What are some wedding do's and don'ts?

Question

My wedding's still a ways off, but I'd like to hear some ideas about some things that worked out for people and things to avoid.

Answer 1

Are you ready? Here's a HUGE list I collected during my wedding planning. Not all of these are mine, but I collected from a variety of sources.

My number one tip is this: Eat your cake! You worked really hard to make your wedding special - you need to slow yourself down and enjoy it. Every once in a while, stop, look around, and take it all in. If you don't, the whole day will pass in a blur. If you can't remember to do this, have your BMs remind you. And eat your cake! You'd be surprised how many brides only have one bite of their wedding cake. My husband and I took our pieces of cake and sat out in the garden right around sunset by ourselves for 10 minutes. We ate our cake and just allowed ourselves to take everything in. Nobody bothered us, and it was absolutely wonderful. It's one of my most vivid memories of our wedding day because I was really focused on THAT moment.

DO have a rehearsal with absolutely everyone involved (officiant, organist, church caretaker, ushers). Everyone thought it was silly to have a rehearsal, but it was such a good thing and made the ceremony run so much more smoothly.

DO have a placeholder bouquet at the rehearsal, so you can work out who is holding what at which time. We used a bridal shower ribbon bouquet and then a really big bow as the other. Seems absolutely unnecessary, but it was so helpful to know "Wait, I can't light the unity candle, I'm holding a bouquet in my right hand" and work out a graceful time to hand it off beforehand.

DO pick competent people to be your vendors. Don't go with someone that you like less just because they're a little bit cheaper... pick people that you have full faith will do their jobs well. The vendor we arranged at the last minute without being too excited about, was the only one we were less than thrilled with.

DO be clear about the guest lists that you aren't directly planning, meeting your vision of either an intimate gathering or a big party. Our rehearsal dinner was bigger than we'd intended because we weren't clear enough in communicating our size expectations to the hosts. I totally freaked out because there were so many people there I didn't know, and I wasn't prepared for it, and gave a super-awkward toast as a result.

DO give out directions with any invitation if people are not local!

DO get your nails done as close to the big day as possible. We got our nails done the morning of the day before, but they were totally chipped by the next day. (You should also go with a salon you know will do a good job making your manicure last, if at all possible to visit them ahead of time.)

DO get a pedicure the day before. It's very relaxing, and brides need relaxing! (NOTE: If you've never had one before, this might not be the time to start, especially if you have caluses on your feet. Scraping them off can make it painful to walk. Instead, have a pedicure or two a month or so before to get used to it, and just get your toes polished a day or two before the wedding)

DO get your hair and makeup people to travel to you if at all possible. In keeping with the theme of relaxing, it was so nice not to have to go anywhere the morning of the wedding, but have everyone come to us.

DO be anal ahead of time and compile a schedule that specifies where each and every person in the bridal party is supposed to be at any point in time. Attach the contact information of everyone working for or involved in your wedding, and hand it out to everyone involved. Possibly even enclose a list of duties for each member of the wedding party, so they know who does what. It was SO helpful, although everyone laughed at us so much when we first gave them out. When people came to us and said, "when does this happen" or "what is the cell phonenumber of ..." we could just ignore them and tell them "check the schedule" rather than have to think hard. :) We completely and totally got behind our schedule, but it was still helpful.

DO have an emergency kit that one of your attendants is in charge of. Again, everyone made fun of our big black bridal emergency purses when we were putting it together, but then were profoundly grateful for it later. We got particular mileage out of bandaids and antibiotic ointment, q-tips (great makeshift makeup applicators), a few pairs of mens dark dress socks (men forget to bring black socks, or bring navy blue ones instead because they packed in the dark), Shout stain wipes, Pepto Bismol, Tylenol, Tums, Gas X, tweezers, extra hair pins/clips, tissues, toupee tape, and an extra copy of toasts, the big schedule and vendor contact info packet. We wish we had thought to buy the nailpolish the salon had used and include those bottles in there as well.

