my dad drinks he drinks a lot and i don't even want to be with him and i hate to say it but i hate my dad help

Question

help me plz i don't want to hate my dad but i do and it hurts that he says he loves me and he will always take care of me but if he really loved me he would stop drinking cause really that is what is kepping me away for him. and i have already talked to him but that didn't work help what do i do

Answer 1

sounds like you are still a kid. do you have any relatives nearby or in another city? try to contact them and tell them what is going on. Hopefully they can help you organize a family intervention or you can stay in a safer environment while he gets some help.

good luck

Answer 2

Please never stop loving your Dad, he will need that Love. Sometimes people drink for a reason, but your Father has to find the reason for his self destruction. One you could try and talk to your Dad and tell him how you feel, and that you need him to be around for a good long time always let him know u Love him, and you'll be there for him, but mean while look in the phone book, or talk to a school counselor, about alateen, its a support group for kids whose family members have a drinking problem. And 3rd ask God for your dads help to control and stop his drinking.

Answer 3

I'm a dad and I drink. My wife feels I should stop. I did and things did not get better. She plunged me into debt, made me a laughing stock at her job, and have convinced our kids I just abandoned her and them. I have always supported them in every "needs" way (house, clothes, cars, food, medical, etc) and by letting them know, while I may disagree with some of their choices (mainly b/f) I do care. I honestly have only there best interests in my heart. Two years ago I came back to help out a bit more as they were living in their car at a rest area! They had jobs but quit them b/c they felt like it didn't pay enough, they told me they couldn't find work anywhere that paid enough. I returned and got them into an apt a few weeks later and they told me it was a bit "ghetto" and wanted better. I called around and moved them into a nicer place. Then they told me I needed to get a job b/c they couldn't pay the rent!! Nothing has changed. They live beyond their means and have to scrounge just to make ends meet. I'm here again helping out but this time as a 33% partner only. We split it all 3 ways. I'm being asked to buy a car for my wife as she has none at this time, thru fault of her own. She didn't make the payments and it got repoed! But she says that happened b/c I didn't give her money enough to help out.

Yes I drink and they hate me for it. They hate the fact I'm here "barking" at them about conspirecies (which I KNOW they are not intersted in, ergo, I don't talk with them about this) treating them like slaves (I do ALL the housework!) I drive the one car back and forth to pick up and drop off, like a shuttle driver.

Yep, they HATE the fact I drink and if I was an ugly, loud, obnoxious drunk I could understand, but truth is, they just hate. Unfortunately, it's everything about me... except my cash! I'm leaving them this Spring (please read my profile) - for the last time! I hope you aren't killing your dad's love for you as mine did for me. Love is not easy, hate is.

And for the record, drinking really can be a problem if it affets your life and living conditioons. But so does ignorance!

Answer 4

Your dad is suffering from a very pervasive disease called alcoholism. I was a child of an alcoholic, married/divorced an alcoholic, my sanity was at risk...finally found Al-Anon, saved my sanity and my life, and those of my children....I have a child that is also an alcoholic...look in the phone book and call a contact, and they will take you to a meeting, if you are under 18, there is Al-a-Teen, same there. Bless you dear. Make that call..."If but for the Grace of God go I"

Answer 5

Whenever he tries to make any advances....be polite but strict and tell him that you don't feel any love for him even when you want to love and respect him because of his drinking habit. Though you understand his feelings, you find yourself unable to respond to them as you would want to because you feel so indifferent to what he does and feels anymore. If he persists, you can also say in a low and serious tone, while looking straight into his eyes all the time, perhaps if he leaves drinking some day you may really feel the love for him that you wanted so much to give to him but could not. Until then, he is of course free to enjoy himself with the thing he loves most. I hope you are not living with him. If you do, try to be independent and move away from him. Do not feel guilty over feelings you can't control. Sometimes situations do change us and may be some day you may be able to forgive your father for showing more indulgence to his drinking habit than to his own progeny.

Answer 6

i would like to start by saying im sorry... its a tuff road being the child of an alcoholic.... i was that child.... no one can stop your dad from drinking!!!!!!! except your dad. so dont try , all the hounding, beging, crying, pleading , is only going to make things worse. this will affect you and your hole family so get counsiling or go to aa it will teach you how to deal with this..... and your dad does love you and you should love him (though at times it will be very hard) just remember our parents may not be with us for long.... my mom died from alcohalism when she was 43


been there done that
if you need to talk
[e-mail]

Answer 7

Talk to Dad, one more time, and tell him he needs help, Ask him why is he trying to drown his problems? That you are here for him, and he needs to go for professional help, and that you can't stick around watching him get sicker and sicker! Now after that talk, you need to call All-non, so you can get help, understanding what your Dad is doing, because his drinking is a family disease. This is a good program, and it will help you!

Answer 8

Sounds like your dad is an alcoholic, and until he decides to stop, he'll keep right on drinking. Join Alanon, it will help you deal with your issues regarding you dad and his drinking.

Answer 9

it's not that easy for him. He's probably tried to, but alcohol is an addiction. Even though he cares about your opinion, he cant help it. What he probably needs is you to be there for him, not hate him. You can suggest him to go to AA meetings, and you probably just need to talk to him about it. Really tell him how you feel. good luck.

Answer 10

My dad drinks alot, too. And to tell you the truth, I don't know what to do either since I have the same probelm. E-mail me, and we can talk. [e-mail]