Can becoming a Christian (sincerely) change a cheating husband?

Question

Around christmas my husband of 6 yrs cheated on me with a so-called family friend. I had no clue, although we were having problems i totally trusted him. He broke things off with her, and talked with a friend of his who is a christian for advice. This person told him he had to come clean about it and change his life and pray to God to save him and his family from destruction. Feb 3 my husband confessed to me, he told me everything. He seemed sincere, crying and begging me not to leave him not to take the kids to give him another chance. He said he would do whatever it takes to fix our marriage. because he did confess on his own, and for my 2 small babies I decided to give him that second chance. He has done a complete 180, we moved, changed jobs (broke all contacts) he has accepted the lord, reads the bible everyday, goes to church, and even i accepted the lord. we are communicating finally, and becoming a better family and couple.

my only worry is if it will be a permanent change?

he knows this is his one and only chance, also he himself suggested the marriage counseling and it was his desire to go to church. I was never religious. But i felt God speaking to me to at the service so we both accepted the lord together.

Answer 1

Worry is an emotion that belongs to satan. Faith in God and standing on your promise you and your husband made with Jesus when you both accepted Him as your personal savior is what will strengthen your marriage.

Matthew 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Concern yourself with what you are able to deal with in the day that God blesses you with. Don't bog yourself down with worry about things you have no control over, in the days ahead that God has not yet given you yet.

As long as you both stay in God's word and study it daily, you will not leave a crack in your faith so that satan cannot trip either of you up in your daily walk with the Lord. You shall be blessed for opening your heart and forgiving your husband for his past.And you husband has been set free from his guilt when he turned to you for your forgiveness for his sinning against you. God shall bless you both.

God bless you always

Carol

Answer 2

People who will say to you, "once a cheater, always a cheater", are wrong. It's true in some cases but not all. It sounds like your husband is sincere. And it's wonderful that you have both turned to the Lord. Whether you are a Christian or not--there are no guarantees in this life. But the fact that you've invited God into your marriage is a great beginning. He will guide you both as you seek to live for Him, and He will help you to find total forgiveness for your husband. Honesty and communication are key--for both of you. And staying in the Word, in prayer, and in a good Bible-based church. If you choose counseling, find a good Christian counselor. Marriage is what we make it, and choosing to stay and try to work things out is rare ...God bless your family.

Answer 3

I can understand your apprehension that your husband might cheat again .. He broke your trust and trust takes awhile to regain .

BUT

Have you truly forgiven him ?? If your husband is making such a turn and is doing his ultimate best to fix things and really was remorseful, then you should forgive him...

As a Christian , we are to forgive people their transgressions regardless of the transgression /sin.

I know its hard but YOU have to decide to forgive him once and for all..Just giving him a 2nd chance , is not enough.. You have actually got to forgive...

If your husband is sincere in his new walk with JESUS , then he will do everything he can to prevent this from happening again...I do not believe as some have said that once a cheater , always a cheater.. That's a common fallacy brought on by what society says ...Making a statement as once a cheater leaves no room to heal a heart..DO NOT THINK THAT WAY.. Its wrong ...

If you love your husband and truly in your heart want it to work ( which you seem you do since you took him back ) then forgive him and start to heal your broken heart.. This is the only way .. JESUS can help you .. Ask JESUS to help you forgive him.. JESUS will show you the way...

I will pray for you both ....I hope I could help ..

Love and Blessings and oh by the way .

BIG WELCOME TO THE FAMILY :)

Answer 4

I feel that every man and woman has to carry his own weight, whether or not they are willing to accept its outcome. But by trusting God, he's taken the necessary steps to repent for his sin. On the other hand, if he's still being pursued by thoughts/memories of a long time adulterous affair then failure is bound come again. He's got to give the lord his heart because I've had the misfortune of committing this horrible sin, too, I've paid dearly for my actions. Now, I am in a stable christian relationship and I thank the lord for this gift. But prior to his help, I struggle with lust. And If anything the best method to fight this death of the flesh is accept a discipline base on daily reading of the scriptures, having faith in the lord and daily prayer.What makes the cure a daunting task is satan. This evil spirit works the body, soul and spirit and It's a liar. Yet I found that the good spirit works with the mind and without the mind the devil can't continue to do wrong. So a mind in love with God has a path to forgiveness. And everything else comes to its proper place. That's why he is doing better but are you willing to forgive him. So when you accept to forgive do it because you believe in God and God will reward you with peace of mind. HE promise you. In the name of Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit Amen.

Answer 5

Im sorry this happened to you. You forgiving him takes a lot of courage and shows how strong of a person you are.

Sometimes a new lifestyle can change a person, and it can be permanent. For you and your family sake, I hope it is a permanent change.

However, the reality is, there are a lot of Christian men out there who do cheat on their wives everyday. My step-uncle was a minister, had two beautiful children and a loving wife, but he ended up having an affair with the female minister at his church. Him and his wife, once she found out, truly tried to mend things but he couldn't keep away from other women. Both were miserable and ended up in a divorce. Amid the controversy at their church, my step-uncle quit his job.

It's sad that betrayal happens, but it does. No particular group is safe from it.

Blessings to you. I hope everything works out for the best.

Answer 6

As long as you keep the communication going, and don't bring up the incident whenever you have an argument, then he should be okay. Also make sure that there is no reason for him to seek out other outlets. That includes emotional and sexual needs.

There should be a covenant between the two of you that he would never be alone with a woman other than you, and you should never be alone with a man other than your husband.

Naturally, there are situations (say, at work) where that may not always be possible, but they should be the exception, not the rule.

Answer 7

In my opinion you have to give him alot of credit for coming to you and confessing. That took alot of courage. Alot of men might be able to stop cheating, but very few have the courage to confess what they've done. Christianity is a great religion and I am proud to be a member of it. You guys are off to great new start in life. Just trust and respect him and demand the same from him, and together, commit yourselves to the lord and teach your children about the lord and the importance of being honest and having integrity. You have a brave husband and you guys are gonna live a great life loving and serving the lord.

Answer 8

Christ tells us that the only reason for a divorce is adultery.

Christ does not tell us that if someone in a marriage commits adultery we have to get divorced.

Change can be permanent or temporary, the only one who knows is God.

You need to pray and let the Holy Spirit guide you in this. It sounds like the Holy Spirit is guiding you to stay with your husband. If that is true you are doing the right thing.

If the Holy Spirit tells you it is time to split do not argue, just get it over with.

Marriage is of God, not by the laws of man, so your marriage will only be over when God calls you away from it.

Answer 9

I think in the longrun it will. But you should be more conserned about yourself. Focus on changing your heart, and leting the Lord into it, and you will see a change. There has to be a turning point in your life where your husband sees a change for the better in you. When he sees what a lovely and holy person you are, he will become a better man, angry at himself, and seeing the contrast - trust me, a truly lovely wife is the one that loves the Lord better then all.

I really hope I helped.

Elsie

PS If this problem continuse, do not give up God - he will be testing you to see your loyalty to him - and perhaps to your husband.

Answer 10

Yes. One of the 10 commandments is; Do not commit aldultry. Your husband made a mistake when cheating, but now he chose the good life, believing in God. When he chose to make this choice in to believing the Lord, his friend was a miracle to him. God will forgive your husband if he asks for forgiveness. Just tell your husband you forgive him, and he needs to ask for repentince from the Lord. He made an amazing choice.


Good Luck With Your Family & Marriage
Carly