DO leave plenty of cushion room in the schedule, because you may end up very behind schedule. We thought we’d done this, but not nearly enough!

DO encourage anyone who would like to say a few words to give a toast after all of the official toasts have been done. We had some truly touching toasts and stories from guests who were moved by the spirit. This may make you late, but it's a very good reason to be late.

DO arrange ahead of time what the rates are for extending the reception, because it may happen if you are waaay behind schedule, and that way, you just need to give one person the go-ahead to extend, and everything falls into place.

DO make your reception as long as you can. We ended up having 6.5 hours of reception, and almost no one left early. It went by so quickly for us!

DO have your vows memorized and just say them to each other, rather than repeating them line by line after an officiant. It was so much more meaningful to say those words directly to one another in a complete sentence, because after all, they were our promises to each other.

DO have a program, and DO include lots of history and tradition explanations in it as well as the usual schedule, readings and bridal party listing, as well as your new contact information. People really liked the programs, and it gave them something to do when we were late starting the ceremony.

DO put a disposable camera with flash at each table along with a note that encourages guests to take pictures of themselves having fun. (Emphasis on that so that you don't just have lots of inept photographs of your first dance and cake cutting that your photographer is already covering, but rather all of those fun small moments that you would otherwise have missed.) We haven't gotten the photos back, but they were apparently a big hit, because not one of the 14 cameras had a single exposure left (and we used 27 exposure cameras). Even if a lot of the photos turn out badly, they were good ice breakers, and it's fun to wait to see what happens, especially when the professional photos may take a long time in getting to you.

DO consider the polaroid guest book. It turned out really well for us! Don't expect them to glue in the photos as they go, though – that was way too hectic!

DO go the extra mile with craftsy little details that you can do ahead of time, if you enjoy that sort of thing. People did notice them, and they made us so happy, too... and it gave us some couple time to put the finishing touches on things together.

DO have the anniversary dance. It was really fun, and we liked being able to honor those that managed to make their marriage last.

DO rig your bouquet toss a little bit, so those who really want to catch it, will. We had two bachelor ladies who really wanted the bouquet, and because of that, we managed to find the Maid of Honor's bouquet to toss as well. (One of our bouquets was going to oldest married couple already.) Both of the ladies who really wanted the "extra help" caught a bouquet, and were so happy about it!

DO have children at your wedding if you’re more after an exuberant party than a stiff ultra-formal affair. And DO have multiple flowergirls and ringbearers if you have several small children who’d like the job – the more the merrier and that way, no one feels left out. The kids were able to entertain each other (especially in the separate room they had to themselves), and the older ones kept the younger one in line. The children were so much fun to have in the wedding party, took their roles very seriously, and at the reception, they just had the best time, without making mischief at all. We danced with all of the little kids a lot - they were really into ring-around-the-rosy style dancing with all of us holding hands. It was so rewarding and they were so cute, and they were so excited that they got to have a special role, that they even followed me to the bathroom for makeup touch up and chatted with me the whole time. In retrospect, the only thing we’d have done differently is ADD two more flower girls (which would have been a total of five).

DO play music from many different eras. Swing songs actually got the most enthusiastic crowd response, surprisingly!

DO learn how to dance if you've ever wanted to do so, not just a choreographed first dance but learn the basic steps for a few basic dances so that you can maneuver competently around the dance floor. Our first dance was really FUN and not stressful because we'd had lessons for it, and it was so enjoyable to show off our dance moves for other songs throughout the night. People said we looked like we were floating and were really impressed we knew how to actually dance. While the wedding was an impetus and the lessons we took were fun couple time amidst the planning stress, we've developed a shared hobby that we will continue to pursue and benefit from for a long time.

