If your parents were very social wouldn't that make you turn out very social?

Question

My parents usually stayed home when I was younger. They went to work and basically that was it and they stayed home on the weekends very rarely needing a sitter for my brother and I. So,they very rarely went out and very rarely had parties and I have turned out extremely unsocial so did my brother. Don't you think if my parent's socialized more I wouldn't be as shy as I am?

Answer 1

Not necessarily - the reason I say that is because when I was young my parents socialized a lot! They went to parties, dances, had friends in all the time. Also, I grew up with three siblings. Now I am somewhat of a loner - I socialize a little - not too many friends, go out once in a while. Additionally, I only had one child and she's much like me. It really depends on the person you are - yes, quite often we are a product of our environment/upbringing, but like everything else, there are exceptions to the rule.

Answer 2

No--sometimes it works out the opposite way--I know couples who are extremely outgoing and social and their kids are VERY shy and reserved...this might have been in reaction to their parents behavior as well though--I think people are defintely influenced by their parents behaviors and the environment they were raised in but genetics also plays a part..if someone is really naturally outgoing and sociable--you can usually see this very early on--when they are a young child and the same with shy children..of course, those natural tendencies are influenced by parents but I don't think they are totally changed unless the parents behavior was extreme--for example--if the parents punished them for being social, etc..in your case, it sounds like your parents just were not social--but if you were a naturally very social person, you would have found a way to do things..since you didn't you are either naturally introverted or you didn't get a chance to express some of your more social traits--if the 2nd is true--you can start exploring ways to become more social now--if that feels natural and good--go for it--start interacting more with others and have fun!!

Answer 3

I think it would have helped if they were social and carry the kids with them to a lot of outings,kids staying home with a sitter all the time will most likely have trouble to be social,Young kids stay home go to school home at nights have a babysitter on weekends thats like being home 24/7 not good for a child,they need to be involved from a early age.

Answer 4

My folks were sociable and I learned how to be at an early age - seemed good at the time.
However, there was a lot of boozing around and I also got the habit of being friends with boozers - not so good.
Recently found I have another side of my personality, much shyer and quieter, not so much into parties, preferring smaller groups of friends, or maybe one or two at a time.
Easy to think the grass is greener, I guess.
But if you want to be more sociable, join a group which does an activity you like or are interested in, so you are not just dependent on who shows up, but you have the main activity to enjoy too....sport, arts, old grassmowers, music, whatever.

Answer 5

Actually, no really.
Its your sense of comfort. My parents were not social outside of Sundays a church. I on the other wanted to talk on the phone all the time as a preteen and "gogogo" as a teen. I was not allowed to "go out" with friends, So I did the next best thing I got a job at a super fun place An Amusement Park. It was the best part of highschool. I worked at least 40-60 hours a week in summertime and LOVED it.

Answer 6

Not necessarily; my parents were out every Saturday night when I was growing up, and I think I'm more of a homebody now. I still go out, of course, but I wouldn't quite consider myself a social butterfly -- I don't go someplace without a specific purpose in mind as opposed to just to meet people. More of our character gets formed in our twenties, and we make those choices either based on what we saw and learned growing up or in reaction to them -- we do the opposite.

Your question could just as easily be, "If my parents were alcoholics (a component of too many socials, I'm afraid) wouldn't that make you an alcoholic too?" The potential is there, but it's ultimately your choice, whether you grow up to have some non-physical characteristic or trait or not.

Answer 7

I know our family environment/culture has a lot to do with who we become, but comes a point in our development when we branch out and discover social expectations and our own interests. This includes friends, dances, sports, clubs- all the social circles. So no, becoming unsocial is not a genetic thing it is a personality glitch.

Answer 8

Not necessarily, I am very social-including my children in my socializing--most of my friends have kids their ages. My daughter still will break away from the group to read. She is extremely shy and prefers to be alone. Sometimes it is more genetics than lifestyle. Some parents are very social but stifle it when they have kids. Try to overcome your shyness. Maybe instead of large group gatherings, you would be better off in one on one friendships. But everyone needs friends and needs to take time to enjoy life!

Answer 9

That is not always the case. You still may have turned out shy. But if you are wanting to change the way you are in public maybe something to try would be a college course in speech or something like that. This would maybe bring you around other people and your would also feel better talking to them.

Answer 10

not necessarily my dad talks to every one, i was always shy and not very talkative growing up but since about grade 11 or so and now that im out on my own i can start up a conversation with almost anyone
my mom says it just took a while for me to come out of my shell so to speak of
any way, or u may just be the type of person who was meant to be stay home and read a book type of person, no one can really know for sure