my cousins dead! now?

Question

my cousin just shot herself in the mouth 2 weeks ago and died i have been so sad since that and now my fammily is tryin 2 put me in councling should i go my cousin was only 26 yrs old and almost done with college how do i do it

im only 12

Answer 1

I lost my 25 yr old (only sibling) sister to suicide. She hung herself. That was almost 20 yrs ago. I know you can't understand why they would want to leave the people who love them. I found that it hurts as much today as the day it happened. Please, go to grief counseling. I wish that I would have when it first happened. It has effected my life in lots of ways (like being close to people, you don't want to be hurt like that again so you don't let people in) My life might have turned out completely different had I had counseling so please go. Have your parents or you call your local Mental Health Dept. and ask if they have grief counseling sessions. They probably have a group of people your own age and they may also have people who are dealing with suicide. Honey, it's a whole different type of grieving so if you can, that's what I would suggest. I started grief counseling 2 weeks ago and am 46 now. Like I said I wish I would have done it sooner. Please don't do like I did and think it will just go away. Don't let it effect your life in negative ways. I wish you the very best and am so sorry about your cousin. I know it hurts real bad but it will get better if you can talk about it with people who understand. You take care of yourself and God bless you!!!

Answer 2

The understanding and differences in life between a 12 year old and a 26 year old are very vast. Grieve for your cousin, but you do not need to be with her, she would never have wanted what she did for you, if she loved you and you loved her, you know better. Your cousin lived twice the years on this earth than you did, she did 14 years more stuff than you did, why would you want to lose out on those 12 years or maybe those 24 years, hey lets go to the year you turn 45 and you think back to when you were 12 and how you did not think there was any more life to live, you know what, you will be glad you did live those years, moments and that you will have all the memories in between, even the memories of your cousin who could not see any way out and ended her journey at 26. Your journey has just begun, walk the road, climb the mountain and when it is your time to finally rest, then it will be your time, but that time is not now. God Bless.

Answer 3

Melinda,

Sweetie, I pray for you. I am so sorry to hear about that. I do not want you to feel you have no where to turn to or feel that your parents are being hard on you. They love you and they see that you are being bothered by your cousins death. Think about it this way, they are scared of possibly losing you the same way. It is a horrifying feeling for a parent to "not know" what their child is thinking of. This is them reaching out to you..letting you know that if you can't talk to them..please talk to someone. Whether it is counseling or even spiritual counseling (which I recommend) get it.

I was almost in your cousin's shoes. Had it not been the fact that I found someone to talk to I may not have been here. I am so glad I stayed because of all of the beautiful things I am able to see and do and share. I found a website that had this letter which I would like to share with you. Baby, you are so young. Don't spend the rest of your life being locked in a shell. Seek the help your parents are trying to get for you. You are going to have to open up. Stay beautiful Melinda.
http://mademecry.tripod.com/id66.html

Answer 4

I'm so sorry for the loss of your cousin.

She is safe and in no pain and in heaven with the Father if this is any comfort to you...

this is from the Holy Bible for you..

Ecclesiastes 12:6 --Or ever the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be broken at the fountain, or the wheel broken at the cistern.(this all means the physical body)
12:7--Then shall the dust (the body)return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.

yes counseling is good.
Talking to a minister of a Christian faith could help very much also...
also call the suicide hotlines and tell them the story and ask them what you might do...they might just have the right solution just for you .

Answer 5

I'm sorry that happened. But you have to think, your cousin is in a better place. The only advice I can give you is that time will heal. But you can't live in the past. Focus on your future. Talk to your family and let all your sadness out. Cry it all out. Eventually you can get through this. You can do it. I'll say a prayer for you.
Best of Luck......

Answer 6

My heart goes out to you and your loss of your cousin.You really should seek counseling.Your family knows what is best for you.And the way your cousin died just makes more confusion.You need someone to talk to about these vent up feelings inside.Life does go on.Unfortunately we were never promised a smooth road ahead.Again I'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry. I don't blame you for being incredibly sad since it happened. You say that your family is trying to put you into counseling. Let them - it's just a chance to talk and think about your cousin and ask questions - counseling takes some time but give it a chance.

Answer 8

Definitely try counseling hon. It'd help to get all your emotions out, especially because your cousin was so young and it was a suicide. If you aren't into speaking about your emotions, try writing/blogging or singing. The important thing is to find a way to express your emotions and not leave them inside where they can stifle you.

I'm really sorry for your loss and wish you the very best!

Answer 9

My uncle did the same thing many years ago I went to counseling and I am fine now many of my other family members didn't and they are falling apart in more ways then I can count. Go talk to some one it will help some.

Answer 10

Your family is trying to help you get through this as this is a terrible thing. I don't think you understand what counseling really is. I went when my mom died. All you do is talk to someone. Your conversations are private. (They will not tell anyone not even your parents) Go you have nothing to loose and allot to gain.