DO learn how to waltz if you're wearing a full skirted gown. It's very impressive to look at, your skirt really gets twirled out for best effect, and it was actually designed with enormous skirts in mind, so it's easy to do without feeling hampered by your gown. Foxtrot worked well too, swing was a bit harder but still doable, but with my enormous skirt we had no chance at all with latin dances like tango or cha cha, which was a pity! We just had to give up!

DO be clear with your dressmaker/seamstress how active a bride you plan on being in terms of movement. Mine actually said to me after the fact "bridal gowns are designed for sitting and standing quietly" when I had absolutely no intentions of doing that. I had let her know that I was really excited about dancing, and this meant that she should have left extra arm movement room and made sure my dress was short enough so that I didn't trip over it.

DO discuss whether a romantic wedding night is a priority ahead of time. We were absolutely EXHAUSTED, and if we hadn't had that discussion ahead of time, we would probably just have crashed.

DO make the rounds at the wedding, and consider heading outside to see if anyone is loitering there as well as to catch a breath of fresh air and take in a moment of calm. Sitting on the porch were a bunch of Stephanie’s friends, who serenaded us: in the style of Billy Idol’s “White Wedding”, but “It’s a nice day for a gay wedding”. It was so cute. (They were admittedly a little bit tipsy.)

DO laugh at things that (will!) go wrong, and then hand them off to someone else to take care of. Things that went wrong for us that haven’t already been mentioned were that both my sleeves tore really early on in the reception, and that it rained the day of the wedding. Your wedding is not the time to get upset.

DO NOT get stressed out because you will probably be late for absolutely everything. It's not a problem. You're the bride, and nothing will happen without you.

DO complain to the appropriate vendors about the things that went wrong afterwards. You might get a refund, in some cases a sizeable one. (My dressmaker refunded a good portion of my gown after I explained to her all of the problems that my gown had, including the sleeves ripping open, the hem being not nearly short enough, and stays she'd built in just sticking out all of the time and needing to be tucked back into my bra constantly, as well as her alterations of the bra not being nearly extensive enough and it still peeked over the top of the dress a lot.)

DO get your gown hemmed on the short side if you have a full crinoline, because the crinoline may compact as the evening wears on, lengthening your skirt.

DO drink out of straws to prevent the smudging of lipstick. (Something for the emergency kit, though our waitstaff were good with supplying them at the reception.)

DO have someone apply your makeup for you, and buy your own makeup ahead of time so you can test the colors in different lights before you decide to use them. (For example, I tried using a covergirl outlast and it really dried out my lips for a WEEK and I hated the color after seeing it in natural lighting, so I'm super happy that I didn't do that on or close to the wedding.) We were so happy with our makeup looks - we looked elegant and glamorous, but not too made up.

And DO consider trying a department store counter rather than a drugstore brand, if that is your prior routine. It was for me, and I really appreciated the difference in quality. Clinique and Benefit were both really good and not too pricey, and we really liked more creamy powders rather than loose powder which I was more used to.

DO select a hairstyle that looks like you. I was so glad I went with my hair down in loose curls rather than a big updo like I had been planning until the week before the wedding, because I looked much more recognizably like me since I rarely wear my hair up or pulled back.

DO plan for the contingency that you'll cry, even if you think you won't. This means having a handkerchief with you for the ceremony and using waterproof mascara that you've given a couple of test runs. (We liked the Chanel waterproof mascara a lot.) Although I didn't think I would shed a tear, I was a crying mess from the processional throughout the ceremony, and then I thought I was all done crying, until we hit the toasts, at which point everyone started up again, me especially.

One of our guests was apparently describing our ceremony to a friend of hers, and even the recollection made her start crying again! And one of our waitstaff pulled us aside to say that he had a really hard time not crying during our toasts... so I have no idea how given those circumstances, the two of us at the center of it could have remained dry-eyed.

Even if you do decide to keep your handkerchief in your bosom, once you retrieve it, wrap it around the handle to your bouquet, or just hold it, so that when you continue to cry, you don't need to fish inelegantly about in your cleavage for it.

