I hope it's good, but tell me what you think, if it sucks, tell me so if it's good, let me know.
I just woke up, talking to ppl, listening to music and alot of general multitasking, so I hope it's good, but it may not be.
Thanks for reading.
Moon Dance
Walking you down the stairs,
Everyone turns,
You smile, and they stare
A beautiful lady walking with me,
Looking at you I smile,
Your dress dances to the music,
I am taken away by you.
Walking two steps in front,
I take your hand to dance,
You smile as I touch,
The stars twinkle above your eyes,
Your love I can not get enough,
Clapton and Morrison are played,
But I never tire of dancing,
I put my hand on your hips as you sway,
Others are glancing,
I see the love in your eyes,
And I know how you feel,
The perfect night with romancing,
The night starts to end,
In this October sky,
Your love and grace combined,
Leaves me feeling weak,
You ask me how I feel,
I feel wonderful tonight
2007-03-24 07:08:35 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Walk over to the bookstore under your wonderful moonlight and copy a good poem.. or better yet break down. get a job.. maybe at that bookstore... here is another idea.. make the homeless bums outside your apartment read your poetry.. i am sure if you tell them there is a "happy ending" involved they would love it.
2007-03-24 07:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by Sofa kings woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was the girl you wrote it to - I'd be touched - its a little cheesy but most love poems are and I tend to think anything romantic is cheesy so don't put too much weight on me saying that.
Not bad
Thats my honest answer.
2007-03-24 14:16:03 · answer #2 · answered by Chargers Chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your poem is lovely. It needs some editing but very lovely. If you would like I could edit it for you, not that I am an editor, but I am a published poet. And I have a writing diploma as well.
Good luck, you should submit.....after edit.
2007-03-24 15:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by Sandra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I think that is soooo sweet and good! You are really good at that! But it seems like the last part doesn't really rhyme. Good job!
2007-03-24 14:12:12 · answer #4 · answered by •°o.O.nenna.O.o°• 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sooooo sweet. A little mushy but nice. You go boy!
2007-03-24 14:13:34 · answer #5 · answered by troublz1984 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where you listening to clapton and casualy jim morrison? o_O you must be very mature. .you must take yourself and love very seriously. . good man .. i wish my brain worked that way.. . the poems bland
2007-03-24 14:13:05 · answer #6 · answered by odelayy2k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was really good. Obviously you're happy with your love and want to be with her forever.
2007-03-24 14:12:24 · answer #7 · answered by metalhead1275 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is so sweet, if i had enough money, i would pay you to write poetry for me :) but as it is, i only have 24p to my name.
2007-03-27 14:08:34 · answer #8 · answered by Nish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not much of a poetry person so i didnt like it (i dont like poetry at all) but my sister came in and read it (she loves poetry) and she thought that it was great
2007-03-24 14:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats an amazing poem!!!!! i love poetry and people say im good at it but yours is like a million times better!!!!
GOOD WORK :D
2007-03-24 14:12:25 · answer #10 · answered by love_lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