self harming?

Question

i cut.......my boyfriend asked me to promise i wont do it again but i told him i cant because if i do then i will let him down as well as myself if i do it again

but how do i tell him that 90% of the time the reason i do it is because of him!!

just to clear why he causes me to do it........paranoia? insecurity i have these and dont think he helps when he does things that make me feel bad about myself that make me question why hes with me

Answer 1

well you know they think that they are helping you with their little neg commons. They think that will make you quit, but in turn it makes things more stressful, and harder. If it is because of him you are self harming , you need to talk to him about the things he says to you that is giving you low self esteem. Sometimes the men in our lifes are really trying to help, but they make things worse. Now if they could just supportive without their little negative remarks, they would be a heck of a lot more supportive, and it would help a lot more, then the little neg remarks they throw at us. But they r feeling helpless in helping us, and they are going to try every thing they know to help. Sometimes it just turns out that you guys end up spliting up for the rest of your lifes. Unless he learns that what he is doing makes things worse, so u really need commuiation so you two can talk, and maybe work things out so he is a lot more supportive the way you need him to be, and not the way he thinks will help youl u 2 really need to sit down and talk about this, and see what you can come up with.

Answer 2

if he cant learn to love you leave him
if he really loves you and doesnt see his own mistakes
you should tel him....
dont be afraid ...be real
harming yourself is dum ...
when there's a tommorow ??
anger is poisen ..once affected
you dont know where its directed ...
why dont you write a dear diary
to take the pain out ....
somethin you can look back to
n think did i do that ?? lol
self harm isnt good
your the one thats feelin pain
and no1 else while their all happy this n that
i'm sure you know the difference
whats right and what wrong
if your clever you will avoid all wrong
and do all right do you get what i mean
remember if you lost your leg
later you will be wishin you had a leg
so i can run on two cuase its faster
than hoppin on one real slow
dont be out of your head
n start choppin all your body
jus cause i've said this
your too negative start bein more postive
and maybe you'l see changes
if you dont like the person leave him
at the end of the day he's gonna be worried
oh my fault i did bad n she cut her fingers
what is he gonna be thinkin ???
anyway i've explained what i wanted to
dont go tooo deep where you cant reach no1 4 help
at the end of the day the body is your home
your soul is in your body dont distroy your home
be happy and your soul will be happy
dont harm your self again its not the right thing to do
especially when god created such a great beautiful
women human being that is so attractive and has different
qualities to what a man has..you know what i mean
you need to fix up get out n do what you want
i've seen alot of women in the same shoes
n when they did listen to what i said
they had everything to gain and nothin to lose
make the right choice in life not the wrong one
stand up n fight like a women !! anyway i have to go
i can only bless but the cure is inside of you ..
to solve the rest ...
make friends who really are your friends
there are alot of idiots you know who jus want a women for different reasons ...
you aint paranoid its what you brain makes you think when you drink or smocke drugs or be negative ....
you can always email me if you want me to make you feel better and give you advice its what friends are here for alot of people jus talk and they dont know what they talk about its jus nonsense ..thats why i tell you to always be happy and nothin can harm or come in your way..i wish you PEACE and luck to find the right path ...take care and think wisely to what i have said so far...bye !!!

Answer 3

Maybe this is something that you should try and promise. Maybe promise to do the best you can that way when you want to cut again you will remember the promise. In the meantime don't tell him that it is soley his fault. If he makes you angry or upset that happens a lot in relationships, it happens a lot in life and you are going to have to find a better way to cope. Try picking up something like knitting, sewing, drawing, writing in a journal and use this as a release. I know that is probably hard because cutting goes very deep but do the best you can.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear that you do this. I cut myself too when I'm stressed or down. I understand that you can't promise not to do it again. Friends and family ask me to, but I can't, all I say to them is I promise to try and get help if I feel like doing it. All I suggest is trying to write things in a letter to him. Explain that you love him and that there are a few things he does that upsets you. Allow him time to read it and then agree to discuss it. If you want more advice don't hesitate to email me. I do understand what you're going through.

Answer 5

It is easy for someone else to just ask you to never do it again. He clearly cares about you to ask you to promise to never do it again, but it is not that easy. I think that cutting is a form of an addiction. It is like asking an alcoholic to just stop drinking or asking someone who is depressed to just cheer up. You say that most of the time you do it because of him. I think that you might be doing it because it is a form of self hatred. You cut yourself to punish yourself, and for a moment you feel better like you have a visual and physical feeling that represents your inner pain. It might not even be something you are aware of anymore. You need to find another way of coping with these feelings. A way that is not so harmful to yourself. Unfortunately that is hard to do, but very possible. Instead of promising him that you will stop tell him that you are trying to find another way to express these feelings. Try talking to him about the way he makes you feel totally separate of the cutting. Maybe that will help?

Answer 6

You really need to start seeking professional help for your problems, you have more of them than just cutting yourself!

Your boyfriend is not the reason any of the time, that's only an excuse you use to do it. your playing a game called " look what you make me do" and you need to knock it off, and start trying to take control of your life and your future. Your not going to have much of either if you don't get a grip.

Answer 7

You need to talk to a councillor. Contact Samaritans via the web. They have an e-mail programme.

Your boyfriend seems sincere in wanting you to stop. Therefore I cannot fathom why you cut because of him. Try to talk to him of your concerns. If you still continue cutting. I suggest you seperate for a while.

Good Luck

addition: what does he do to make you question yourself???

Answer 8

ok let me put it this way, if you know what is the problem then you can clearly see the solution, he provokes the situation and you must tell him that is why, be honest with him and it might give him an understanding of your condition and probably he will be willing to help you stop, it is not a problem of yours but a relationship problemand it needs to be adressed by both of you...

Answer 9

man thats addictive i was cutting for about a year until someone decided to notice i was completely insecure. if you really dont know how to tell him when he confronts you again tell him to stuff it and shout all your feelings out to him. works for me.

Answer 10

Very clearly! If it is because of him you need to tell him so he can change.

If he dosen't understand this then go away, get help and stay away from him.

Good luck.