DO remember to put on all of your undergarments before putting on your dress. I put on my dress and crinoline before I remembered that I hadn't put on stockings, and it literally involved all four members of my family and my sister-in-law sitting under my skirt to try to put them back in place. It was hilarious, but very avoidable. :)

DO play classical music as you are getting ready – again, relax relax relax!!!

If possible, DO stay someplace romantic on the night of your wedding, preferably even the night beforehand, so you can get away from the stresses of everyday life a bit. And something big and suitelike with an enormous bathtub for two is totally worth the extra $$$. We were really taking 2 baths a day for the 3 days that we were staying at our wedding site.

DO relax so you are a calm and happy bride, because your guests will totally follow your lead and have a great time if you are. Stress about the details beforehand, and then the day of, none of it is your problem anymore.

DO arrange for someone to set aside hors d'oeuvres for you and your new spouse, because you will probably be starving at that point but your guests will beat you to it.

DO pick readings that are meaningful to you, and DO try to remain mentally present at your ceremony, even if it is very overwhelming. I really forced myself to calm down and pay attention, and I'm so glad I did, because it was absolutely magical.

DO break in your shoes really well. Preferably wear them for the sorts of activities that you're doing at the wedding, like dancing. No one will notice if your shoes start out a little bit scuffed, but YOU will notice if they haven't been broken in! My 2.5" heels held up really well all night and I was very comfortable, but my mum didn't break in her low heels much beforehand, and had lots of pinching problems. Also, getting ballroom dance shoes was probably the sanest thing I could have done - they really supported my feet despite the height of the heel.

DO not let anyone who laughs at the extent of your planning, or the amount of time you're doing it in advance, get to you or convince you otherwise. My in-laws were very skeptical about the need to plan MOST of the things we thought were really important to pay advance attention to, but in the end, they had a complete change of heart, because they realized that we had absolutely nothing to worry about at the wedding, and could also spend the weeks beforehand mostly relaxing, being excited and doing things other than wedding planning, such as celebrating the holidays. My mother-in-law actually told her recently-engaged grad-student that her daughter just got married and did a lot of planning far in advance, and how she'd really recommend that because we had such a good time at our own wedding, and everything went off flawlessly because of our planning. We felt so vindicated, but believe me, we took a lot of flack for it at the time. :)

DO NOT have regrets about planning the wedding the way you did. Truly follow your heart in the sort of wedding you decide on, and then don't have feelings of remorse about whether it's all worth it in the weeks before. It was absolutely and totally worth it, and the people who paid for our wedding called us to let us know that shortly thereafter, too. :)

DO consider wearing stockings attached to garters (which can either be a part of your foundation garment, or a separate garter belt) instead of pantyhose. My stockings stayed in put wonderfully, and I did not have the usual "help, my pantyhose crotch is sagging!" issues at all, which was great. So comfortable!

DO make a list of photos you want to take, and give your photographer examples (especially of his own prior work) of photos that really strike a chord with you. Even if you hire a photojournalist, if they know the style that appeals to you and the moments that matter most to you, it will be really useful.

DO get the best, most sympathetic photographer you can possibly afford. It was a big splurge, but we were so happy with it just from the perspective of how much fun they were to work with and how at ease they put us, and we haven't even gotten pictures back yet. If your photographer works with someone else and you can afford two photographers, all the better. We had a husband and wife team, and they were able to take pictures of both of us getting ready separately, take portraits of our family and us at the same time, and they just had a great dynamic. If we had had to cut money somewhere, we would have cut flower and dress budgets, as well as food and drink, before we would have considered getting different photographers.

DO take pictures before the ceremony, so you can enjoy as much of your reception as you can. The pictures before felt so much less rushed, too.

DO exchange a small gift with your spouse to mark the occasion.

