dislikes -- when a child learns to say no (whether verbally or in some other fashion) they often get giddy with their own power, as it were, and the act of refusing something or saying no is something they enjoy. Experimenting with limits, power, and independence is absolutely normal.

Another thing at this age is mobility -- the more mobile a child gets the less patience the child has for sitting still for things like dressing, feeding, diaper changes, etc. It's very normal for a child at that age, whether the child is walking, crawling, or learning/practicing the skills for either, to be completely and utterly UNinterested in sitting still.

Combine the mobility issue with the more intangible independence issue, and you usually end up with a child who is fussier and more resistant to diaper changes, mealtimes, dressing...all the things that 1) limit mobility and that 2) YOU want her to do.

Also, as for the teethbrushing: she may have additional teeth coming in. My daughter cut her first molar around her first birthday -- early, apparently, and I didn't realize it at the time. But cutting a molar does not feel good. She has another one coming in now and she's been very resistant to having her teeth brushed lately. My son seems to be having one coming in -- I see no direct evidence of it but he sure isn't as cooperative with toothbrushing (and, of course, he's biting everything in sight).

(My twins are 14 months old and I'm dealing with some similar issues.)

I hope that makes sense.

Answer 4

It is totally normal for a child to do this. I have an 11 month old son, and he too was the perfect baby. He's just learning he can do things on his own. He's beginning to get his own personality. If your child is clingy like mine is, just consider the facts. You are your child's primary care-giver. If she goes to day care and is wonderful, but horrible at home, take that as a compliment. She feels secure and comfortable enough to show another side of herself to you. Don't get frustrated with her. She's just a baby and doesn't fully understand everything. Once she's capable of really doing things on her own like she wants, then things will calm down. Cheer up! Every mother and child have their differences! It only makes the bonds stronger.

Answer 5

She is just trying to exert her independence. My niece does that ALL the time now that she is a year old--especially the diaper changing thing. It's always war when that happens--she will fight to the end to sit up and NOT have to lay down to get changed. She was an angel when she was young. SInce she learned how to crawl and get around on her own--she changed. Typical of a developing child.

You have to be patient and work through it. This will continue through the toddler phase--as children become more able to do some things on their own--they will fight on the things they dont' want to do. My nephew is almost 2---and he is already in the "terrible 2s" exerting his independence on a daily basis.

Just keep your cool--and learn to be really, really FAST in combing hair, changing diapers and wiping faces. The more you struggle, the more frustrated you and your child get. You are jsut going to have to work through it. You are not alone and yes, it is quite normal. It does get better--it goes in waves through their entire childhood--even through the teenage years. :)

Good luck!

Answer 6

I have the same problems with my 11 month old. I don't know maybe its because their getting to that point were they think they're growing up becoming a little independent. I just wait until my baby calms down and then we proceed. There really isn't much we can do at that age. They do understand "no". At least I know my son does. Try telling her no and explain to her what you're doing. I think its pretty normal behavior. Just wait until they turn two it's going to be worse.

Answer 7

She is at an age where she wants to do everything for herself, but she can't.

All day she can't go where she wants, play with what she wants, etc. And then you want her to sit still so you can changer her of brush her hair and she is already frustrated so that's just the last straw.

My son is the same way. He can climb up on the couch but if he doesn't make it the first time he whines until he does. Pin him down for a diaper, forget it! Maybe if I tickle him the whole time (4 arms please).

I am assuming they outgrow it by the time they are 16 years old. Then they whine for you to do things for them -their laundry, etc.

Answer 8

you should ask yourself if anything has happened recently in your family, maybe you and your husband have problems, and the child receives that bad influence...or where have you been with your child, who have you visited...because when we go places maybe to a relatives house, we really dont know how they live, what kind of situation they re going through, in some families a spirit of rebelion prevails, and our children get influenced by that spirit, even if somebody close to your family just gave her a hug, the child receives the influence of that spirit that the person is carrying, i beleive you when you say that her change was all of a sudden because thats the way it is in these kind of spiritual transferations...i am informing you this because in the bible Paul the apostole crearly warns us about not laying hands carellesly on any one., and that is for this very important reason i just described above. what you can do is look for a good Pastor or shepard of a christian church, and ask him to pray for your daughter and lay his hands on her, on her head to be more specific. also a child of 11 months doesnt know what no means, you should every time you tell her no, give her a little spank in her behind, that way she will start to learn that no means not to do what she isnt allowed to do.

Answer 9

It's totally normal. She's just discovering her independence. My daughter is 21 months and she'll go for weeks being the perfect child and one morning wake up on the wrong side of the bed and be ornery and picky and crabby for days, sometimes weeks. I think they're just learning their personality, independence, and it's the start of testing limits. Just wait till she can talk, it gets even more fun!

Answer 10

My daughter's 16 months old. She refuses to eat anything except bananas and junk food. (Which her papa so graciously provides) She fusses about her clothes and shoes. She wants to do everything on her own and she can't..Like putting her shoes on. I think it's normal...Independence. I give Chloe a wipe to wipe her face and she does it. But Mommy's not allowed.