Do you know any funy text jokes/any?

Question

Do you know any funy text jokes/any

Answer 1

Here you are, specially for you!

Tow old maids on holiday in Scotland are driving around the Highlands on a sunny day enjoying the rare balmy weather & the beautiful scenery. By the hillside they see Jock in his kilt fast asleep, obviously having had a dram too many.

One old maid says to the other:

I wonder what they say about the Scots wearing nothing under their kilts is true."
" Really? Nothing?"
"Right, nothing at all. At least that's what they say..."

They slow down a bit & turn their heads to look at each conspiratorially with a smile.

"What do you say we take a little peep? " One says.
"Oh no, we can't do that ...." says the other coyly. " Suppose he wakes up while...."
"He's dead drunk! Can't you see that?"
"Let's then.... Oh let's..."

They stop the car. Tiptoeing to where Jock lies, they lift up his kilt, take an eye full. Both smiling contentedly now, one of them took off a blue ribbon she has on her hair & ties it around Jock's little sidekick, then pulls down his kilt again. Trying hard to Stifle their giggles, they left Jock to his happy dreams & go on their journey laughing themselves silly, definitely having the best time of their entire holiday.

Jock wakes up, yawns, stretches, & feels a bit uncomfortable where he has no reason to be. He lifts up his kilt, looks down, & exclaims:

"I don't know where you have been & what you have been doing, but you won first prize!"

Answer 2

i'm not sure if it is the variety of factor you're after for a textual content cloth message for April Fools yet i'll coach it to you in basic terms for relaxing. R U A 6 U L D V 8 ? this could be a good one to get a clean Zealander to declare it out aloud. because of the fact of there accessory they pronounce the variety Six as "Sux or intercourse" in basic terms say each and each letter and variety out loud to understand what it reads. Gosh! i'm hoping i haven't indignant you. "Sorry if I unquestionably have" it rather is all meant to be in relaxing. If I unquestionably have i'll do away with my answer.

Answer 3

John had just arrived in sinapore on a buisness trip, He arived at his hotel and was amazed to find a pc in his suite. He straight away decided to email his wife.... however what john did not realise was that he had entered his wifes addy incorrectly. Meanwhile in Huston a widow was just returning from her hubbys funeral... she realised she had emails of condolence and began to read..... when all of a sudden she passed out. Her devoted son hearing the thump came running to her side... he looked up and saw an email which read... To my Darling Wife, I have arrived safely. We have computers here now so that we can email our loved ones. Missing you so much and am anticipating your arrival tomorrow.
Your Loving Husband.
Ps it is very hot here....

Answer 4

I received this text when it was all going on at the Bernard Mathews turkey farm.... Don't panic! Bernard's only killing young birds with big breasts... thought it was quite funny at the time, out of date now though.

Answer 5

sorry i put a few on answers the other day and i got a voilation so sorry i have loads but cant write them

Answer 6

paki goes into a chemist 4 some aspirin.
When he left the chemist realised hed sold him aresnic by mistake
and went running after him......
""ive sold you the wrong tablets"he told him......
"whats the difference"said the paki.....
"just call it a quid"replied the chemist!

Answer 7

try............... "Its national text a idiot day and I thought of you",
or try........... "How do you make hormone? have sex with her, wipe your d**k on her curtains and then run off without paying"