DO register and DO NOT tell people that you welcome creative gifts! We should have been much more stringent in encouraging our families to spread the word that we prefer to get the kinds of gifts that we've already picked out for ourselves, or the kind that folds into a card. We got some amazingly useless gifts that were given with the best intentions. DO NOT register for too many things at first - gradually add things once the important things get bought. We got a lot of lower priority registry items but missed most of the really critical ones, like towels, another set of bed linens and our china.

DO give yourselves a little bit of time after the ceremony just to sit and take in the newlywed feeling. We sat in the balcony of the church while our guests exited (we exited before them and then ran upstairs), listening to our organist play the beautiful recessional and taking in the moment.

DO stop periodically and really take in every sight, sound, smell, texture, and taste if applicable, so that you have a bunch of really full, vivid memories to draw on.

DO have snacks on hand in your room. You may not be sleeping normal hours leading up to the wedding, and it's really good to have some pretzel sticks or animal crackers on hand at 2:30 AM when everything is closed.

Do everything you can to avoid having to go to the bathroom in your wedding gown. We cut out caffeinated beverages the day of, and drank tons of water in the days before but didn't drink too much the morning of, and neither one of us had to pee once our dresses were on. That was such a good thing!

DO NOT go overboard with purchases of makeup at the makeup counter. (Advice passed on from our makeup lady.) Better to get a few staples that you'll actually use again, than a bunch of products you don't even need. On my troubled skin, I used foundation (get something with light coverage if you end up getting it at all), powder (creamier powder in a compact), and you should add concealer if you have things to conceal (clinique airbrush concealer was great!). Then lipliner and lipstick, blush (though our makeup lady considered that optional), three eyeshadows to wear together, eyeliner and mascara. At the makeup counter, they will probably gently pressure you to buy a whole bunch of other products, and you should resist that pressure unless you really want them. I got some fun eye and lip lotions and a gloss, but they really weren't even remotely wedding necessary. Just say no to eye bases and lip bases and waterproofing shellacs and so on.

DO NOT let people bully you into letting them do what they want rather than what you want. This was an issue with Flakey Friend, alas. If someone does not listen to tact, try being less tactful about it. I wish I had just told him to get the hell out and come back at 3 at the ceremony.

DO communicate your expectations clearly to the bridal party. Unless they're bridal party veterans, no one will be able to guess from thin air that you want a shower, or that they're expected to give a toast. Don't be all bridezilla about it, but you can SUGGEST that you might like a shower if someone were to throw one, or that toasts done by the attendant are traditional and you'd find it really touching if they could.

DO NOT let the details overwhelm you. If something doesn't happen (like say, welcome baskets at the hotel rooms for us), don't fuss about it. After all, the craftsy details are supposed to be FUN, and if you're not having fun anymore, you can almost certainly cut them out and no one will miss them.

DO NOT get crabby with your sweetie the day before when things are stressful. Try to laugh it off and remain positive. I totally lost my temper at the universe, and got grouchy, and really, that shouldn't have gotten in the way.

DO try to communicate with your guests what constitutes appropriate attire. Flakey Friend showed up in a tie-dyed t-shirt and a lot of body odor. Everyone else seemed to get the message of "wear something that respects the formality of the event that you feel comfortable in" and put some effort into dressing nicely in their own unique style. It was really nice!

DO check out ebay for your accessories. We got our tiaras for really cheaper than the regular website price from Princess Bride Tiaras - they have a regular store, and then an ebay store, where they sell overstock. We bought our veils at veilshop.com and liked them a lot, very prompt service. Garters and ring pillow were found from small ebay merchants, and they were reasonable in price and quality. DO NOT buy your accessories at a bridal salon, because the markups are huge.

DO decorate with candles! Lots of atmosphere for the $.

