My mom is dating and I don't want her to!?

Question

My dad cheated on my mom and now she wants to date but it isn't fair because she gives me no choice on who she dates. She picks the gooniest dunderheads and it makes me so mad. It makes me feel like she doesn't care, and really, sometimes I feel like I could scream. She actually goes online to one of those 'find your soul mate' websites and she made a picture of herself. Maybe because she is my mom I don't like her dating, but it really makes me mad seeing her with all these different guys. I try making her understand my point of view, but she just laughs and tries to make it a joke! Please give me insight on what to do!

Answer 1

It's important for you to understand that your Mother has been hurt by your Father's actions. She's looking for affirmation and attention from another man. That's normal. You can help your Mom heal by letting her know that you love her and that she is the best Mom in the world. Turn your words into actions; show her how valuable she is. Be mature and be happy for her that she is still willing to love. You cannot control who she dates; but if she asks for your advice, share with her what you think in a very mature and respectable way.

And always remember, this too will pass.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

How old are you? Perhaps you're too young to understand about adult relationships. Your mother has every right to date who she pleases, she's been cheated on and that is never a good feeling. Being cheated on makes a person feel unloved, unwanted and underisable. Maybe you'll learn how that feels when you get older - let's hope not though.

I don't see anything about your father except that he cheated on your mom. Do you think it's okay what he did to her? Is he dating? If so, how do you feel about him dating a bunch of different women?

The real person you should be mad at is your father for breaking up your family - not your mother for trying to get on with her life and provide a life for you.

Answer 3

I went through the same thing when I was a kid. But now that I'm in my early 20's, my view has totally changed on everything. You have to realize that you aren't going to live with her forever and she has to start to create a life for herself. It may be hard now because you are at home, and have to deal with the different people that she is bringing home. Honestly though, I can tell you that she cares for you more than anything in the world.

I'm sure that she does see your side of things; however, have you stopped to consider hers? It's easier for her to find someone now. By the time that you leave home, she'll be older, and the older you get the harder it becomes to force yourself to get out there.

Try to think about things from her perspective, and then sit down and talk with her. Let her know that you understand the position that she's in, and then try to find a compromise so that both of you can be happy.

Trust me when you are older, the last thing you want is a mother who isn't in a relationship, because she'll be clinging to you, and not many people want to be with someone who has their mother attached to their hip!

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Whether you like it or not, you have to face the fact that your mum is a grown woman who can do what she likes.
It is good that your mum is dating as she has obviously been through a very tough time. If its the people she is dating that is the problem then perhaps you need to think about it in terms of her self-esteem. She probably has very little at the moment because your dad cheated on her, maybe you should encourage her and tell her she is a wonderful woman or whatever and just because your dad cheated on her does not make her undesirable.

Answer 5

Well.. have u seen "The perfect man" starring Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear and Chris North ? It's a similar situation... Maybe you could try finding a 'perfect man' for your mother. I dunno what I would do, if I were you. Perhaps your mom lost her self-respect when your dad cheated on her... Maybe, I dunno, she just tries to show she doesn't care, but she isn't involved in these relationships... I'm sure your mom's dates make u mad... I think this will take a short period of time.. maybe she'll really find 'her soul mate'... Try to talk to her again and make her realise that she can trust u and talk to you.. You should speak gently and you shoudn't begin by telling her it's all wrong. Well... hope it will help even a little... Good Luck!

Answer 6

Its soo hard what your going thru. I went thru it with my dad. After him and my mom split up, he started dating a couple years after that. I was about 14. He went on those websites and found women and some of them were just dirtballs! He would leave all night and i wouldnt hear from him, it got me so worried, plus i felt like he forgot about me! Then he met another woman and proposed to her. I didnt like her at all! She is very controlling. They got married a few months later. They have been married about 4 years and i still dont see eye to eye with her, but we get along enough. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that my dad is happy. So as long as your mom is happy, thats all that should matter. She will figure it out if the men she is dating are good or not. Give her time to get back into the routine of dating. You need to be supportive in her decisions. Its hard but just try to bite your tongue and get tough! You can do it and good luck!

Answer 7

The answer would be that every one should sort out their lovelives before they have children. The reality is that they don't! (Me included, by the way!)
What do you want your mother to do - sit there and grow old and lonely, just because you don't approve? Or let her out to have some fun every now and again?
She's feeling very hurt and low after your dad - she needs to feel that she is still worthy as a person. You fancy someone, don't you? It's natural. That's what single people do (and as your dad has proved, some married ones, too).
Give your mother a break. Go on - she's only one of millions of single mothers the world over who'd like a bit of fun before they climb into the coffin!

Answer 8

Well you mom is OLDER, (out lived decisions/experiencing rethinking) and wants the best for you based on the fact she has lived longer then you. Unfortunately, you can't give your children their own experience. I think you mom knows a loser very well for a young person fearing what she has seen from her past. You need to let her find someone that she can relate to. BUT you need to remind her of that process that she has learned and taken for granted having seen it so many times before. You need to learn that first hand.

Answer 9

I want to challenge u a bit. If U were dating someone and ur mother told u - u should not bcs she dont like ur friend what would u do?? Be very pissed of Im sure and ask her to mind her own buisness bcs its u that are going to be with the guy --- not her and its exactly how u should threat ur mothers datings --- be happy for her for Christ sake - shes trying to move on with her life

Answer 10

I understand how you feel I delt with this back in my younger years. But you need to understand that you mother also needs adult compainionship, yea she is going to date quite a few losers now, but hell how many losers or crazies are you going to date till you find someone worth staying with. You also have to understand that when a person is cheated on it makes them question their own worth, and in today's socity ppl still find that thier worth comes from others opions on them. I know this can be a hard time for you but you have to try and deal with it in an adult fashion because this is also a difficult time for your mother.