anger management?

Question

I was at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make.I found the number +dialed it.A man answered,saying "Hello." I said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert Campbell"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin number!" the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number,I found that I had accidentally dialled the last two digits wrong.After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone,I yelled "You're a C**t!" + hung up.I wrote his number down with the word 'C**t' next to it,+ put it in my desk.Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him +yell, "You're a C**t!"It always cheered me me up.When Caller ID was introduced I thought my therapeutic 'C**t' calling would have to stop. So,I called his number +said,"Hi,this is John Smith from BT .I'm calling to see if you..tbc.

familiar with our Caller ID Program?"
He yelled "NO!"and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said,"That's because you're a C**t!" One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.I noticed a "For Sale"sign in his back window,so I wrote down his
number.A couple of days later, right after calling the first C**t( I had his no. on speed dial,)I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover C*nt, too.I said,"Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?"Yes, it is he said","Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked."Yes I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house, and the car's parked right out in front""What's your name?" I asked."My name is Steve Hansen"hesaid. "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?"..tbc

"I'm home most days as I'm currently unemployed.","Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?","Yes?","Steve, you're a C**t!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called C**t #1. "Hello." "You're a C**t!" (But I didn't hang up.)"Are you still there?" he asked."Yeah," I said."Stop calling me," he screamed."Make me," I said. "Who are you?" he asked."My name is Steve Hansen.","Yeah? Where do you live?"
"C**t, I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal grey Land Rover parked out the front." He
said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start saying your prayers."I said,"Yeah, like I'm really scared,C**t," and hung up.Then I called C**t #2."Hello?"he said."Hello, C**t,"I said. He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...","You'll what?" I said."I'll kick your ****," he exclaimed.I answered, "Well, C**t, here's your chance....tbc

I'm coming over right now."Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war
going down in Alice Street, Illford .
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got there just in time to watch two C**ts beating the crap out of each other in front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a news crew.
NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really works...

sorry it was so long!!

Answer 1

That really made me laugh out loud!

10/10

Dare to ask... ... ... got any more jokes like this one?

Answer 2

L O L 9/10

Answer 3

Classic Bart Simpson crank call

Answer 4

what the f*** do you think you're doing, posting a sick "joke" like this? it's not funny AT ALL. don't ever take the mick out of people with anger problems coz it's actually quite serious. i've had very bad anger problems since i was born, and when i was about 12yrs-old i nearly fainted coz my blood pressure got so high. it was coz a person like YOU was winding me up so bloody badly and if you think that's funny then you're a sick person. dont EVER take the mick/laugh at people with anger problems, it's not right

Answer 5

Brilliant,well thought out.
not a bad idea really except all the police stuff.lol.
enjoyed reading it have a star.

xxx

Answer 6

ive heard this before when he calles the **** to come round and gets them to ***** stars so i don't ruin the joke its funny tho 10/10 have a star

Answer 7

Good joke, long time in the telling.

Answer 8

That was class!! While I was reading it the tears were running down my face, I laughed so much. thank you, it was a real tonic.

Answer 9

ha ha

Answer 10

Funny story...weak punchline. (I'm a c**t I know).

Steve.