DO NOT go overboard with flowers. Get nice flowers that are carried or worn, and don't cut corners there... but you can go more minimalistic on the centerpieces and especially the church decorations. We went a bit overboard with decorative flowers and it probably would not have been missed if we hadn't. On the other hand, the bouquets, boutonnieres and corsages, should definitely be purchase not only for you and your attendants, but your parents, any friends who have helped you out a lot, and any other special relatives. I wish we'd thought to get flowers for some of our really long distance guests.

DO donate your leftover flowers to a nursing home or hospital. If you've gone overboard with them, then they might as well be made useful somewhere else. :)

DO get small presents for members of the bridal party to thank them for their help. Nothing too expensive, but a small thank-you.

DO apply a theme based on where you chose to have the wedding or when, or who you are as a couple, but in a subtle sort of way. It doesn’t have to be EVERYWHERE. We added a bunch of Victorian touches because the reception was in a Victorian manor and the ceremony in an early-Victorian church, and a bunch of snow and winter touches because it was after all January. It tied things together, but it also did not go way overboard.

BUT WAIT!! THERE'S MORE!!!

The "if only..." list


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My wedding was AWESOME – and all the planning and stress is definitely worth it – don’t lose heart!!!! But even with all the details covered, some things I just didn"t think to check... I think it is important to note that none of these small things ruined my day, I had a GREAT wedding and a fabulous time :) KEEP SMILING!

Dress:

IF ONLY I had double checked the bustle…
If you have a bustle, make sure all of the corresponding hooks/ribbons are there before you leave the seamstress. I didn’t check, and discovered after the ceremony that my bustle was missing one ribbon and that made it impossible to do. It took about 25 minutes out of our photo time and my MOH finally had to rig it up another way, leaving something somewhat resembling the bustle I had expected, but not what I wanted. I called the seamstress later and she said “oh, it was hectic here…” She had created a bustle different from the one I wanted, and even left a ribbon out. A mistake that can’t be fixed.

IF ONLY I had made sure none of the hoops were sticking out…
If you are wearing a hoop skirt, make sure the hoops are spun in a way that the extra metal at the end where you size it is not sticking out (you’ll know what I mean if you have a hoop skirt). When I sat down at the reception, the largest hoop got caught up near my butt because the extra metal got stuck up there, so my hoop was not round around my ankles, but the back of the hoop was high, forcing the front hoop low, making my dress flat. (picture holding a hoola hoop at your waist, with it touching your back, and you drop down the front toward your ankles – that was my skirt...until the mother son dance where I hiked it up under the head table to fix it…)

IF ONLY I had walked with my dress and slip…
Walk around in your dress with the slip! I hadn’t done this, so when I started down the aisle, I was stepping on the front of the crinoline slip or the dress – I had to start walking on my toes in order to lift it up a bit (apparently no one noticed)


Vendors:

IF ONLY I had been more clear with my vendors…

DJ:

Tell your DJ EXACTLY how you want the ceremony music played… my DJ faded one song on top of another song – I had really wanted and expected a dramatic pause in between each of the processional songs – for parents, bridesmaids, and me. He also started our unity candle song while the officiant was still explaining the unity candle, communion, etc…. the whole first part of the song was missed because he had it playing lightly in the background.

My DJ showed up on the afternoon of my wedding without any of our ceremony music…. He said his computer crashed on THURSDAY with songs on it (the wedding was Saturday) and he had never received a CD we had sent him…. Have someone call your DJ the morning of the wedding and confirm he has everything. Fortunately, I just happened to have my CD with my special songs on it because I used it in the rehearsal, so he just used my CD… but if I wouldn’t have had it, we wouldn’t have had any of our choices. We had to switch our recessional song from one that was “our song” to something like it, since his computer had crashed… 2 days earlier (we could have brought it with us if we’d just known). Maybe even bring a copy of all of your music “just in case”… As a side note, he just assumed he could play something “similar” and it would be fine – um, no. My music was unique and I had never heard it before… I’m so glad I had the CD!!

Oh, he also didn’t have our “must play” list for the reception, and had to just play what he thought we’d like… bring a copy of your list! And lastly, he used a “live” version of our song for the first dance, not the version that I wanted, I assumed he’d play the one off the CD but he must have gotten his online… I didn’t like it as much.

FLORIST:

Tell your florist EXACTLY how you want your flowers… For my bouquet, I asked for red roses with some blue misty as filler, and when they arrived, it was a bouquet of red roses, but with blue misty that stuck about 5” past the roses – making the bouquet more purple than red. We took scissors and trimmed all the bouquets…. Also, when I asked for red roses on the top layer of the cake, she interpreted that as red roses with two different kinds of filler, and ivy. I had wanted a very simple and elegant look to the cake and wasn''''t expecting to see the larger spray of flowers/greenery on the top.

She also lost the list of who got what (bouts, corsages, etc. - have the list with you so people know who gets what).

PHOTOGRAPHER:

Use medium format for your portrait pictures... a wide angle lens was used for ours and everyone on the edges of the pic is stretched out and wide. The pics of me and my husband that are taken vertically leave him with a stretched forehead!! Fortunately, the photojournalistic shots are awesome, which is precisely why we hired our photographer.

COORDINATOR:

Find out when your coordinator will be there on the day of your wedding. Mine said she’d be there during the day, but then showed up at 3:30 for our 5:00 wedding.

TRANSPORTATION:

Confirm with the limo driver (if you have one) that he has the right directions. In fact, give him your own directions. When leaving the reception for our bed and breakfast, we asked and he said “I have a map, got it taken care of…” But then we ended up far from where we were supposed to be and my husband had to open the partition and give him street to street directions. He had street names that were taking us in the opposite direction!!

IF ONLY I’d taken a light sleeping pill…
Sounds extreme, but I got literally ONE HOUR of sleep the night before the wedding…. And the wedding was at 5pm the next day.

· DO get disposable cameras – we got ours off ebay – those photos are worth the money we spent at Wal-Mart to process them – priceless shots.

· DO keep face powder nearby if indoors – I was sweating in a lot of my pics.

· DO use breath mints instead of gum - in the video of my dancing with my dad, I am chewing gum like my very life depended on it - I look like someone working at Mel"s diner!

· DO smile and lock eyes with your husband to be while coming down the aisle – this is one of the best pieces of advice I got. I probably looked him in the eyes for about 70% of the processional and it was exhilarating.

· DO jot down some personal words for one another and share them before the vows - this was by far everyone"s favorite part of the ceremony... and it forced us out of the schedule of "ceremony" and into a time of sincere expression of our feelings toward one another.

· DO make a checklist for a friend or relative to go over an hour before the ceremony – mine included making sure lights were dimmed, drapes drawn, etc.

Answer 2

I am getting married in a few months so I know how stressful/exciting it can be. Always remember it is YOUR wedding and don't let others ie: mom, take over. I've had a problem with that. Say what you want and don't be like "oh I don't care" b/c then something might happen that you don't like. Always know, even if you do set a budget most likely you will go over so plan for that as well b/c things get super expensive and there are tons of things like flowers, DJ/band, photographer, videographer, food at the reception, jewelry, invitations/postage, alterations, pianist and tons of more things that you wouldn't think too much about. You have to get your bridesmaids some type of gift too, b/c I mean they are paying for the dresses and spending their time also. There are a lot of great websites for giving advice too.

Answer 3

I have one big DON'T...
Don't sweat the small stuff. And...most of it IS small stuff that only you, as the bride, even notice. Your guests will not notice if you have carnations or delphiniums in the centerpieces at the reception, but they WILL notice if the bride's having a meltdown over it. Your wedding is 1 day, your marriage is a lifetime. Put it all in perspective and you'll be fine.

And 3 DO'S..
Do expect that all will not run perfectly smoothly the day of the wedding. SOMETHING will happen, and if you have the right perspective, it will be something that you and your husband can laugh about at your 50th wedding anniversary.

Do DELEGATE! You do not have to plan this whole shebang yourself! Utilize your mother, future mother in law, sisters, sisters in law, bridesmaids, etc. Hire a planner if you feel the need, even to just run interference the day of the wedding. It will seriously be the best money you spend.

Do realize that your groom probably couldn't care less about the colors you're choosing, what flowers are in the bouquets, how many potted plants you need for the altar arrangements, etc., etc., etc. He wants to know the following: date, time, place, what to wear, and what will he get to eat.

Congrats and good luck!

Answer 4

Pay for the wedding yourselves so you can have all the say.
Budget carefully - there are ALWAYS more expenses than you think - all those "little" things you pick up.
Don't forget your future mother-in-law; ask her advice, consult her. Get to know her better, after all she raised the man you love and are marrying.
It's just not worth it to spend a lot on professional photography. These days, everyone has a friend or family member who is half-decent with a camera.
Make your ceremony most special to the two of you - have what you want.
The reason for the reception is for people to celebrate witnessing your vows earlier in the day. Have great food, open bar, and amazing music to dance to.
The months pre-wedding -- make sure you and your guy spend time NOT talking about the wedding!!!!!

Answer 5

I am a wedding photographer and I have seen every bride from the bridzillas, bridpillas, bridsillys. One bride stands out to me as the best bride. She was calm, sweet even to her sisters, and her mother. She hugged every one she could at the reception making it easy for a photographer by posing so happily for every photo. She was not rushed, not stressed even when the marriage license did not get signed. She had fun and if you make a commitment that this day be fun and not worry about anyone else it is going to be. I feel that brides worry to much about others and what they are thinking. DON"T go there!!!!!
Just stay committed to it being the most romantic fun day of your entire life. It is a love story that you get to play the main character of for one whole day.
Feel the love!!!!

Answer 6

Do's
-Book the chruch, recpetion place now. So you will have the place you want.
-Book a pre hair and makeup day before the wedding so you know if you like or dont like how it looks. Also book the actually hair and makeup place months a head.
-Think of wedding colours you would like in the wedding
-Look around for bargins on centre peices, flowers shops, and decor.

Dont
-dont pick your bridesmaids and groomen's yet, wait till eight months before the wedding.
-dont pick too many people to be in your wedding party, it will only cause headaches in the long run.
-dont find your dress till eight months before the wedding, remember your size and style may change
-dont rush things and start buying things till eight months or sooner before the wedding
-dont stress this is your day, you dont want to trun into a bridezilla!

Congrats!

Answer 7

I only really have a few things. DON'T do what others want you to , DO what you guys want no matter what other people think. Invite who you really want to see in your wedding photos, not who Mum and Dad think should come 'cos it's good for business or 'cos you've known them for 50 years and it would be nice. Get a note book, this will be your Bible on organising. Get loads of ideas and most of all...make sure you both enjoy your day. If you get a few dodgy looks for doing some things or not doing others or not inviting so and so...in my experience of just getting married last year, they will realise it's your day and respect you for doing it your way.

Enjoy and Good Luck.

Answer 8

Pick decent brides maids dresses, one they can use again, and not too expensive. Don't be a pain, you are not royalty so just enjoy your day. Be nice to your fiance during this time, it's his wedding too and ditch any princess act as he can leave you standing there like a fool. Make sure his best man doesn't share his bed with him too. You may THINK you know him but are you SURE???? (family experience) Keep smiling, it's just a day, you will probably have a few more like it before you're done. blah blah blah, don't want to hear it.

Answer 9

consult the mil early and let her have some input on the color of dreess she wears and the food
it will make things smoother
make out a budget and stick to it Plan to stay in a nearby hotel on the wedding night and travel fresh in the morning.

Answer 10

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Answer 11

do make out with the groom [if your the bride]
don't do tongue